


Caffeinated Kisses

by SassyStrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Barista Dave, F/F, F/M, I don't know a lot about high school so sorry if I mess up, I'm sorry this is so cliche i just wanted to write about a coffee shop au and dumb johndave kisses, Jake appears once or twice, M/M, Swearing, This Is STUPID, coffee shop AU, it was originally called something else, shoutout to my dad for giving me the title for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 05:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 44,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2098131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyStrider/pseuds/SassyStrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ugh. Fucking Starbucks. You are DAVE STRIDER and you currently work at the local Starbucks to help you pay for college and to, well, live. While you and your bro have a fuckton of cash, he wants you to have some responsibility, and told you to get a job anyway. It fucking sucks working here and you know why? Bratty teenage girls get pissed off at the slightest thing and then just sashay themselves out of the establishment. Oh no, the chocolate drizzle was too thick, or there wasn't enough whipped cream- FUCKING GET OVER IT. You don't know why they strive to ruin your life every single day. However, there's this one guy who comes in every day that's not so bad. Plus he's sort of cute you've got to admit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 (aka Meet Dave Strider)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, technically, in canon, John gave Dave his Ben Stiller shades. In this fic, imagine that John gave Dave some regular shades because he found his triangle shades to be a bit dumb. HOWEVER, Dave will get his classic Ben Stiller shades later.
> 
> Tumblr mirror: http://8luh-8luh-huge-8logger.tumblr.com/post/94089381552/caffeinated-kisses-chapter-1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/15/14 Edit: Oh dear I forgot to put Terezi on the list of people that Dave is friends with! It's now fixed.

Ugh. Fucking Starbucks. You are DAVE STRIDER and you currently work at the local Starbucks to help you pay for college and to, well, live. While you and your bro have a fuckton of cash, he wants you to have some responsibility, and told you to get a job anyway. It fucking sucks working here and you know why? Bratty teenage girls get pissed off at the slightest thing and then just sashay themselves out of the establishment. Oh no, the chocolate drizzle was too thick, or there wasn't enough whipped cream- FUCKING GET OVER IT. You don't know why they strive to ruin your life every single day. However, there's this one guy who comes in every day who doesn't bitch about everything. Plus he's sort of cute you've got to admit.

Every morning he enters with a wave and orders different things on different days. The best thing is, he doesn't try to make the hardest combinations he can think of and actually makes up some creative things that even you applaud. He seems the same age as you, and you assume he goes to the same college as you; it wouldn't surprise you if he did. He has bright azure eyes framed by black glasses and jet black hair that's slicked with hair gel into a cowlick. While the cowlick is a bit dumb, over all, he's okay. You've become somewhat friends with him, and if you don't have customers, you'll talk and chatter with him.

Today, he comes in with a tired smile and walks up to the counter, leaning against it.

“What can I get ya, sleeping beauty?” You let a smirk ghost your face as you see him narrow his eyes at you. You know he's not annoyed though as you see his little smile. “Studying got ya tired?”

He nods at your words, albeit lazily.

“Yeah. I have a giant test in one of my classes and I don't see how he wanted us to study SO MUCH content in one night! Doesn't he know we need sleep?” He grumbles on to himself and shakes his head as he straightens his back and stops leaning against the counter. “Can I have a Salted Caramel Mocha with extra whipped cream please?”

“Sure thing.” You start making his coffee as he gets out his wallet and for some reason you can feel something watching you. Probably just your imagination. Once you've finished making it, you turn back to him and give him his coffee as he pays you.

“Thanks, dude. Ugh I'm so fucking tired.” He holds his head with one hand, groaning as he sits at the table closest to the counter so that you two can talk.

“I bet you are. Which class was it in?” You raise an eyebrow from behind your shades. There's only a few classes that have tests this week, and sometimes different classes schedule tests at different times.

“Biology. Do you not have the test?” He gives you a questioning look and turns his head your way as he sips his coffee.

“Nah dude I have the test. I just don't show how tired I am, unlike someone I know.” You grin at him as he frowns at you, setting his coffee down on the dark wooden table.

“Yeah, well it's hard not to look and act tired! I stayed up until four in the morning last night, only to have to wake up at Eight. Four hours of sleep isn't enough, Dave.” He shakes his head again and drinks down more of his coffee as he moans in lethargy. The noise sounds weird coming out of his mouth and he lies his head on the table.

“Are...you okay? Do I need to call someone or...?” Looking around the cafe and thenback at John, you furrow your brows in worry. You aren't completely serious but he seems to be more out of shape than normal. “Are you hungover or something?”

He flinches when you say that. “Now that you say that..My head DOES hurt...Am I hungover?” He groans and thumps his head back down on the table.

“I dunno, man. I don't live with you so how would I know?” Since you didn't have any other customers that morning, you walked over to his table and sat in the chair next to him. “You gonna be alright?”

“Eh, I should be fine,” He lifts his head off from the table and sips his coffee, "but thanks anyway.” He weakly grins at you and you return it.  
He quietly drinks his coffee while he lets his head droop and you almost feel sorry for the poor guy. However, more customers are coming in and you have to tend to them. He understands and nods at you to go do your job. You pat his back and go back to the counter, taking peoples' orders and making their drinks.

Eventually, he stands up and gets out of his seat. He sees you watching him and smiles at you, giving you a wave as he walks out of the Starbucks.

Fortunately, you get to see John every morning at Starbucks so at least you get one cool customer and friend to outdo all the negative customers. Unfortunately, he has no classes with you since he has day classes and you have night classes. You think about this while you're in your math class, only half-listening to what the math teacher has to say. What if next year you have classes together? It is close to the end of the year... You lightly drum your fingers on the desk, and thankfully, the teacher doesn't seem to notice or care.

What would it be like with John as your friend? I mean, to be honest, you're friends with Rose (who's your sister), Rose's girlfriend (by default, you guess), Dirk (your cousin), Terezi (a girl in day classes), and you're on okay terms with your other cousin, Roxy, a shy boy who raps with you named Tavros who's in day classes, and this one angry guy named Karkat who's in day classes. Wow you...don't have a lot of friends. You're not that unsocial, are you? Oh well.

If John was your friend, that would be pretty cool, to be honest. He'd said one day that he'd teach you the ways of pranking and cinema. Pfff, the dork. However, John claimed that he is “one of the best pranksters in the area, excluding his cousin, Jane”. You don't exactly believe him, but he probably has a few tricks up his sleeve.

Anyway, hope he transfers from day to night classes so that maybe you'll be able to talk to him more, and maybe teach him a little bit of irony and mixing. Not to mention, you get him being his cute and humorous little self all day- er, night. Oh, wow, no. It sounds odd when you say night. _Technically_ , the correct thing to say would be night, since you take the night classes, not day classes, but the innuendo and sexual undertones of that are increasingly high. Getting to have John all night... Awkwardly coughing, you rub your legs together and hope your blush isn't as noticable as you think it is.


	2. Chapter 2 (AKA meet John Egbert)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see John's POV of chapter one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn. Y'all get an early update. I didn't think I'd be able to write this that quickly! I guess motivation does that to a person ;9 EDIT: Also, I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes in the future. I just fixed the ones in this chapter. I type pretty fast and usually don't edit/overlook things so sometimes there are mistakes...  
> P.S. Yeah, John is fuckin' rich. He can afford all of this Starbucks.

You are JOHN EGBERT and damn are you tired. Studying and four hours of sleep does that to a person. You should be used to a fucked up sleep schedule but eh, you just aren't. Welp, time to hit the local Starbucks so you can officially wake up. Before you get coffee in your body, most things are all a blur and you're slightly irritable. It depends sometimes. You can be grumpy and act like a douchebag, and then regret it, or you act like a giggling imbecile.

The local Starbucks also has this barista that you've befriended named Dave. He's pretty cool and he seems to like you too. He works the morning shift, so you get to see him every morning when you go in for your daily cup of coffee. To be honest, there's usually female baristas, so it surprised you when there was a male barista. He's...actually not bad looking, but you shouldn't dwell on that. 

You slip on a blue, plaid button-up, a pair of dark navy jeans, and your yellow Converse that you cherish so much and head out the door to your car. Slipping in the driver's seat, you flex your fingers on the steering wheel while taking a deep breath. Hopefully, you won't fall asleep while behind the wall and get yourself rammed into a tree. Thankfully, you manage to drive the whole way, though a few times you caught your eyes drooping.

You walk in though the front glass door and give Dave a tired smile. You're not really enthusiastic enough to give a full-fledged wave and hello. Once you're at the counter, you lean against it to keep your balance. You're going to need that caffeine stat. How the fuck did you manage to drive here?

“What can I get ya, Sleeping Beauty?” He smirks at you and you narrow your eyes at him to let him know that he shouldn't really call you that, but you smile just a little bit so that he knows you're not really all that angry. His voice makes the taunt sound more melodic. Maybe it's the accent? You could clearly hear his accent when he said that. Why are you dwelling on his voice? Ugh it's too early for this shit.

“Studying got ya tired?” He gives you what you assume is a knowing look. He's a fellow high school student. He knows the struggle. The struggle is real.

“Yeah. I have a giant test in one of my classes and I don't see how he wanted us to study SO MUCH content in one night! Doesn't he know we need sleep?” You grumble about how it's just not fair for your teacher to be depriving his students of precious sleep and straighten up from your leaning position on the counter. You have to order your coffee, yes that's a thing. “Can I have a Salted Caramel Mocha with extra whipped cream please?” 

“Sure thing.” He gives you a small grin before he turns around to make your coffee. As you take out your wallet, you can't help but stare at him for a bit. Since some of the things are on the lower shelves, he has to bend over, and his ass juts out obscenely. Those jeans are damn tight and wow they hug his figure really well... You quickly blush and shake your head. No, no, no! Get out of half-asleep horny stupor, John! He finishes rather quickly and you pay him.

“Thanks, dude. Ugh I'm so fucking tired.” You hold your head in one hand so that it stops hurting and groan as you sit down at the table closest to the counter so that you can chat with Dave while you finish your coffee. 

“I bet you are. Which class was it in?” What class was what in? Oh, right, the test! Fuck, you really need to start drinking this coffee...

“Biology. Do you not have the test?” You raise an eyebrow at him while you sip your coffee. Ahhh yes. Perfect, perfect coffee. You can feel the caffeine working already! Not enough, though. You just need more...

“Nah dude I have the test. I just don't show how tired I am, unlike someone I know.” He gives you a grin and you frown at him in return. He shouldn't be acting so smug and cocky! You studied really fucking hard, so you'll be able to do that test probably better than him.

“Yeah, well it's hard not to look and act tired! I stayed up until four in the morning last night, only to have to wake up at eight. Four hours of sleep isn't enough, Dave.” You shake your head lightly and make pained groaning noises to more actively show how tired you are, then drink down more of your coffee. You rest your head on the table for a moment to ease your headache.

“Are...you okay? Do I need to call someone or...? Are you hungover or something?” He sounds genuinely concerned, while still sounding not serious. Did that last sentence make sense? Fuuuuuuck.

You flinch a bit and raise your head when he says the word “hungover”. ARE you hungover? You remember drinking something last night, but it wasn't alcohol, was it? It was coffee or water, right?

“Now that you say that..My head DOES hurt...AM I hungover?” You groan and thump your head back down on the table. You can't deal with this right now. You are 100% done.

“I dunno, man. I don't live with you so how would I know?” He walks over to your table and sits down in the empty chair next to you, like he's going to start comforting you or something. “You gonna be alright?”

“Eh, I should be fine,” you lift your head up from the table and sip some of your coffee so that you can enjoy it while it's hot and to have the caffeine, ”but thanks anyway.”

You give him a bit of a weak smile and he grins right back at you. This at least lightens up your mood a bit, and you quietly sip your coffee as you watch some customers come in. He gives you a look that you know means “I'm sorry, I have to go” and you nod in understanding. He has a job to do and he can't waste time sitting over here with you. He pats you on the back and returns back to the counter where he proceeds to take peoples' orders. 

Eventually, your coffee is finished and you finally feel awake. You stand up and stretch as you go to throw your coffee cup away. You see that Dave is watching you and you give him a smile and a wave before you're leaving the Starbucks to go to your classes.

 

Speaking of classes, you take day classes at the nearby high school and today, you have a giant test in biology. Thankfully, it's in two hours and it's not in the first class. However, the first two periods of classes are making you nervous about the test. You're sure you'll do fine, but still. 

“John, chill!” Jade's harsh whispering brings you back to reality. You must have tensed up a bit. Were you mumbling words under your breath? Shit, you probably were. Poor Jade, she has to deal with all of your shit.

“Hehe, sorry Jade!” You give her a sheepish smile and go back to your worksheet. She rolls her eyes and gives you a smile, slinging her arm around your neck and pulling closer to her in a hug. She eventually releases you with a final pat of your head.

“You know, John, you shouldn't worry. You're really smart and I bet you're gonna ace the test!” She gives you a wink and widens her smile so you can see her buck teeth. She gives you a big thumbs up and then, after a moment of thought, she smiles impossibly wider and gives you a second thumbs up using her other hand.

"You know what, Jade? Maybe you're right...! Yeah, I'm gonna get a good grade on this test. I, John Egbert, will NOT get a bad grade!!!" The substitute shushes you both and shoots a glare in your direction and you shrink in your seat with slightly wide eyes. Jade hurriedly and fearfully returns to her worksheet and you decide to follow her lead and do the same. Yeah...You're gonna beat this test's ass! With the power of coffee, reassuring words from Jade, the smiles you get from Dave, and hard work! You may or may not internally pump your fist in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sort of busy, so it might take me a little while to make chapters. I'm sorry! By the way, I'm not very acquainted with colleges and stuff, so I'm sorry if I'm incorrect with anything concerning colleges!


	3. Don't mess up my coffee order!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and John have a dramatic morning and a new character enters the fray

You feel like you totally aced the test. While you may seem like a rapping douchebag on the outside, you're actually intelligent on the inside. You wonder if John failed the test. Probably not. He's a pretty intelligent guy and besides, he said he spent a long time studying, and studying always helps to pass a test. Well, unless you're cramming, which means you just have a higher chance of not bombing the entire test. You may or may not know this from experience... Hey, cramming _CAN_ work sometimes!

Anyway, you can only imagine how disappointed John would be if he failed the test or got a bad grade. You can only imagine his shocked, heartbroken face in that scenario. Hopefully you'll learn soon whether he got it or not. That teacher is known for grading things quick and doing everything-with the exception of dissecting- fast and precise.

You sit and idly try to compose new ideas for your music, when suddenly, your thoughts are interrupted by a cheery, “Hi Dave!”You look up and John is standing there awkwardly, giggling at you while you quickly stand up and remove your elbow from the table. When did you start leaning against it?

“Wow, dude. Were you about to fall asleep or something? You know you have a job to do, right? Hehe what would your boss say?” He chuckles a bit at you but you know he's joking. He would never insult you about your job, considering the fact you make his coffee almost every morning.

“Nah bro I was just thinkin' about ways to fuck up your coffee order.” You give him a slight smirk and he looks at you in mock horror and anger. Oh, this should be fun.

“You would never!” He puts his hand to his chest, as if he's offended by your words. His voice also went into a dramatic tone. You're doing this. You're making it happen. Other customers be damned. If they walk in, they can just enjoy the free show.

“Of course I would, John. 'One caramel mocha with extra whipped cream'? More like 'one caramel mocha with less whipped cream than normal and chocolate syrup added'.” You glare at him and grin with a mischievous glint in your eyes, telling him your “evil scheme”.

He brings his hand to his forehead and looks faint. “Nooooooo!!! Not my caramel mocha!” He pretends to tremble as his legs shiver and he closes his eyes. “I need the perfect coffee, Dave. How could you ever do that to me?! How dare you!” His voice sounds as if he could sob at any moment, and it occurs to you that damn, John's a fantastic actor.

You almost laugh at his dramatic acting, but continue on with your part. The show must go on, and you must always stay in character. “Oh, I dare, John. I dare indeed.” You narrow your eyes and lean across the countertop to get closer to him, your voice almost a purr.

“Oh, you _fiend_!” His eyes are like daggers piercing into you and then his expression softens as he snickers a bit. “But seriously, don't you dare mess up my coffee order, okay? I mean, hey, it's not like I'm asking for, like, 'a caramel mocha with java chips, honey drizzle, chocolate sauce, extra whipped cream, an espresso shot, and a pump of vanilla'. All I ask for is extra whipped cream. Consider yourself lucky. Speaking of caramel mocha with extra whipped cream...Could I have one?” He gives you a buck-toothed grin and takes out his wallet.

“John, you know I can't can't say no because it's my job.” You start to make the concoction that is his caramel mocha and spin back around on your heel, giving him the coffee ceremoniously. “One caramel mocha for the one and only John Egbert.” You give him a wink, but alas he can't see it behind your shades. “By the way, I totally just winked, you know.”

He laughs at your antics and pays you for the coffee as he sits down at his normal table. “Hey, Dave, do you think we aced the test? It actually wasn't too hard, to be honest. I remembered most of the material, and the questions were fairly easy. Thank god for multiple choice.” He sighs with a smile and looks over at you.

It's a relief that the test hadn't been hard for him. “I think I got a pretty good grade. You're right, the test wasn't all that hard. Not like a fuckin walk in the park, but also not like the end of the world, ya know?” It's not something easy to describe... Though if you weren't put on the spot, you probably could have described it flawlessly.

He nods and idly sips his coffee for a few more seconds. “Yeah, I get it.” He glances down at his phone that he'd pulled out a few minutes ago and his eyes widen slightly behind his black frames. “Shit! Our dramatic acting took up most of my time this morning! Sorry dude, I gotta run.”

He waves goodbye to you and then quickly dashes out of the front door, coffee cup still firmly clutched in his hand. You watch him as he leaves and sigh as a girl replaces him in the shop and you prepare for whatever hell she has planned for you.

\----------------------------------

“So Dave, I want to meet him.” Rose leans on her desk with one elbow and gives you a look, smiling all the while with her dark, painted lips.

You give her a questioning look in return. “Meet who?” You wonder exactly who it is she wants to meet and why she's mentioning it to you. Plus, it sounds like she's a mother who wants to see her daughter's new boyfriend. Oh no, is this what you think this is...?

She gives you a slight chuckle and her eyes narrow at you almost predatorily as she grins. “Why, this 'John' character you're always going off about. You see him at the coffee shop just about every morning, correct? You serve him your coffee and then you two chat until he has to leave."

If you had been drinking something, you might have just spit it out in surprise. You weren't drinking though, and even if you were, you are never surprised enough to spit out your drink. That's for weird people. “Why d'ya want to meet John?” You raise a single, blonde eyebrow at her.

“You're always talking about him. 'Me and John joked about this this morning' or 'Wow you should have seen what her said about my apron this morning! How dare he insult my perfectly damn fine Starbucks apron?' I think it's high time that I meet my brother's boyfriend.”

You give her a glare. “Lalonde, I don't know what filthy, depraved things you're thinking about which concern me and John, but we're not boyfriends. We're bros. You know what, I bet you write some sort of fuckin horny fanfics about us, don't you?” You scrunch your face in disgust, because that's actually probably true.

“Of course not, dearest brother! Why would you ever think that?” She puts on a look of mock offense and looks at you in disbelief, her eyes wide, but the slight upturn of her mouth says a different story.

You roll your eyes at her and go back to your worksheet, trying your best to ignore her. However, you see her grinning at you smugly in your peripherals. After a full minute of silence, she announces abruptly, “Me and Kanaya will be there first thing tomorrow morning.”


	4. He's not my boyfriend! feat. Dick jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dave's friends want to see Dave's "boyfriend" John and some dick jokes happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many new characters enter the fray

True to her word, Rose is sitting at a nearby table with her girlfriend, Kanaya. Both of them are idly chatting and every so often either Rose, Kanaya, or both of them will look over in your direction. Sometimes they'll even smirk. You choose to ignore them and take care of a few customers that stopped by, and you're surprised to see Tavros, Karkat, Terezi, Roxy, and Dirk in the line.

“Guys? What are you all doing here?” You raise an eyebrow at them. Usually, they don't stop here often. Sometimes Roxy will come, and the others will occasionally stop by, but they almost never come, and especially not all together. You wonder why they're all here. Did something happen? You hope nothing bad, but since they don't look melancholy, it's probably something good. Maybe they're asking you to go out with them and do something? 

“We got a text from Rose saying that you had finally gotten a boyfriend. Congrats, bro.” Dirk smirks at you and idly looks at the menu as he pulls out his wallet and hums deep in his throat. “Also, can I have a pumpkin spice latte?”

You look at him in disbelief and just say “Oh my god. Fucking Rose," you send a glare to the person in particular and she stifles a giggle, "and her fucking ways. He's not my boyfriend, dude, just some guy I talk to in the mornings when he comes here. Anyway, sure man.” You start making his latte and after a few minutes, hand it to him while he pays you. Next in line is Tavros, and he doesn't look like he knows about John. There isn't a smug look on his face, for one thing, and he seems pretty much neutral, Thank god..

“Uh, can I have a cinnamon dolce latte with caramel drizzle?” He pays you before you even start preparing his drink because he was smart enough to take out his money while he was waiting in line, and you eventually give him his coffee.

“Hey Strider. Give me a cafe mocha with a pump of chocolate. Also, good job for getting a fucking boyfriend. Finally. Now maybe you won't have to be so lonely at your shitty apartment with Bro, weeping in a small corner and hugging a teddy bear, or probably even your brother.” Karkat narrows his eyes but after a second, he gives a small "pff" and flashes his teeth in a grin.

“Wow, fuck you douche. I was completely fine before I met John, and he's not my fucking boyfriend. Haha you don't even have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, Karkat.” You turn around to make his coffee and when you turn around to give it to him, a middle finger greets you.

“Fuck you and it's not like I need a girlfriend!” He pays you and grumbles the entire way to the table where the others are at. You notice that they chose the table right next to Rose's, and all of them are either talking with each other or Rose. Karkat is talking with Kanaya.

“Heeeeeeeyyyyy coolkid!” Terezi grins at you and takes your attention away from the others. “Good job catchin' one, big guy! I knew you could do it if you just tried! Now, I'd like a very berry hibiscus Starbucks refresher, please. And no lazin around, get to it!” She cackles as you turn around to make her drink. You hand her the fruit juice mix and she takes a sip. “Mmmmm! It's perfect. Thank you, Dave.” She pays you and goes over to annoy Karkat as you look at Roxy.

“Ayyyyye man! Did ya make sure to catch yourself a cutie? I can't wait to seem 'im.” She slaps you lightly on the arm and gives you a thumbs up. “Hmmmm...Can I have a strawberries and crème frappuccino? Oh, oh, and make sure to put extra whipped cream on it. You know just what mama likes.” She smiles at you and gets out her fashionable glittery pink wallet as you make the final drink. Hallelujah. You hand it over to her and let out a big sigh as she pays you. “And now, we wait.” She winks and goes to sit next to Dirk.

Finally, after about six minutes or so, the door jingles as John steps in, smiling and going over to the counter. You see the others turn their heads to see John and when they do, they grin widely and smugly, exchanging looks and then looking back at John with anticipation. You really hope John doesn't notice them all watching him. That's be awkward for not only you, but him as well. Hell, it'd probably be awkward for all the parties involved.

“Sup Dave. Guess what? Since the teacher was grading in alphabetical order, I got my test scores back! I got an 89%. Not bad, right?” He smiles at you and you return the smile and fistbump him. You knew he'd get a good score. He's pretty smart, from what you've seen, and you'll bet that he probably gets a ton of good grades. Good for him.

“Niiiice dude. I wonder what I got. Probably nothin' too bad. The test wasn't too hard, so I probably got a 91% or somethin'. I won't know until later, though, since my last name starts with an S and not one of the earlier letters of the alphabet. You're lucky your last name starts with an E, John, and not one of the later letters.” 

“Well that sucks! But I bet you got a pretty good score dude. Pfff wouldn't it be funny if you failed though?” He tries to stifle his giggles a bit, but to no avail. You glare at him because hey, grades are a serious matter.

“Wow John. Why must you hurt me in this way.” You put your hand to your heart and frown at him. He laughs at this and he lightly smacks you on the arm. Wow, rude. 

“Anyway, can I have a skinny peppermint mocha with two pumps of caramel syrup? I've been craving a bit of peppermint, so hehe...” You imagine him sucking on a candy cane and- haha you're not gonna think about this anymore. Just get back to work, Dave. Stop thinking about how candy canes are erotic and how John should definitely have one. He watches as you go make his coffee and delicately add two pumps of caramel, and you can feel your friends watching John. Are they judging him? You turn around and set the drink on the counter and John pays you. He sits down at his normal table and you half-expect at least one of your friends to go up to him, but they stay their distance, thank god. Not even a half a minute had passed from whenever John sat down that Rose walked over to John. You spoke too soon. 

“Hello, John. I am Dave's sister, Rose. It is nice to meet you.” She sticks out her hand, expecting him to shake it. You wonder why Rose is doing this, and acting like it's a formal meeting. Shaking hands? That's not normally things strangers do, and especially not right out of the blue. Come on, Rose, you should know this.

“Um, hi? He looks over at you for an explanation and you shake your head. Just go along with it, John, she's basically harmless, save for her psychoanalyzing and vast knowledge. “It's, uh, nice to meet you too?” He shakes her hand and sips at his coffee awkwardly, and you feel sad for him.

You go over to his table before Rose can say anything more and stand next to the seat Rose is in. “Rose, please don't bother John. Plus, he's got to go in a few minutes so that he can go to his classes. He doesn't need you messing with him, okay?” You then lean near Rose's ear and whisper, “He's not my fucking boyfriend, stop.” 

Her painted black lips turn down as she ignores you and looks back over to John. “So John, how are you with Dave? How did you two meet?" She smiles innocently enough, like she's just striking up a casual conversation about the weather or something. At least she's not bringing up anything about boyfriends. You really don't want her or your friends to scare John away.

“He's my friend,” he explains, “and I met him because he works the morning shift here. I usually get coffee in the morning to wake me up and because it tastes good, and just about every time I came in the morning, Dave was always here, so I eventually started talking to him while I was drinking my coffee and yeah, we became friends.” He gives her a wide smile and takes a large drink from his coffee.

“I see. And how long has this been going on?” She raises an eyebrow at him and adjusts herself in her seat, smoothing down her skirt and adjusting her blouse with a smile still on her lips. 

“Uh, a couple months or so? Why? Are you, like, protective of him or something? Because I'm not stalking him or anything, I swear." He puts his hands up in a defensive manner, and gives her a wary look. After a second, he slowly and cautiously puts his hands down and sips his coffee.

“Oh, I believe that you are not stalking my brother, and he would have noticed if you were. However, I just wanted to ask if you are both more than-” You slap your hand over her mouth and her eyes widen and then she glares at you. John gives you an odd look, but him thinking that you're a bit odd is okay, as long as he doesn't get asked about anything boyfriend-related.

“Hahaha my sister sure is something, isn't she.” You awkwardly laugh and she pries your hand off of your mouth delicately with her purple nails, glaring daggers at you. Yeah, she's so going to get revenge for this.

“Dave, if you do that again, I will rip your dick off.” John looks at her in surprise and you just look at her with an indifferent expression. You're used to all of this. 

“Chill, sis. All I did was prevent you from finishing your sentence.” You pat her shoulder and she smacks your hand harshly. You wince and pull your hand back quickly, the sting hurting more than you expected it would.

“Also, without a dick, you can't jerk off anymore. How would that feel, David?” She gives you a grin and you narrow your eyes at her. She's going way too far, and she really needs to stop.

John sits there awkwardly, sipping at his coffee and giving you both an uncertain look. “Well, Rose, not being able to jerk off would be rather unfortunate...” He looks down at the floor as though he's sad, but then you see an evil grin form on his face. “Wouldn't it, Dave?” Why the fuck is John taking her side?! You blush a bit but since it's a minor blush, you're certain no one can see it. Fuck you too, John. Two can play this game.

“Well of course, John. Not being able to choke the chicken would be most terrifying. The absolute worst.” You look him in the eye and put your pokerface on. “Like, not being able to tug on the meatstick? How could I live without it. My schlong needs to be with me. It's my wife, John. We're so attached; both literally and emotionally.” 

John laughs at your words. “Is your 100% beef slab that needy, though? Do you need to jack 'n jerk it all day everyday?” The bastard is smirking. It feels like this has become a competition for who can say the most terms for dick, but you're not a five year old. However, you can't resist making dick jokes.

"Says you, who probably orgasms two minutes after starting and locks himself up in his room all day." John covers his mouth with hands with wide eyes and you snap your mouth shut. That was a dumb thing to say. Why did you say that? Heat of the moment, probably. Rose looks over at you with a raised eyebrow and you slump a bit in your seat because wow, you're so stupid. 

John uncovers his mouth with his hands and he isn't smirking anymore. Shit. "Wow, rude. I bet you cum in your pants after palming yourself once." His face is sorta red, and you really weren't expecting that. How do you respond? Before you can say anything, he's getting up out of his chair and walking outside, clutching his coffee and blushing as he leaves out the door. There's a pregnant pause before Rose gets up and pats your shoulder. 

“Dave, I like him. You chose well.” Rose smirks at you and then looks over at the others, who are walking towards you.

“Dayum you chose a cutie with a booty, Davey! And his humor is fuckin' grade A. You go tap dat, boi.” Roxy slings her arm around your neck and pulls you closer to her as she winks at you. 

“I gotta agree with Roxy on this one. He's got a choice ass and he seems nice enough. Good job, dude.” Dirk gives you a thumbs up and a pat on the back.

“He sounds good enough, Dave! Hehehe you got a good catch. He's a keeper. From what the others are saying, this guy must be a total hunk.” Terezi grins at you and cackles as she hugs you.

“Eh, he's okay. Nothing that special about him.” Karkat grunts, sitting down in the chair next to you. You take offense to that, because John is fucking great, but at least he's not being embarrassing.

Tavros doesn't really say anything, and you silently thank him for that.


	5. Prospit clan, here we stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade decides to go visit Dave and brings some of John's friends along for the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. It's John's POV in case you didn't notice.  
> By the way, I was told that I got some aspects of college incorrect, and I am so so sorry! I don't know much about colleges and stuff so if I get shit wrong I'm terribly sorry ;n; I'll do my best though.

“Apparently, I met his sister.” You casually chat with Jade. She looks at you with concentration.

“Hmmmm....Well then why doesn't he meet *your* sister? I'd love to meet this little crush of yours!” Jade squeals and gets out her phone, ready to send a message to someone.

“Crush? Dude what the fuck. He's just my friend oh my god. Jade *why* would you think I have a crush on him?” You make a disgusted face at your sister as she starts eagerly texting.

“Becauuuuusssse. You're always like, 'wow his apron is so dumb haha it looks far too baggy on him', but why would you notice something like that, hm, John? Are you checking him out? And of course, you're always like, 'Dave was so nice to me this morning bluh bluh and he's actually a good friend although it's sad that I don't get to see him more bluuuh'. Like, you'll get to see him more if y'all DATE.” She huffs and continues texting whoever the fuck.

“Jade, I only made friends with him because I usually see him in the morning. I assure you I have no crush on Da-” You're interrupted as Jade sits upright and pats your shoulder. 

“I just texted Jake, Vriska, and Jane. We'll be wanting to meet Dave.” She gave you a giant grin as she hugged you. “Think of it like a meeting. I mean, you met Dave's friends, so he should meet us. It's like meeting the parents heh.”

You groan at her an throw a pillow at her. She giggles as the pillow hits her and throws it back at you twice as hard. You wince at how hard she threw it, because you weren't expecting that, but your sister is full of surprises.

“Jade why.” You almost pout at her and she gives you a stern look in reply.

“Johnathan Egbert. You have a crush, and all of us want to meet him; maybe get you guys to get together.” She waggles her finger at you like a mother scolding her child and picks up the pillow again. She then proceeds to repeatedly smack your arm with it and whispers, “The power of love compels youuuuu!”

“First of all, Jade, my full name is not Johnathan. Dad may be professional and all, but my full actual name is John and you know that. Second, stop hitting me with the pillow, christ! Third, the power of love DOES NOT compel me because just because Dave is nice and isn't an ugly piece of shit doesn't mean I love him!” You lightly smack the pillow out of her hands and it falls to the floor with a light thump.

“John calm down. If you didn't have a crush on him, then why are so worried that we'll embarrass you in front of him?” Jade raises her eyebrows at you and gives you a look. 

“Uhhh because I don't want you guys to make fools of yourselves in front of one of my friends that doesn't know any of you, duh.” You fold your arms and look at her.

She gives you an annoyed look and rolls her eyes. “Brother, you suck at lying, just so you know. I hope your crush is as great as you say he is!” She smiles lightly and flops over on your bed. “Now stop being in denial you big baby and play video games with me.”

 

Jade tugs on your arm and you both enter the coffee shop, with Jake, Vriska, and Jane following behind you. Dave looks over at you and you can't see his expression behind his shades, but he's probably raising his eyebrows. You awkwardly smile as Jade lets go of your arm and walks up to the counter.

“Hello, Dave.” She grins at Dave and he tilts his head a bit in confusion.

“Hello miss. Welcome to Starbucks. May I ask how you know my name?” He stands upright and looks at her.

“Hehehe I'm John's sister, Jade! I've heard an awful lot about you, and thought that I should come say hi. I also brought a long John's cousins and his friend, Vriska.” She gestures over to you and your little entourage and you wave.

“Oh, nice. Sup Jade.” He gives you a small wave back, although it looks like he's waving to Jade. Maybe he is and you're just thinking it's for you. You walk up next to Jade and push her a bit to the side. She growls at you lowly.

“Hey, Dave. I see you've met Jade now-” You don't even get through two sentences before Vriska is quietly shoving you away and leans against the counter. You glare at her.

“Heeeeeeeello. You must be this 'Dave guy' we hear a lot about. So, John says you two aren't a thing. Is that true?” She grins so widely that her sharp teeth show and she leans in a bit.

“A thing? As in like, dating? Nah we're just bros. Are you his girlfriend that wants to know if he's cheating on you?” He puts his right hand on his hip and looks at her as she chuckles at him.

“Oh wow. So THIS guy is the one? He's such a douche! John, you should choose better. And Dave, I'm his ex, but we're still friends because it doesn't really matter if we dated once. It was a high school fling meh. Both of us were a bit hurt but hey, sometimes life kicks ya in the ass, and you just have to kick back harder!” She cackles at him and you blush a bit and push her away. Thankfully, Jane and Jake are standing behind you, but they're just talking to themselves and looking over at Dave every so often. 

“Hahahahahaha- don't trust Vriska. Anyway, can I have a vanilla latte?” You let out a strained laugh and he turns round to make your coffee.

“He's super tall and damn he looks good. You may have chose a fucking dick but dang.” Vriska whispers in your ear smirks against your skin and you grow even redder, if that's possible. You stare a bit at Dave as he makes your coffee and once he turns around, you quickly flit your gaze upwards. You really did not need any of this nonsense today.

“Thanks dude. By the way, Vriska was just joking man haha...” you pay him and give him a quick wave before you abscond out of the Starbucks in embarrassment.

“You guys whyyyy.” He groans at his friends and puts his face in his hands, letting out a long, low groan. “You guys have done it. I'm dead from embarrassment. Way to go you fucks.”

“Oh John, come on!” Jake slings his arm around you and Jane walks up to you both and separates you from Jake, leading you over away from your friends.

“John. I have a legitimate question. No teasing, no nothing. Do you truly have feelings for Dave? It's always good to confess and keeping your feeling inside can be painful sometimes.” Jane looks at you, and her seriousness looks genuine. However, she IS a prankster...

“...Promise me you're not pranking me? And that you won't tell the others or Dave? And you better put both hands up. No twisting your fingers behind your back.” You look at her warily as she puts both her hands up and nods. “...Well, I do think Dave is pretty funny...And he's actually sort of cute. I mean, his blonde hair looks all feathery and he's tall and lanky, but not in a bad way, you know what I mean? It would be nice to learn more about him...But what if he doesn't like me back? It would be stupid to be rejected. I'd look like such a loser! And it might harm our friendship...” You look down at your feet and then back up at Jane. She nods at your words.

“I understand. Maybe I could go undercover and see if he harbors feelings for you? I can say something like... 'I am John's cousin, and for all purposes of his safety, I would like to know if you like him. You can be truthful with me' and then give him a stern look. Or, maybe I can try to set up something like a date for the both of you. Sort of like a dinner, perhaps? But he won't know it's a date. Maybe the arcade? Just say that you want to become better friends with him.” Jane looks at you and smiles. Her offer sounds..tempting.

“Maybe I'll give it a shot...” You suck in some air through your teeth and stand up straighter. Jane pats you back.

“Hoo hoo, that's the spirit!” She grins at you and directs you back over to your friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Vriska you were a dick. Also, thank you Jane.


	6. To the arcade?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John asks Dave to go to the arcade with him and some jokes happen.

You walk into the Starbucks, carrying a flyer that's clutched to your chest. Dave notices you walking in and lazily gives you a wave and a grin.

“What up man?” He raises his fist for a fistbump, and you probably shouldn't leave him hanging. You give him the fistbump he wanted and lay the flyer on the counter. He raises an eyebrow and picks it up. “What's this dude?” He reads the flyer and scans it over a few times. “A flyer for the new arcade place?” You nod at him.

“Yeah. I thought that maybe we could go? My friends said that they might be there, but that they'd be doing their on things and stuff so I figured that maybe you'd like to join me? It'll be fun, man.” You smile at him and lean against the counter, hoping your cheeks aren't too flushed. You can see a light dusting of red over his freckles, and you wonder if it just his skin or if he's really blushing.

“Sure, man. I'm free tomorrow so we can go then.” He hands you back the flyer and gives you a warm smile. 

“Awesome!” Your cheeriness is interrupted by the sound of your stomach growling and you suddenly remember the other reason you came in here. You were so excited to show Dave the flyer and invite him to the arcade that you didn't east as much breakfast. Dave raises an eyebrow at you and looks at your stomach.

“Damn that thing sure can grumble.” He lets out a low whistle and chuckles as you groan in embarrassment. 

“Well I barely ate any breakfast this morning, okay? Which reminds me, can I have two morning buns?” You start to take out your wallet, when Dave starts laughing. You look up from your wallet and give him a questioning look. “What's so funny?”

He turns around and wiggles his ass a bit. “Sure, you can have two morning buns.” He gives you a wink and a sly smirk, and your face heats up quickly. 

“Oh my god no dude I did not mean that.” You shove your face into your hands in embarrassment and his laughing grows louder and rings through your ears. “Holy fuck Dave.”

“My morning buns are so fucking plush and shapely.” He snickers again- will he ever fucking stop laughing? Then he whispers, “Would you like some sausage to go with your morning buns?” 

You quietly screech into your hands and lean against the counter. “Hooooly shit. No. I just want my fucking breakfast. You're so embarrassing you dork. You're lucky no other customers are here.” You take your face out from your hands and dig around in your wallet. You unceremoniously shove the cash at him and when he tries to stifle a chuckle, you grumble, “Shut up, you dick.”

He gives you two buns and you quietly eat them on the table closest to the counter while flipping him off. 

“Hey John, if we're relating the buns to a butt, and you're eating the buns, would you be considered 'eating ass?'” He smugly smirks at you as you out down your food and stand up, walking over to the counter and slapping on the arm. “Ahahaha ow you asshole.” He continues snickering even though you slapped him.

“That didn't even hurt you, you douche.” You huff at him and then go back and continue eating your breakfast. 

“Yeah, you're right, it didn't. And what if I had been a masochist?” His grin becomes impossibly wider. You are so completely done. You quickly finish up before throwing away the garbage and start to leave. 

“Babe no I can change. Please.” He frowns at you and you grin right back at him.

“No can do. Plus, my classes are actually starting soon, so I gotta leave. See you tomorrow for our hangout.” You almost said date. Shit. What else do people usually call those anyway? Hangouts? Meet-ups? Get-togethers??? Fuck if you know.

“Yeah, sure. See ya then John.” You wave as you leave the Starbucks and sigh to yourself. 

 

You are now Dave Strider and you have a “date” with John Egbert. This should be interesting, especially after your little stunt this morning. Hey, you found the opportunity and took it. You seized the opportunity and called it your bitch. You own that opportunity. Also, technically, some of John's friends were going to the arcade as well. 

You're in your classes now, wondering what's in your closet like some chick going to her senior prom. Well, John's never really seen you in anything other than your Starbucks uniform, so of course you'd want him to see the best of what your closet had to offer. Well, not the formal shit. Just like some casual jeans and a t-shirt or some shit. 

“Hey Rose, I'm going to the new arcade tonight.” This catches her interest and she looks over at you, then she realizes that you'd never go to the arcade alone like a complete fucking loser.

“Wait...Are you going with John?” This woman is a fucking mind-reader, damn.

“Well, John invited me since some of his friends were going with him as well. Maybe I could bring some of my friends so that it doesn't seem like a friendless loser or something. Karkat and Tavros, maybe. Those two need to get out more.

“Mm, agreed,” she nods, “but I'm rather pleasantly surprised to see that John invited you.” She smiles at you and you can see what she's implying.

“Well, I'm his friend so of course he'd invite me over to go play a few games with him and his friends.” You explain, making sure to remind her that this is NOT a fucking date. Besides, it's just to the arcade! Not like some sort of goddamn restaurant and it's not like you two will be alone.

She nods like she understands, but you know she still firmly believes that this is John's way of arranging something at least similar to a date. You give her a look that says, “Don't you even fucking dare think that this is a date”, even with your shades on. She grins at you and you both look down at your worksheets to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bun thing was actually accidental. I thought that one small bun couldn't possibly fill a person up, so I thought maybe two would work, and then I saw my mistake, thus the booty jokes were made.
> 
> P.S. School is about to start and it might take me longer to update. Sorry!


	7. Yes, to the arcade!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave meet up with John's friends (and Karkat+Tavros) at an arcade! It's with friends so TOTALLY not a date...hehe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW the chapter title is a continuation of chapter 6's title "to the arcade?" in which, yes, it confirms that they're going to the arcade.

You slip on some black jeans, a white-t-shirt, and a dark red bolero. Your bolero has a red gear on the back and your t-shirt has your classic broken record symbol on it. Your bro ironed it on the shirt whenever you got it. You also lace up your red high-tops and walk out the door, preparing to go to the arcade with John. You'd already texted Karkat and Tavros, and they both agreed to go. Karkat took some more work to convince, but hey, at least they're going.

\------------------

You close the door on your way out and head over to the arcade you said you'd meet John at.

You are now John Egbert and you've managed to slip on a black Ghostbusters t-shirt with some blue jeans and your yellow converse. You know, just casual stuff. The kind of stuff you'd wear to an arcade or to go out for a walk. You check your phone for any texts or messages from Vriska, Jade, Jane, or Jake, and surprisingly you only have one. It's from Vriska.

arachnidsGrip started pestering ectoBiologist at 14:45  
AG: Heeeeeeeey John! I'm gonna 8e at the arcade 8y three. You 8etter 8e there or I'm going to 8e soooooooo mad, you hear me?

You click off your phone and head out the door. It's already three, damn. Vriska's going to be so pissed.

\------------------------

You enter the arcade, all swagger and irony. You look around and spot Vriska playing some fighter game and Jade, who's trying to get a dog plushie in a Claw machine. Oh, hey, look. Karkat's here too, playing against Vriska and growling obscenities at her. You see the other two people from two days ago playing air hockey. You never got their names, but you suspect that they're friends with John. Where's Tavros? Oh, he's at a different claw machine, trying to get a bull fairy plushie. 

Jade seems like a nice enough choice, and the others all seem busy, so you walk over to her. Apparently, she doesn't see you in her concentration to get the dog plushie. As she fails again, she growls, but then notices you. She smiles at you with raised eyebrows and leans against the claw machine.

“Dave! I didn't expect to see you here. Is it coincidence or did...Did John invite you?” She gives you a full on buck-toothed grin like she knows and you lean against the wall next to the claw machine, almost matching her pose.

“John invited me to come game with you guys.” You say with a straight face as you adjust your pose against the wall.

“Hehehe I *knew* it! Well, welcome to the arcade, I guess. I'm not sure where John is, but I bet you two can have some fun once he gets here.” She gives you a wink and you raise your eyebrows at her.

“Don't think I can't see your dirty intentions behind that wink. "Why the fuck did everyone think you two were dating? 

She winks again at your words and suddenly, you both see the door to the arcade open, and John walks into the arcade sporting a dumb Ghostbusters t-shirt. Haha that dork. He spots you and grins as he walks over to you and Jade.

“Hey Dave! I see you're friends with Jade now. Ha, what if you guys, like, dated?” He looks between you and Jade.

“Hey Dave, would you date me?” She slyly grins up at you. This must be a trick.

“Well, I mean, sure. If I got to know you enough, maybe. But I mean, we barely know each other and I'd need your parent's blessing and John's blessing since your brother and all...” You start to ramble. Maybe she'll lose interest and change topics.

“Hmmmm well I guess you're lucky that I won't be dating you! Not because you're bad or ugly or anything, I just mean, you must have a girlfriend or a boyfriend or something.” Yep, you knew this was a trick. She doesn't even sound like she's trying to cover up that it's a trick. Maybe she doesn't care if you know that it's one or not.

“Nah, I'm single and ready to mingle. Doesn't mean the ladies and gents aren't drooling all over me, trying to get at my plush ass though.” You see john's eyebrows rise ever so slightly, and Jade giggles.

“Yeah right, Dave. But you know, I bet at least *one* person wants ya.” She quickly flits her gaze to John, but then back to you. “Well now, you children go scamper along. I'm gonna try to get that dog plushie!” She excitedly points to a white dog plushie in the Claw machine. You wonder whether or not to help her, but she seems set on it, so you go try to find a game to play with John. 

Eventually, you both are in a racing game, and you're beating John by a few seconds. He sticks his tongue out every so often without knowing it and nibbles on his lip in concentration. After a few minutes of playing the game, you pass the finish line in first place and he glares at you.

“Goddammit! I actually wanted to win. Fair game, I suppose. No sense in whining like a pissbaby.” He gets out of the seat and goes over to play pac-man. You follow him and play on the machine next to his.

After four games of pac-man, you both quit, and decide to rally up all of our friends to go get pizza at the snack counter. You manage to find Tavros hugging a bull fairy plushie and Karkat playing a spaceship game. You drag them both to the snack counter where you see John with Vriska, Jade, and the other two. 

You sit next to John and you all something. All of you except for the one girl with oval glasses gets pizza. The oval glasses girl gets a pretzel and a vanilla milkshake. You get some apple juice to go with your pizza, John gets coke, Jade gets berry juice, Vriska gets coke, Tavros get a chocolate milkshake, Karkat gets coke, and the other guy gets coke as well.

You're all sipping on your respective drinks and eating when all of a sudden, oval glasses girl walks over to you. Thankfully, everyone else just spares you both a glance then goes back to talking.

“Hello there, Dave. I'm John's cousin, Jane. I thought you might like to know my name and who I am before hanging out with me.” She chuckles and sits on the other side of you, sipping her milkshake. “The guy with the rectangle glasses similar to john with green eyes is John's other cousin, Jake. He's rather adventurous- or so he thinks.” She grins at you and tries to stifle a full on laugh. “Me? I'm a sleuth detective as well as a top-notch prankster. So you better watch your back.” She winks and takes another drink of her milkshake as she returns back to her seat next to Jake.

You check your phone and see that about an hour has passed. Eh, you don't mind. 

You finish your pizza and apple juice and throw your trash away. Apparently John had finished a while ago and was now talking to Vriska. Every so often they'd look over at you. You bet they're talking about you.

You slide up to them both and say, “Heeeeeeyyyyyy.” John flinches just a bit and Vriska scowls at whoever interrupted her, but when she sees that it's you, she evilly grins.

“Dave, how niiiiiiiice of you to be here. See, I was just talking to our buddy John, and I think you both should go into the photobooth.” She grins eerily, and you know this is another trap.

“Nah I'm good. I know this is another trap.” You lean against the table and poke her arm.

“EXCUSE me?! It is NOT a trap! Me and Jade, then Jane and Jake, were gonna go in the photobooth too but after you guys took yours. Three pairs! We just wanted you guys to go in first to get your pics taken, damn. Can I not be polite for once without people thinking I'm tricking them???” She snarls as she angrily takes another sip of her coke. 

“Alright alright, fine.” You roll your eyes and agree to do it before she fucking spits coke in someone's eye or harms someone. You quickly walk over to the photobooth and John follows behind you. You both slip into the booth, and the black curtain works as a door next to you. That is until you feel something giant and solid smash against the photobooth and shuts out all light except the one for taking pictures with. John looks a bit worried, but not too much- at least not the point of heavy breathing, screaming, or crying. Fuck you knew it was a trick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh sHIT IT'S A CLIFFHANGER! Next chapter's gonna be a part two and nah it's not as dramatic as it seems. It's really fuckin stupid, that's what it is.


	8. Picture Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave are stuck in the photobooth! They might as well take the pictures while they're in there.

John is sitting next to you, looking rather worried. He's breathing a bit heavily and- fuck you hope he's not about to panic. You try patting his shoulder and his breath hitches before it goes back to the way it was before. Eventually, after about two minutes, he calms down considerably. 

You slump back in your seat. “Okay, so I guess we just shouldn't talk. We shouldn't get dehydrated if we don't talk. We're bound to be let out at some point.”

“No, no, we can still talk! I brought my soda with me.” He lifts up a giant cup of soda so that you can see it and then sets it back down. “It wouldn't be fun if we just sat here in complete silence anyway.”

“Mmm, well it's good that you brought soda and yeah, you're right. Hey, I have an idea. Maybe if we just take the pictures, we'll be set free. It's a possibility, right?” You sit up straighter and lean over to press the start button. It gives you both a few seconds to adjust into position. “We're going to make the most ironic, dorky poses ever, got it?” 

He nods at you and gives you a giant grin as he sticks his tongue out and makes a peace sign with his fingers, winking at the camera. You make a v with your fingers and stick your tongue in between them, making sure to wrap an arm around John's neck and rest your hand on his shoulder. The camera clicks and gives you a few seconds to reposition yourselves.

For the second picture, lifts up a bit of his shirt and you make it look like you're “making it rain” on him. He winks over at the camera and bites his lower lip, sucking it partly into his mouth (shit that shouldn't be as good looking as it is). The camera clicks again and you both scramble for you're next position.

This time, John's making it look like he's “making it rain” on you and it looks like you're taking off your bolero, lifting your shirt up to show your toned-but-with-just-a-smidgen-of-flab-because-you-eat-junk-food stomach. You make sure not to show your nipples. You smirk at the camera as it goes off and you put your shirt down and your bolero back into position.

For the last picture, you're wondering what to do, when suddenly, John leans over close to you and you faintly feel lips on your cheek as the camera goes off. Your face heats up and you look the other way. John does the same. 

“I wonder how the pictures turned out.” You try to clear the awkward air of silence, but it's too late for that. It's passed from awkward to embarrassing. So embarrassing, in fact, that the crowd isn't even angry, they just pity you and look at you in disappointment. The crowd shakes their heads, tsking at you and slumping their shoulders. 

You take the pictures from where the machine spit them out and give them a look. “Hey, uh, John? May I ask why you kissed me?” You raise an eyebrow over at him. The kiss was...well, you weren't expecting it. It wasn't unpleasant! Quite the contrary, actually. His lips are slightly chapped, and you make a mental note to tease him about getting Chapstick, even though your lips are almost always chapped. 

“Well, you know how most couples go in photobooths and take pictures of each other being all lovey dovey? I was trying to sort of mimic and make fun of that. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable!” He frowns and looks at the pictures in your hands.

“Nah dude it's fine. It's not like you slapped me or something it was a cheek kiss.” You resist the urge to tell him that he can kiss you any time he wants. “It's not the end of the world, bro. We can even pretend it never happened if you don't want to make things awkward.”

“Okay. Aaaaanyway, some of these pictures turned out cool! Hehe the first is sort of the normal type of dorky, and the other ones are...” He laughs and clutches the pictures to his chest while he does so. You smile at him and he eventually stops laughing and leans against the side of the photobooth. 

“Hmmmm, well taking the pictures didn't set us free. Is the arcade being robbed or something? Welp, if the robber decides to kill us or whatever, then I guess this is goodbye.” You frown at him, completely acting. You know that he knows that you're acting.

“Dave-” John tries to speak to you but you're not having any of that shit.

“It was nice knowing you as a fucking great friend and shit and it shouldn't have to come to this. We were supposed to grow old together. We're entrenched in this bitch called friendship, John. It's too early to leave it.” You clutch your hand to your chest and squeeze the fabric of your shirt and (partly) your bolero into your palms. 

“Pfff Dave please. We're not going to die. Now just you hold on.” He knocks on the solid thing blocking the door a pushes a bit, after a second, the solid object rolls away or something and the light from the arcade filters into the photobooth. “See! Now we can continue playing games and stuff. We're freeeee!” He turns around and Vriska walks over to him, and then looks at you. 

“Soooooooo, how did your pictures turn out?” She gives you an evil grin and puts her hand on her hip. You have the feeling she thought you and John were making out or something.

“Awesome. Want to see them?” You pull out the picture roll and fold the fourth one so she can't see it, then hand the pictures to her. 

“...Hm. Well these are good pictures, I must admit. You guys were makin it rain?” Her smile returns full force as she gives you back your pictures.

“Hell yeah,” you and John both answered in unison, with matching smirks. You both look at each other afterward, and your grins grow wider, realizing that, yes, you guys just synced up. Y'all might as well be the fuckin' twins from the Shining. 

She gives you both a laugh and returns her pictures, looking over at John and raising a single eyebrow, while narrowing her eyes slightly. He barely shakes his head and Vriska frowns at him, her eyes narrowing more into almost a full on death glare. 

“Well, me and Tavros have decided to go into the photobooth next.” She starts to sashay away, but you grab her arm in a flash. “What the fuck do you want?” She turns around after ripping your hand off of her arm and glaring at you while raising an eyebrow.

“Tavros? I thought you were going with Jade.” You look over to the side to see Tavros shifting from foot to foot.

“Wellllllll, I decided that this little nerd will take pictures with me. I'll take some with Jade in a minute, but for now, little Tav is goin' in the booth with me.” She grins over at Tavros and drags him over into the photobooth. You pity him, the poor guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuckin' dorks.


	9. Yes, to the arcade! + Picture Perfect (John's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's POV of chapter 7 (and part of chapter 8) whenever he's talkin' with Vriska.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this took so long. Homework and making up new AUs has taken up my time lately ::::(
> 
> Warning: Vriska's a bitch and might say an offensive thing or two because yeah she's like that. Maybe a little bit less mean because she's trying to help out John? But still.
> 
> The line after John calms down is a time-skip. Y'all have read chapter 8 so ya know what goes down. Then, we get to see John's POV of the kiss (ooooh~)

"Psssssssst." You hear someone...hissing at you? Maybe they're just breathing really hard through clenched teeth. "PSSSSSSSST!" You raise your eyebrows in surprise and turn around to Vriska waving you over to the seat next to her. Well, guess you better see what she wants. you get up from your seat, still clutching your Coke and pizza, and walk over to the seat next to Vriska. 

"John. I just had a briiiiiiiiliant idea!" She devilishly grins, and you don't trust the look on her face, but you decide to listen to what she has to say. Since you have pizza stuffed into your mouth, you motion for her to continue on and explain whatever the plan is. "See that photobooth over there?" She points to a photobooth that's sitting a few meters away from you and you nod, swallowing the lump of pizza you held in your mouth. "Well, if you and Dave go in there, and I block the door, then you two can be alone in there together! You can do whatever you want like confess, hang out,  _kiss_..." She winks at you and your face heats up a bit as you set down your soda.

"Vriska, I keep telling you that I  **don't** have a crush on Dave." You look over at Dave and see him talking to Jane. You start to wonder what Jane could be saying, but then relax when you remember that she wouldn't tell Dave anything embarrassing. "I am  _not_ going to have you lock us in a photobooth! What if Dave gets scared or worried? While that may be funny to see, I'm not gonna let you do that." You give her a stern look and fold your arms. 

"Oh pleeeeeeeease, John! Come on, why don't you stop being a fucking wuss for once and just ask him out! I've heard you mumbling in class about Dave, John. I've got a bit of bad eyesight in my right eye, but I'm not  **deaf** , for Christ's sake!" she glares at you and pokes her chest with her sharp, cerulean nail. Fuck. You didn't think anyone would hear...Does that mean Jade heard too and that's why she's trying so hard? "Listen here. We're going to get you your fucking guy, got it? It's gonna be happily ever fucking after. And yes, I do mean happily ever  _fucking_ after." She cackles and it takes you a second to get what she meant by that but your face flushes even more. "Now John, I'll make sure you two go in there, okay? And you better have confessed, got it?"

You're unsure about this plan but...Maybe it could work. Just as you're thinking and Vriska's murmuring about the plan, Dave suddenly slides in front of both of you. You flinch slightly and Vriska turns towards Dave and scowls at him, but the scowl breaks out into a knowing smirk.

 

“Heeeeeeyyyyyy.” He smiles at you both and straightens his position. You wonder why he decided to say hi now of all times. Did he know you guys were talking about him or something? Maybe he's psychic. 

 _"If you're reading my thoughts, cough once."_ You think inside your head, trying to clear your thoughts of anything bad, and when Dave doesn't cough, you relax.

“Dave, how niiiiiiiice of you to be here. See, I was just talking to our buddy John, and I think you both should go into the photobooth.” She looks at him and awaits his response. 

“Nah I'm good. I know this is another trap.” He leans against the table and pokes her arm as shifts his gaze from Vriska to you, then back to Vriska. _Fuck._

“EXCUSE me?! It is NOT a trap! Me and Jade, then Jane and Jake, were gonna go in the photobooth too but after you guys took yours. Three pairs! We just wanted you guys to go in first to get your pics taken, damn. Can I not be polite for once without people thinking I'm tricking them???” She growls at him and takes a drink of her coke. You know she's acting, though. 

“Alright alright, fine.” He walks over to the photobooth and you scamper along after him, still holding your Coke in your right hand. You slip into into the photobooth behind him. After a few seconds after you went into the photobooth, something solid and heavy lands against the door, blocking it and starting the plan. You start to reconsider it, and start to heavily breath as you sit down. He tries to pat your arm, but your breath hitches. Nonono Dave what the fuck. After a few minutes, you're back to feeling okay. Maybe...You won't confess to him right now or even today and that's fine.

\-----------------------

 

On the last photo, you decide to be brave. You can do this, John...You can even play it off if he seems awkward or doesn't like it! Once he starts to pose, you peck him on the cheek and the camera goes off. Your cheeks are inflamed to the point where you're sure you look like a cherry. You turn away after the kiss and look at the wall. Fuck, you hope you didn't fuck up... There's a heavy silence in the air as you both register what you just did.

“I wonder how the pictures turned out.” He tries to break the silence and you silently thank him. He takes the pictures out of the machine and you look over at him, you're face still red, but not the brighter color of red it was a few seconds ago. “Hey, uh, John? May I ask why you kissed me?” He raises an eyebrow at you. Fuuuuck. Okay, John. You can still save this. You gotta be smooth and suave.  _  
_

“Well, you know how most couples go in photobooths and take pictures of each other being all lovey dovey? I was trying to sort of mimic and make fun of that. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable!” You frown at the pictures he's holding. Nailed it.

“Nah dude it's fine. It's not like you slapped me or something it was a cheek kiss.” You internally sigh in relief and thank whatever deities are out there. “It's not the end of the world, bro. We can even pretend it never happened if you don't want to make things awkward.” He mumbles about somethign while he holds the pictures and you snatch them from him. 

“Okay. Aaaaanyway, some of these pictures turned out cool! Hehe the first is sort of the normal type of dorky, and the other ones are...” You laugh at loud and clutch the pictures to your chest because holy  _shit_ the pictures look better and funnier than you expected. Dave gives you a smile that you can see out of the corner of your eye and you ease off your laughing, just contempt with leaning against the wall and smiling cheerfully. 

“Hmmmm, well taking the pictures didn't set us free. Is the arcade being robbed or something? Welp, if the robber decides to kill us or whatever, then I guess this is goodbye.” He looks somber as he looks over at you. you know that he's acting though; he always was a good actor. You wonder why he never started acting.

“Dave-” You try to continue the scene dramatically like he's doing, but it looks like he's not having any of that.

“It was nice knowing you as a fucking great friend and shit and it shouldn't have to come to this. We were supposed to grow old together. We're entrenched in this bitch called friendship, John. It's too early to leave it.” He clutches his heart and it bunches up the white fabric under his palm. 

“Pfff Dave please. We're not going to die. Now just you hold on.” You knock on the solid object blocking the door in hopes that Vriska is out there and is able to remove the solid object from the door. After a few seconds, the object is pushed away and the dim light from the arcade floods into the photobooth.  “See! Now we can continue playing games and stuff. We're freeeee!”

You turn around and Vriska walks up to you both. Oh great, you never confessed. Vriska's gonna be  _pissed._   **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did John's POV then to show y'all that the photobooth thing was set up by Vriska and (partly) John.


	10. Congratulations, John Egbert and Dave Strider! Level up!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it looks like it's time for everyone to either go home or stay on the arcade and- whoa whoa whoa what's this???

It's the end of the night and you're absolutely schooling John in DDR. You're nimbler than him and you're able to hit all the notes correctly while John flubs up a bit. He's letting out small puffs of air and concentrating on the screen so hard, while Jade, Vriska, Jane, and Jake cheer him on. After a minute, the screen flashes "PLAYER 1 WINS. CONGRATULATIONS." as you smirk at it and turn your head over to John, he's frowning at the machine. Don't be a sour sport, John.

"Well, way to go, Dave. Looks like you really showed your dancing skills well. Dancing quuuuuueeen, only seventeeeeen~" He gives you a grin and nudges you with his elbow. You understand where he's getting at and laugh at him. You check your phone and see that it's about 7 pm and you've been playing games for far longer than you should have. You sit down in a nearby seat and smile at the way John tries to play DDR again, but with Jade. Jade's doing a bit better than him, to be honest. Her score's higher by at least thirty points and you have a feeling she's going to win. You prepare to comfort John for whenever he loses. 

Yep, you were correct. He did indeed lose the game with Jade. He's glaring at her while she does some sort of "in your face" gloating dance or something. She's jumping up and down and pointing at John. You get up from your seat and pat life on the back. "Don't worry, John. Life can be a cruel son of a bitch." He leans a bit into your arm and goes back over to his seat, where he takes a sip of coke and checks his phone.

"Damn, 7 pm already? Do any of you guys want to go home yet?" John raises an eyebrow at the crowd of his friends. Jade and Jake shake their heads no, Vriska shrugs, and Jane nods just the slightest bit. Aw she was actually a nice gal. Maybe you could have became her friends or something. He lets out a quiet sigh and nods. "Alright then, I'm going to stay here for a few minutes longer and then maybe we can all go home. i'm sure we have more important things to do anyway, right?"

He goes over to a few gaming areas and you both play a few games together for about another half an hour, and sometimes he leans against you. You all exit the arcade at 7:37 pm and Jane says farewell to you all because she has something to do at her household. Jade and Vriska look at both of you and then look at each other, smiling widely.

"Hey Dave, I'm gonna teach Tavros to play video games better and stay at the arcade, got it?" Vriska shows off her sharp teeth in a grin and links arms with Tavros. He looks partly scared. You hope he'll be alright. You nod at her and Tavros and look over at Jade as she starts to talk.

"I'm going to stay with these two and Karkat because I'm with Vriska- your friends suck at games!" She sticks out her tongue at Karkat, who flips her off and gives her a pointed glare and snarl.

"Look here, bitch. I  **DO NOT** suck at games. Some of these rely on luck! Plus, it's not my fault that you all have no lives and have probably been practicing these games for all of your goddamn life." He grits his teeth and Jade giggles at him.

"Well look here, at least you'll get to spend more time with me! I know you said i was intolerable, but I know you don't hate me, Karkat! With my help, we can unfreeze your icy heart." She smiles at him and pats his shoulder as he glares at her and swats her hand off of his shoulder. You have a feeling these two will get along just fine. 

"I'm going to go home, I'm afraid, chums. I should probably rearrange my room or what not. So many things to do, so little time!" Jake gives you all a buck-toothed grin and salutes as he walks to his car.

"Okay, well I guess I'll just go home. Dave, you're going home too, right?" You nod at him and point over to your red car. "Alright then. Well, it was nice hanging out with you, Dave." He offers you a fistbump and you don't leave him hanging. He smiles at you and lets his hand drop back down to his side. " I hope we can do this again when you have time!" Why does he have to make it sound like it's a date? Well...Maybe it's because this  _almost sorta_ was one. If this was a cliche movie, either you or him would confess your love in his or your car and make out under the stars. 

...That's not going to happen. Why are you thinking about it? You aren't. Those thoughts have never went through your fucking head. You've never thought of the way John nibbles on his bottom lip when he gets nervous or scared. You never imagine his body framing your lanky figure. No, none of these thought have ever occurred ever, why would you think that? 

"Oh, Dave, your car is like, three spaces away from my car! Wow, what a coincidence." You can tell he's lying but say nothing. "Well, bye Jade, bye Vriska! Oh, and of course bye Karkat and Tavros." He waves and then starts walking to his car. You follow close behind since, like John said, his car isn't far away from yours.

You both stop next to your car. "So Dave, it was super cool hanging out with you. Heh, it's nice to see you have fun- especially when it's having fun with me." He smiles and closes his eyes as he laughs and you just...You would really like to make your earlier thoughts come true. You'll try your hardest not to kiss his giggles away and be the suave ass you are. 

"I had fun too, John. It would be nice if would could do this again like the bestest of friends. Friends so tight it'd be like we're stuck together like glue, like we decided to fuck and instead of lube we used gorilla glue. So close, dude." Shit.

He awkwardly laughs and shoves your arm as he grins with his big, goofy teeth. "Wow, what a great way to describe friendship: with buttfucking." 

"Well of course, dude. It was the perfect example. I just  _had_ to use it. Besides, how funny would it be if two people actually fucked and used glue instead of lube by accident?" You snicker and raise your eyebrows at him because you hoest to go want to know his answer.

"Well, funny for other people, but not for the ones fucking! They'd have to go to a hospital or something while being stark naked and everyone would have to see their boobs and/or dicks. Uh, I guess it depends on who's fucking. The doctors would probably laugh at them." His face looks like one of disgust and he wrinkles his nose, thinking about it. However, after a second, he tries to hold in a laugh.

"Well then here's a bit of advice: Don't use lube while you're fucking, okay? And remember to be safe. Don't be silly, wrap your willy." You pat him on the shoulder in a fatherly manner, and though your pokerface is firmly in place, you want so badly to smirk at him.

"Wha- Dave! What the fuck!" He shoves your arm while laughing and leans against your car, while poking at you. "Shouldn't  _I_ be saying that to  _you_ , Mr. 'I get all the chicks I'm so cool everybody slobbers over me'?" He raises his eyebrows at you and you know what, you might just take the opportunity... Fuck it. You're doing this, you're making it happen.

"If everybody 'slobbers over me' then why aren't you kneeling on your knees for me? You did say  _everybody_ , John." Fuck, you hope you didn't mess that up. What if he catches on that you're flirting with him? Maybe he'll stop coming to Starbucks. Well, that'd be okay. You'd just move on... No, it's not as simple as that. You have your heart set on this fuckin' nerd. It's like cupid pierced your heart with an arrow and said "Deal with it you douchey fuck. There's no way you're going to be able to take it out."

"W-WHAT?! DAVE, OH MY GOD." He splutters at you and his face turns bright red as he looks at you. Fuck fuck fuck, you fucked up. Okay, okay you can still save this... You just gotta be suave, and make this look like it was all a funny joke and NOT you flirting with him.

"It was a joke, John... You know how many jokes I make and shit. I have the gift of irony and humor." You awkwardly laugh and attempt to touch his shoulder in a comforting gesture, but his body is still tense. Great, you've ruined it. John won't want to be your friend anymore. He's probably the type of guy that stammers out "No homo", isn't he? 

"Well, that was a good joke but I mean..." He looks like he's thinking over a decision for a few seconds as he fidgets and twiddles his fingers, his face still flushed, then makes his decision and lowers himself down to his knees and snickers. "This better?"

Oh god. John is on his fucking knees and shit, your mind is thinking some naughty thoughts right now. Quick, you have to think of a way to get him back to standing, because this is awkward as hell. "As wonderful as it is seeing you underneath me, won't the road ruin your jeans?" You are so thankful that it's dark outside because damn you're lighting up like Rudolph's nose. It's fuckin' Christmas up in here.

"Oh...I guess so." He gets up and leans against you car again in a lazy manner. "...Will a hug suffice?" You nod at him and he circles his arms around you in an embrace and you card your fingers through his hair and wow he didn't even bother to gel it for the night and it feels nice under your fingers. Fluffy and soft, like a blanket, and you find yourself almost near petting his head. He squeezes you tighter and shoves his face into your neck, his face just barely coming into contact with the fabric of your red bolero, which must be comfy, no doubt. You can feel his breath on your neck and your own breath hitches because wow it's warm.  _He's_ warm. 

"Hey, John..." He hums as he feels the vibrations of you speaking due to him resting his head in the crook of your head. "Is this a platonic hug or... Because it sure doesn't feel like it. Not that I'm complainin', I'm just askin'." He nuzzles more into your neck as he thinks over a response.

Lifting, his face out of your neck and after a minute's pause, he replies, "...It does feel quite romantic, doesn't it? Well, uh, Dave, I sort of have something to confess..." He stops hugging you and you raise an eyebrow at him because holy fuck is he doing what you think he's doing?

"For a long time now, I've...sort of had a crush on you, and I mean, with all the flirting you do, do you like me back? We already sorta feel like boyfriends, just without the whole kissing thing and intimate stuff. We're the best of bros, and we have been for the past four months or so. Ever since met you at Starbucks and we'd talk every morning. Heh, thanks for that, by the way. appreciate you keeping me company in the morning, and it always makes my morning better when you're around and-" You cut him off with a kiss on his lips and his face is the temperature of a fuckin' oven. Well, it's not like yours isn't. You try to deepen the kiss by wrapping your arms around him and he does the same, burying his hands in your hair and breathing out slowly through his nose. You don't try to deepen the kiss, but it happens anyway, and John parts his lips just a tad. When you both part, he leans against you, and his hair tickles your lips.

"Did that answer your question?" You raise an eyebrow down at him. He nods against your neck and you can feel his smile against your skin. This makes you so happy that you can finally just...kiss him. Hug him. Touch him. You've wanted to for so long. "You know, I've had a giiiiant crush on you too, and you're just so charming and humorous, and just awesome. You're so adorable too, with your buck teeth and pretty eyes and messy hair. It would be so fuckin' rad if I was your boyfriend, so yes, of course I like you too." He goes back to nuzzling in your neck, and he squeals at that, kissing all over your neck.

He pulls away from you and pecks you on the cheek before speaking. "Um, well, it's not great to be standing around in a parking lot, so I should get home... B-but I'm glad you want to be my boyfriend just like I want to be yours. I.. love you, Dave." You nod in agreement with him. 

"I love you too, John." He hugs you again, and it lasts a minute. You know that he's glowering with happiness. He can't bring himself to leave, even if he has to. You don't want to leave, either, but you probably should get going as well, and anyone could see the both of you hugging in the parking lot, so it's slightly awkward.

"Hey, you got a phone number or a pesterchum?" You at least want to be able to keep in contact with him now that you two are boyfriends. Plus, you haven't asked him before, even though you should have. You probably just forgot or something. Things slip your mind all the time. 

"Ah, yeah I have both." He takes out a pen and a scrap of paper and quickly scribbles something down on it with a blue pen before handing the scrap of paper over to you. "Well, I have to get going. I'll see ya!" He salutes and gives you a wave goodbye as he walks over to his car.

You look down at the scrap of paper and it reads:

xxx-xxx-xxxx ectoBiologist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyYYYYYYEEEEE THERE'S THE KISSES. Don' worry, the story doesn't end here. It continues on, trust me.  
> P.S. The xxx-xxx-xxxxx number is John's actual number. He didn't write just Xs. I didn't want to write a number, even a fake one, so I did that.


	11. Say hello to Pesterchum!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stupid filler chapter. Dave chats to John and Rose while he does his algebra homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not making a chapter sooner. I've been busy with school, and I might be only able to update every weekend or so. Sorry!

The next day, since it's Sunday, you decide to busy yourself with homework, with small breaks every few seconds to check something online or scribble something for your webcomic. You sigh as you realize that algebra just isn't doing it for you right now. You glance over at the scrap of paper with blue scribbles on it. Those scribbles being John's number and pesterchum. Well, you might as well try to hit him up on persterchum.

You open up pesterchum and sign in, and it shows Rose as being online, and so is Tavros, for some reason. Hm, that's odd. Usually he's playing Pokemon. Maybe he beat it. You make a mental note to ask him if he beat the game or not later.

You type in the name ectoBiologist and click on the name, opening up a separate chat window.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]  at 14:34

TG: john hey john its me

TG: wait that doesnt specify anything shit

TG: its dave

TG: like you know the one from the starbucks that went to the arcade with you yesterday

TG: like the one who is totally fucking awesome and nobody else says otherwise

EB: wow hi mr. ego

EB: or should I say mr. “the one from starbucks that went with me to the arcade yesterday”?

TG: the second one most definitely

EB: pffff wow dave.

EB: er, i mean mr. the one from starbucks that went with me to the arcade yesterday.

TG: yep thats my legal name but you may also refer to me by my nickname dave

TG: its a lot more casual and easier to write on papers and shit

EB: well it would seem so! so anyway, why'd you message me today?

TG: wow can i not just message you to talk to you

EB: i didn't mean it like that! i just meant that usually theres a reason why people start up a conversation with someone else.

TG: i know john

TG: i was just pullin your leg

TG: but i was just in my room doing homework and shit

TG: when i got hella bored so i was all like

TG: why dont we hit up john and see what hes up to

TG: so i decided to talk to you on pesterchum and i mean youre probably having more fun than i am right now

TG: algebra wow so much fun am i right

EB: oh i see! and wow you only decided to talk to me because you were bored. thanks a lot.

TG: now i know youre pulling my leg

TG: just like i did a second ago

EB: give this man a trophy. he figured out the obvious.

TG: do i actually get a trophy though

TG: like next time you see me you can give me a little fake trophy with a sticker that reads

TG: this trophy was awarded to dave strider for figuring out the obvious

EB: maybe i will! it depends though, since i don't really want to go get a fake trophy to be honest.

TG: wait am i actually going to get a trophy

TG: can i get one that says sexiest man alive

TG: or like

TG: worlds best kisser or something

EB: haha! well, you'd have to earn that last one!

TG: oh my god john

EB: what? like you so weren't thinking that whenever you typed it come on.

TG: okay so maybe i was but shut up

EB: heh see i knew it. maybe another day, though, because i'm doing my science homework.

TG: alright then

TG: besides im doing my algebra and if i dont turn this in by tomorrow the teachers going to yell at me

TG: all like

TG: mr strider you shouldnt forget your assignments how dare you blah blah blah

TG: shell keep screaming and screaming going on about the same damn things just in different words

TG: like a fuckin broken record that continues day after day

TG: spinning and spinning so much you get a major headache

TG: and that major headache causes you to have bad performance at your job

TG: and then that gets you fired

EB: alright, dave, we get it.

TG: and then you mope around and become a dysfunctional alcoholi

TG: oh okay

EB: now i really must go, because this science homework is kicking my ass!

TG: alright then ill see you and your ass later

EB: oh my god that sounds so dirty dave!

TG: wink

EB: pffff you dork! anyway, i'll see you tomorrow at starbucks. bye!

TG: later dude

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

Leaning back in your desk chair, you exit the chat window, returning to your algebra homework. You weren't kidding when you said that teacher would bust your ass if you didn't finish this by tomorrow. Number twenty stares back at you as you read it, trying to figure it out. Just as you finish showing your work, a ding chimes from your computer.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:16

TT: Hello dearest brother of mine. How was the arcade?

Oh fuck it's her.

TG: not too shabby

TG: we all played a few games and ate pizza and shit

TG: maybe next time ill let you join us

TG: if you can behave yourself that is

TT: Of course I would behave. I'd act only the best, I swear.

TG: yeah sure ill believe that in a million years

TT: You will? Then I'll make sure that when we're dead in the afterlife in a million years that you'll keep your promise.

TG: rose please

TG: ive got to finish my algebra then go work on my ill beats

TG: what did you want from me

TT: I only merely wanted to know how the arcade went. However, if you are truly working diligently on your algebra homework, then I shall leave you alone. I understand the complications of homework and how quickly teachers would like us to finish it. Goodbye then, and I do hope you'll tell me more details about the arcade tomorrow.

TG: whatever rose

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

Goddammit Rose why. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how long it took me to learn how to format all of that and then actually formatting it.


	12. Give the details~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade demands that John tell her what happened the night of the arcade (That is set on Sunday morning) and Dave struggles with work (Set on Monday morning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I was busy this weekend.

You are now JOHN EGBERT and it is Sunday morning. The sun is streaming through your window, but not like you can see it very well anyway, since you currently have your sister on top of you. “Nghhh.” You attempt to hit her with a pillow to no avail. “Jaaaade what do you waaaaant?” She shakes your shoulders harshly and you groan.

 

“Whenever I came home last night, you seemed veeeery happy. Details?” She leans in closer to you and you whine and push her face away. She splutters and pulls your blankets off of you and your eyes shoot open, snatching back your blankets and covering yourself.

 

“Jade, I'm in my boxers, what the fuck?!” She smirks and you glare at her. Don't be making those smug faces, young lady. “No, I'm not going to give you details. I was just happy that was able to go out and have fun with my friends, that's all.”

 

“That's all? But you seemed suuuper happy last night, and it must not have been JUST because of the arcade. Did you get your dick sucked or something?” Now it's YOUR turn to splutter, as your face flushes red. You HAD been on your knees last night, after all... But nothing like that happened! ~~Sadly.~~

 

“Jade, no! Why would you even think that oh god.” You shake your head and throw a pillow at her, which she catches.

 

“Because I mean, y'know, don't guys get really happy after they have sex or whatever?” You give her a look and she grins. “Hey hey not like I would know from experience, just saying.” You decide whether or not to give her the details of what happened last night. She would really like to know...

 

“If I tell you what happened, what will you do for me in return?” She puts a finger to her chin and taps it lightly as she thinks. The cogs in her head must really be turning. Suddenly, her face lights up, and she looks back over to you.

 

“I'll do your tricky math homework for two days! I know how much you hate math.” She gives you a sly smirk, because she knows you'll say yes.

 

“Ehhhhh alright fine. I'll tell you. BUT, you have to promise not to tell anyone else.” You would rather not have everyone know about you and Dave, thank you very much.

 

“It makes it sound like you had sex but whatever.” She mutters out something and, although she doesn't think you heard, you so did. Bad Jade, worst sister. Your mind is in the gutter, isn't it? Dirty, dirty.

 

“What was that?” Her eyes widen as she realizes that you heard her and she softly laughs and looks away, ready to deny that no, she did not in fact say anything. You can already see it coming, it's so predictable.

 

“Nothing, nothing, I said nothing.” There it is. There's the inevitable denial. Oh Jade.

 

“Oh really? Because it sounded to me like you said I might have gotten sex...” You smirk at her and she looks at you with confusion. Oh my god, did she actually think you had sex with Dave or _anyone_?! “....Oh my god. Jade, it was a joke. There was no sex, you dope.” She giggles at you and pats your shoulder.

 

“One day, John. Just you wait.” She winks your way and you get her gist. “I wonder if you're going to be a dom or a sub...? Anyway! Tell me what happened!” You, again, heard that first part. Damn you, Jade. ~~Sadly, you also knew what those meant and OF COURSE you're a dom pfff why wouldn't you be?~~

 

“Well...Uh, me and Dave sort of...” She looks at you expectantly with wide eyes. “We...got together, alright?” She cheers and hugs you, giving you a noogie. Okay wow, that sort of hurts, Jade.

 

“I knew it! Did you confess, or him? I said details, John, not a fuckin' summary!” Goddammit, Jade, please. No mooore. You've already given her what happened.

 

“Okay, okay, jeez! Just get off me. I told Dave I had a good time...And I said 'ha mr. you get all the chicks and they slobber all over you' or something like that, and he was like, 'then why aren't _you_ on your knees?' and I just... knelt down and got on my knees and he said 'okay just get up it's gonna ruin your jeans with how they're on the parking lot' and so we hugged and he was all like, 'this hug isn't platonic, is it?' so I...confessed, and right in the middle of me saying the confession and stuff, waiting for his answer and talking about it- he kissed me! And I, y'know, kissed him back because...yeah. Then he asked if I had a phone number or a pesterchum, so I gave them to him. There, are you happy? Have I sated the beast?” She squeals and smiles at your story, giving you another hug and shove in the shoulder.

 

“That's so great, John! By the way, why didn't you just confess by sucking his dick while you were on your knees? I mean hey, it's bold, right?” Your face grows impossibly more red and you slap her in the shoulder. “Hey! It was a joke!” Even as she was yelling at you, she was laughing.

 

\-----------

 

Oh joy of joys. It's Monday again. For you, Monday is a day of true work. You are DAVE STRIDER and you wish you weren't serving forty year old business men with their suits and dress pants. No, you wish you were at home, drawing, or- heck, even just working here _not on a Monday._

 

However, when you hear the door chime for the thousandth time this morning and see gelled black hair, your heart lights up and you smile the slightest bit. At least he's here, even if you two can't talk this morning. It's nice just to have his presence here. Even if there are a bunch of crusty old guys around that are rushing out the door as soon as they get their coffee and trying to get to work on time.

 

After about four more business guys, John is at the counter, giving you a bright smile and a wave. Dear god he's the calm after the storm- er, well, technically the storm is still going on, but whatever. The point is, it's so nice to see him after so much stress. “Oh my god, hi John. You don't know how happy I am to see you here. So many business men...” You cringe and then look at the line behind him. It's getting a bit slower since rush hour is over.

 

“Hehehe! Can you not take the business men, Dave? Much politics, so serious.” He waggles his eyebrows at you and you shove his arm over as he laughs. He just fucking used a meme. Wow. "Anyway, I can see that people are waiting in line behind me, so can I have a vanilla latte with extra whipped cream?” He hands you the money and you go to work making his latte. After a few minutes, you hand it to him and smile as he walks away. However, that happiness is short-lived as the line continues on. Uuuuugh why do Monday mornings have to be so fucking stressful? 

 


	13. So...What are *you* doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and the others make plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR 2 WEEKS. I couldn't think of what to write and was sort of busy. This chapter isn't even this good, I'm sorry. The real romace doesn't come in later because a perfect romance doesn't just spark in a few days. You gotta give 'em a while. This is also where the minor ships come in (Jadekat and Tavros/Vriska. Not Rosemary though). P.S. I am turning this into a high school au (in which school starts at like, 8 or 9). I figure that if I can't write colleges, that I might be able to write high schools. HOWEVER, I don't know much about HIGH SCHOOLS either, so I'm sorry, okay.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 15:02

TG: yo karkat hows it goin

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT, DAVE? I AM BUSY AT THE MOMENT.

TG: busy doing what

TG: you have like

TG: no life lets be real

TG: do ya have a test or something or are ya doin hw

CG: NO, NONE OF THOSE THINGS. BUT LET ME GUESS, THIS FUCKING RED TEXT WILL CONTINUE TO HARM MY EYES AND ANNOY ME FOREVER UNLESS I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS I'M BUSY DOING.

TG: you are correct

TG: so spill the beans already would ya

TG: im practically on the edge of my seat in suspense

TG: its not nice to leave a lady waiting karkat

CG: JADE INVITED ME OVER TO PLAY SOME LAZER TAG WITH HER AND I'M GETTING READY, THAT'S ALL. NOTHING TO GET YOUR BULGE IN A TWIST OVER.

TG: youre gonna go see jade

TG: is anyone else going

CG: MAYBE VRISKA, AND I KNOW FOR CERTAIN JADE'S COUSIN, JAKE, IS COMING. THAT'S ALL I KNOW SO FAR.

TG: oh thats cool

CG: SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE DOING TONIGHT, SINCE THE TEACHERS GAVE NO HOMEWORK?

TG: well I mean ill probably hang out by myself and spin some sweet tunes or see if any of my other friends are doing anything

CG: WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. NOW I REALLY MUST GO, DAVE. SEE YOU LATER, FUCKER.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:14

 

You spin around in your chair, thinking over possible things you could do. The beats, you were dead serious about. Getting on your turntables is always relaxing and entertaining. Being on the turntables makes you feel at home, and the bass and instruments vibrate in the core of your being, numbing you just enough to get you into the zone, where you can freely make music.

 

Of course, when you made music, most people enjoyed it. Your bro let you make a track or two for his DJing gigs, and he says they turned out to be pretty good hits with the crowd. You've been to a few of Bro's gigs. They're...interesting. The music really gets you going, but some of the drunken club-goers ruin it for you. Still, it's pretty cool, especially when you to go up into the DJ booth to say hi to Bro.

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering adiosToredor [AT] at 15:16

TG: tav do you have plans

AT: uH, i ACTUALLY DO,

TG: what are these plans

You suspect that he's going to the lazer tag place, same as Karkat. However, it could be one of his animal rescue groups asking for help and he has to leave to go and assist them. 

AT: vRISKA INVITED ME TO LAZER TAG, aND WHILE SHE IS A BIT MEAN, iT MIGHT BE FUN,

TG: oh well thats nice for you

TG: karkat is apparently going too so I hope yall have fun

AT: oH, uH, wILL DO,

AT: yOU WANNA JOIN US?

TG: nah ill stay at home or see what john or rose are up to

TG: you guys go have fun on your double date or whatever this is

AT: iT'S NOT A DOUBLE DATE, dUDE,

TG: sure it isnt

TG: anyway I hope you have a good time

TG: see ya

AT: bYE,

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering adiosToredor [AT] at 15:21

Well shit. Everyone else is out having fun and you're here being the odd one out. The elephant in the room, you may say, although you aren't in the same room as them, clearly. 

Oh well, it looks like you might be mixing beats today, which is chill. Let's see, only Rose and John are online now. Where's Terezi, Dirk, and Roxy? Maybe they're busy. Time to pester Rose and see what she's up too. Maybe she's hanging out with Kanaya. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:23

TG: rose

TG: rose get on

TG: I want to ask if you have plans

TT: If I have plans?

TG: yes didnt you just read my message come on rose

TT: No need to be rude, Dave. Yes, I do indeed have plans.

TG: are they of the lazer tag variety

TT: Not at all, no. What would give you that idea?

TG: tavros and karkat are going to a lazer tag place with vriska and jade

TT: Ah, I see. Well anyway, my plans are to watch a movie with Kanaya. She took one of Karkat's romantic comedies that she wishes to watch and brought it over to my house.

TG: oh well then yall have fun watching his shitty rom com

TG: see ya later im gonna go pester john

TT: Oh? You have his pesterchum now?

TG: yeah I do

TT: Well that's great! It's nice to see you two becoming even better friends.

TG: yeah

TG: well bye

TT: Farewell.

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:29

Everyone's going on dates and then there's you. Well, you still have one more person to pester and they can't possibly be going on a date tonight unless... 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:30

TG: yo john

EB: hi dave! what's up?

TG: just wanted to see what youre doing tonight

EB: wow, dave, are you asking me on a date?

TG: well I mean maybe

TG: I was just asking if you had plans

TG: everyone else had plans and I was like

TG: gee I wonder what johns doing

TG: maybe we can do something together

EB: oh yeah, vriska said she would be going out to lazer tag with jake, karkat, jade, and tavros.

EB: you wanna maybe join them?

TG: oh

TG: well that might be fun

TG: we could totally beat them right john

EB: hell yeah, dude! we'll shoot them all down.

TG: thats the spirit

TG: alright sure we can go too

TG: and hey I have a question

EB: yeah?

TG: do you think that this is like a three way date or is it just me

TG: like karkat and jade

TG: tavros and vriska

TG: and of course me and you

EB: oh, I never thought of it like that but I can see how it would seem like it.

TG: okay good its not just me

TG: anyway ill see you there

EB: okay, ill go tell the others! you go tell karkat and tavros, okay?

TG: yeah I think theyre leaving soon

TG: either that or karkats getting ready early

TG: anyway see ya

EB: bye!

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lazer tag rules.


	14. Welcome To the Obligatory Lazer Tag Chapter/Scene (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L-L-L-LAZER TAG! But first, some official orders of business with one Vriska Serket...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, I forgot to say that the trolls are all humans in this fic. I guess I assumed that you guys would know that. If you didn't then tada! Now you know. i used the common headcanon that Vriska has blonde hair with blue highlights/streaks. I'm not sure what Karkat will look like, Tavros has a light brown mohawk and really tan skin, Terezi has red/ginger hair, and Kanaya has dark brown hair. Dave has white hair (Though you can imagine as light blonde if ya want. I like the idea of him being albino though), Dirk and the Lalondes have light blonde hair, but Roxy has some pink streaks in her hair. John and Jane have black hair, and Jade and Jake have dark brown hair. These are all my headcanons for this story, but imagine them as you wish! Also, is that hinted Dirkjake there? I smell it... Should I make it a thing?

You stride into the lazer tag building, not really being able to see much with your shades on, but still seeing all the neon lights at every corner and the walls people hid behind so they could shoot the people coming around the corners. Oh, how you missed playing lazer tag. The last time you played it was in eighth grade, with Bro, Dirk, and Roxy. Roxy and Dirk would always cheat, but you wouldn't tell anyone, and besides, they were on your team anyway so your team got more points.

Back to the present, you can see Karkat and Jade chatting near the door. Jade is rockin' it with her black tank top and shorts. This girl knows how to play the game right. You look down at your own attire, which is a black t-shirt and black jeans. You know how it's done. Wearing black makes you less likely to be seen. Jake walks through the door and yep. He's wearing black too. Damn, those shorts are short. You can't help but stare...No, bad Dave. Well, it's not your fault you can spot a plush rump, even in bad lighting.

...You could bounce a quarter off of that ass. Hey wait, didn't Dirk say something about knowing a boy with dark brown hair, glasses, a cowlick and booty-shorts? You are suddenly suspicious.

Anyway, then there's Karkat. He's wearing a dark gray t-shirt with sleeves that go down to mid-arm and black jeans. Well, he's fine. At least he didn't wear anything too bright.

You sneak your way over to Karkat and slide behind him. The only indication that Jade sees you is the light smile on her face and two quick blinks. You're thankful that she's going along with the prank, despite not being in on it at all. You lean in close to Karkat's ear, holding your breath, and then huskily whisper, “Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

Karkat flinches, letting out a combination of a snarl and a yelp, and spins around to face you. “Dave, what the actual _FUCK_? Why would you just _WALTZ_ up to me and whisper straight into my fucking ear? And not even something, clever, no. A stupid fucking _MEME_! Are you bullshitting me right now? Are you for real? Tell me right now, Dave. So help me, you dick-munching squirrel penis.” Wow, did _someone_ wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

...Nah. You know why he's so angry. Lately, you'll always walk up to him and whisper, “Shrek is love, Shrek is life” and he's probably sick and damn tired of it, but it's just so fun to see him get worked up and spew insults at you as mentally lists all the ways to kill you in his head.

“Yeah, I'm for real. Shrek's the lord and savior, man. Didn't you know? And wow, 'squirrel penis'? Creative new insult, dude. Is it supposed to mean that I'm small? Or maybe that my _dick_  is small? 'Cause c'mon dude, that's stooping low. So low, in fact, that you're sucking my supposedly small dick. Oh wait, you're already small enough to do that.” You give him a smirk as he gapes as you and his face slowly grows more enraged. Jade giggles at you two quarreling and high-fives you quietly, so that Karkat can't see her doing it.

Karkat growls at you, giving you the middle finger and punching you in the arm. Jade giggles and leans against Karkat's shoulder.

“Ohhhh Karkat. Don't get so worked up over a joke! Dave's just trying to mess with you, you big doofus.” Jade pokes his shoulder and pats his back, giving him a wide smile.

“No, but Jade, you don't understand. This douchebag has been doing this to me for like, a month now. I am so fucking done.” His voice is gravelly as he glares at you and tries to explain his anger to Jade, and she narrows her eyes slightly.

“Now you look here, mister. We will **not** be pure balls of rage over such a simple nuisance. Besides, there are some people here who might not want to listen to you scream to the high heavens, got it? We are in a public place, and you need to remember that! Got it?” She scolds him between her teeth, her voice hissing just a bit so she keeps her voice down. “Now, everyone, I believe Vriska is around her somewhere. I'm going to go look for her and, as punishment, you two are coming with me.”

You open your mouth to protest, since you want to wait for John, but she raises her eyebrows at your defiance as if to say, “No, you're coming. No ifs ands or buts”, so you close your mouth without a word and follow her. As you're walking, you pull out your phone and send a quick text to John.

“hey john jade wanted karkat and I to follow her and look for vriska sorry I cant meet up with you at the entrance but ill see you after we find vriska ok”

You slip your phone back into your back pocket and continue to look around for Vriska. Soon enough, you spot the familiar dirty blonde hair out of the corner of your eye and whistle at Jade and Karkat to come over. All three of you walk over to Vriska and before you guys can approach her, she notices you guys and waves. She's wearing a black tank top with a white spiderweb on it and ripped blue jeans.

“Heeeeeeeey guys! You guys ready to lose in lazer tag?” She grins and places her hand on her hip in a sassy manner.

You, of course, shake your head no and mock her stance as you put your hand on hips and jut them to one side. “Of course not, Vriska. Like I'd let someone like you defeat me.” She narrows her eyes and purses her blue lips, shifting her stance.

“Tch. You talk big, but I bet you're just a looooooooser, Dave. Let's face it.” she jabs a finger at your chest and ohhhh it is ON. You nonchalantly smack her hand away from your chest and give her a low chuckle.

“Ohhh just you wait. Strider speed is hard to beat, darlin'. I'd like to see you try.” Her grin grows impossibly wider and her teeth shine in the light above her.

“Challenge accepted, dickwad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so fun writing Karkat (And Dave) you don't even know. Such snark, much burn.


	15. Game Commencing in 3, 2...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, with the feud between Dave and Vriska, the game begins! What an exhilarating time this will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I RETURN FROM THE GRAVE! I am most truly sorry for that longer-than-a-month hiatus! I was just in no mood to write this scene, and was quite busy with schoolwork and other things. Also, you know all of the chapters before this? Yeaaaaahhh... Well, I'm going to be editing them because some parts are written sorta poorly. With each new chapter I post, I will mention the chapters I have edited in that time period. I hope my writing has improved this chapter, though I know I could do far better.

Everyone is staring at their screens, deciding what teams they'll be on. Eventually, the decisions are made and you check to see who's on your team and who you're up against. John is on your team (of course), Jade and Tavros are on the other team, Jane is on your team, Karkat's on the other, Jake is with you, and Vriska "Spiderbitch" Serket is on the other.

Vriska may have Jade, but you have Jake. It evens out, since their both good with guns, apparently. John made sure to tell you about their love for guns one morning while he was at Starbucks. Anyway, Tavros isn't that great at lazer tag, so you have an advantage. Good, good...

Oh, Vriska is _so_ going down. Down down down like a guy falling out of an airplane, thinking that his parachute is perfectly fine, but in reality, when he goes to open it, it fails and he's left screaming as he falls like an anvil, fearfully awaiting death. That bitch won't know what hit her until it's too late. 

You grab your laser gun and John taps your shoulder lightly. You turn to your left to see what be wants, and you're greeted with his large, buck-toothed grin and a cheery thumb up. He mouths "good luck!" And then turns back to pick up his gun. He fiddles with the trigger while he waits for the entrance to open so the game can begin. A feminine, robotic voice emits from speakers in the ceiling and you ready your stance. "Positions ready. The entrance will open in 3...2..." The doors slowly part, revealing the playing field with it's smoky fog, dim lighting, and neon colored lightbulbs scattered around different areas.

"Hey DORK Strider! Your ass is mine! Prepare to be defeated." You hear Vriska shout at you and she flips you the middle finger with a smug smile of confidence. Damn, she's quite something, a'int she? Thankfully, you have a comeback.

"Huh, that sentence about asses is funny, 'cause that's what I said to your mom last night." You start running towards your team's side of the field where the home base is so that the game to begin. However, it seems like Vriska always has the have the last word. She tsks and you can feel her glare burning holes in your back.

"Wow, stooping to mom jokes? How old are you, twelve?!" She hisses, her voice spitting, as she starts sprinting to her team's side and you know that this isn't some petty battle. This is war.

  
Once you reach your base, you feel a hand on your shoulder. John turns you so that you're facing him and he just shakes his head no. Confused, you open up your mouth to ask what the hell that's all about, but he beats you to it and decides to tell you.

  
"Dude, that mom joke was so lame. I'm pretty sure it hurt me both mentally and physically." He pats your shoulder comfortingly and you let out a sigh, because it's true, that comeback was far from your best.

  
"Yeah, I know. I just had to make one up on the spot, that's all. My mind didn't have time to think up a better one." You clutch your gun closer to your chest because the game will be starting in a minute, and John chuckles, patting you on the back and readying his gun.

  
"Game commencing...Are you ready?" The robotic voice returns, and an alarm goes off, signaling the beginning of the game. John aims his gun from the top if the base and shoots at Karkat, who was trying to be brave and get into our base quickly. What a fool. Jane runs out of the base, down the slope, and into the battlefield. You see her hiding behind a wall, but you also notice Tavros sneaking up near the wall she's hiding behind, unbeknownst to her. Quickly, you shoot him, and he backs away from Jane, looking at his chest-piece, which started blinking, signaling that he lost a point.

  
"Dave, heads up!" Jake screams in the distance and you duck, the lazer just brushing by your hair. You can't feel the lazer, since it's just light, but you could tell where it was. In your peripheral vision, you see Jake fire at whoever was trying to shoot you. Looking down, you faintly manage to catch a glimpse of long, black hair. So it was Jade, huh? Girl's got a good aim, you'll admit.

  
"Thanks for havin' my back, man." You give Jake a curt nod and he smiles your way. He aims his laser gun at you and fires it, giving you a wink. Jeez, what a nerd.

  
"No problem, chum! After all, we're on the same team!" He goes back to surveying the area below the base, and manages to shoot Tavros, who decided to come back and try again, despite the fact he was easily spotted and shot last time he came near the base.

  
Feeling brave, you run out of the camp, but hide behind a wall not far away from the base. You hear footsteps about to run past you, and tense up. You jump out from behind the wall you were hiding behind, and quickly shoot. However, it's only Jane, and she rolls her eyes, giving you a grin as she sprints past you back to the base. Prowling ahead, you quickly duck behind another wall, and wait for footsteps. You raise your head a bit higher when you hear more footsteps, and let out a puff of air as you ready your gun. Before you can go to shoot, John walks by and goes behind the wall with you. Oh, so he's the one who made those footsteps.

  
"Hi, Dave," he whispers, "oh, shit, wait. I gotta be quiet. Shhhhh." You kiss him ever so lightly to shut him up and he smiles at you with his cheeks dusted red. Suddenly, Karkat comes and shoots John with a small triumphant shout, and you gasp, quickly shooting him. One, how dare he shoot your precious boyfriend. Two, it was dumb of you to not pay more attention to your surroundings and because of it, your team has lost a point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sound of John and Dave having sloppy makeouts behind one of the lazer tag barrier walls*


	16. Sloppy Makeouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John decides to return the kiss that Dave gave him earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION: CHAPTERS 1, 2, 3, AND 10 HAVE BEEN UPDATED. CHAPTERS 1-3 RECIEVED MINOR EDITS (BECAUSE THE WRITING WAS SORTA BAD), BUT CHAPTER 10 SHOULD BE REREAD, OR AT LEAST THE END PART. THANK YOU.

You escape the area where Karkat is, grabbing on John’s wrist and pulling him with you. He splutters, trying to say that he can walk, but you have no time for bullshit. You run behind another barrier wall, shooting Tavros as you see him in your peripherals. As you’re dashing away, you hear Tavros whine, “Awwww, not again!”

You take John back up to the base and hide behind one of the two walls that are up there. You’re breathing pretty hard and John is lightly panting. He leans against the wall and you decide to follow his lead. Realizing you haven’t let go of John’s wrist, you let it go, and it swings limply. However, John laces his fingers with yours instead. Smiling, you lean your head back against the wall and close your eyes, trying to relax your breathing.

“Hey, Dave, you remember how you kissed me earlier?” He looks over at you, and you raise your head off of the wall and open your eyes, turning so that you’re facing him.

“Yeah, I remember. Why?” Tilting your head slightly, you watch him bite his lip and awkwardly laugh. Oh no. Was it embarrassing for you to do that? Maybe you shouldn’t have done that… But, you two are dating. Maybe John doesn’t like public displays of affection? “Hey, yo John, it’s okay if you don’t like PDA. Heh, I realize that Karkat probably saw us,” he blushes at that, “and that you probably weren’t comfortable with that. It’s fine du-” 

He presses his lips to yours abruptly, promptly and successfully shutting you up. Closing his eyes, he slings his arms around your neck. The gun hits your back softly, but you don’t really mind because you have a hot boy kissing you and the thought of pain sure isn’t the first thing on your mind. You try to deepen the kiss but he understands what you’re thinking and opens his mouth. It’s so warm, until John’s lips separate from yours and he’s breathing harshly and his face is so beautifully flushed. 

“I, ha, I wanted to return the kiss you gave me earlier, and of course, you started rambling, so I took the opportunity and tried to shut you up with the kiss hehe…” You can feel his lips brush against yours every time he speaks and you smile at how adorable that is. Letting out a light chuckle, you go back to kissing him and he makes a choked noise in the back of his throat. Apparently, he must not have thought the whole kissing thing would continue.

You place your left hand on his waist, and keep your right hand by your side because it’s already occupied with the gun.  
Eventually, you need air, and stop for a second for a few breaths, but John pushes forward with an almost inaudible whimper, desperately wanting to continue. He swirls his tongue around in your mouth and you shift your legs because yep, that’s a boner you’ve got there. Damn you, hormones. John feels you shifting your thighs together and looks down, giggling and blushing even harder. He leans up to your ear and your breath hitches as he mouths over it. 

“That was the plan, Dave,” he lightly bites the shell of your ear, “to give you a boner.” You groan at his terrible joke, but he goes back to kissing you and puts his knee in between your thighs. 

“Alright, I’ll go hide behind the wall and take co-” Jane walks behind the wall, but abruptly freezes when she sees you two making out. Her mouth still hasn’t closed from when she was talking, but she quickly shuts her mouth, her whole face the color of a tomato. “I-I’ll just… go.” She walks away, her body tense, and you can hear her talking to someone at the base. “Um, I’d guard around that wall over there… Why? Uh, because someone’s over there. Eh? Whydo they need special guarding? U-um, Jake…Do you REALLY want to know? Well, okay, uh, J-John and Dave are sort of… Sort of behind there? Well, yes, but it’s what they’re doing that’s the weird part. They’re- They’re kissing, Jake.”

John immediately detaches his arms from around your neck and puts them back at his side, and his face is fully crimson. “Ahhhhh oh my god, Jane noticed us!” He puts his face in his hands and whines, and you pat his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“Hey… Jane just asked Jake to guard this wall, so… You want to continue……?” He buries his face in your neck and makes an odd noise in the back of his throat. You stroke his hair, and the noises continue. His face feels hot against your neck. He nibbles on the base of your neck to relieve stress, and you look away because that’s sort of just making you want to continue more.  
After a half a minute or so, he lifts his head, and takes a deep breath, stepping away from you and looking down to check his pants. He whimpers when he realizes that he still has a boner, but sighs in defeat.

“Yeah, we can continue this after the game. It only has, what, five minutes left?” You nod and he nods back in response, then walks back in front of the wall and says hello to Jake with a shaky voice. “Jake, haha, about what Jane said… Pfff we were absolutely not doing anything back there.” John awkwardly laughs and Jake looks down at his pants, trying to hold in a laugh as he gives John a wink.

John splutters and drags you out from behind the wall against your will and walks back into the battlefield, mumbling things that you can't exactly hear. You snicker at his behavior and he frowns at you and stops walking, turning to face you and looking at you like a mother would at a child misbehaving.

“No snickering, Dave, or else no kisses after this game. Now go kick Vriska’s ass and then we’ll go have celebratory makeouts.” You smirk at him and salute.

“Yes, sir, Mr. John.” He rolls his eyes at you, but smiles nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn you, Jane. You cockblocked him. He was gonna get some dick but nooo you just HAD to choose that wall to hide behind. Anyway, now I'm gonna respond to some of the comments from last chapter.  
> To The_sucky_fanfic_writer: Like, coding? http://isadorathegreat.livejournal(dot)com/29773 That's a great tutorial, and I use it to code the pesterlogs. It isn't my tutorial, though  
> To Lacila: Yes ;) and also, this helped me make the decision on whether or not they should makeout this chapter  
> To vic: Thank you so much! <3 Sadly, with Thanksgiving Break ending and stuff, may have to be rather slow at updating once again. My apologies!


	17. To the Winner Goes the Spoils (AKA Bragging Rights)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Dave prevail in his competition against Vriska? The victory goes to who, exactly? With the last few minutes, it could be anyone's game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: I have edited Chapter 4, so now the writing is better.  
> P.S. It is now Winter Break, and I can write more for the next 1 and a 1/2 weeks. However, I might be writing other things too, not just this.

You swerve around walls and whenever you hear footsteps or the sound of a laser gun shooting, you hide behind a grey wall. You're getting closer to Vriska's territory, and you can see some of her teammates standing near the base with her. Well, it's really only Tavros, and Vriska is having a chat with him, it seems. Wouldn't it be a pity if something interrupted their conversation?

Instead of charging in immediately like some buffoon, you hide near the base and decide to eavesdrop. Maybe there's some good blackmail material, or you can learn something about Vriska.

"So Tavros, like I was saying. You need to be a little more fierce. No more of this weak shit. I don't wanna have to guard your sorry little ass all the time just so that you won't keep costing this team points." She narrows her eyes at Tavros and puts her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, I guess," he looks down in shame and shifts his feet ever so slightly, "but these guys are really good when it comes to laser tag! I'll try harder next time we play." He does a small salute and Vriska smiles, giving a quick nod of her head.

"Very good, Nitram. Maybe I'll teach you how to get better. Of course you'll need a master to train you. Figures, am I right?" She flips her hair and pats him on the shoulder, and he looks uncomfortable as can be. Hell no, you gotta help a bro out. Now, you have two reasons to beat Vriska's ass. Nobody treats a friend of yours like trash and gets away with no punishment.

You move to the area in front of the ramp and shoot Tavros then Vriska. She screeches as you duck behind a nearby wall and you hear Tavros panicking. Footsteps follow Vriska's screech and even before she can round the corner and get to you, you start firing, and she gets hit by one of them. She gasps and narrows her eyes at you, and you flashstep to the area behind her. You notice her blinker has stopped, which signals she can be hit again, and shoot her again, before snickering and going behind another wall. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Tavros and get him as well.

"Sorry, Tav. What a man's gotta do, a man's gotta do" You give him a curt nod that he probably doesn't notice, and then you're gone. John comes up to you and you give him a grin. "Sup, John. Hey, I bet you can take Karkat and Jade, right? Would you be a dear and shoot 'em if ya see 'em?" Your accent is a lot thicker now and John giggles, but nods nonetheless. John notices Karkat running and shoots him.

"Wow, what a coincidence! There's Karkat now." John tries to stifle his laugh by biting his lip, and you can hear Karkat yelling loud obscenities at John. You take this as your cue to return back to Vriska and totally school her.

"I heard his voice! This way, Nitram!" Speak of the devil. Quick as lightning, you turn around and fire multiple shots before sprinting away as quick as you can. "God. **DAMMIT**!" Vriska's voice is filled with rage, and she positively sounds like she wants to kill someone. That "someone" being you.

"Game over. Game over. Victory goes to the Red Team. Good game, everyone." The robotic voice sounds on the intercom and Vriska stomps over to you, glaring at you with pure hatred in her eyes.

"Nicely done, Strider. The win goes to you. I must say, you're very talented." She say the last part through gritted teeth, and you give her a smug smirk.

"You're not too bad yourself, Serket. You and your team did well. Good game." You reach out a fist toward her, expecting her to give you a fistbump.

"Yeah, yeah, good game." She mutters, fistbumping you and giving you a small smile before turning on her heel and walking over to her team to go congratulate them and chat among them.

"We did amazing, you guys! And Dave, you were absolutely SMASHING!" Jake slings an arm around you and gives you a wide, buck-toothed grin. "Just look at all those points, mate!"

"Same to you, dude. You were in second when it came to points on this team. Your aim is really fucking something." It's true, his aim is exceptional, though not better than Jade's apparently. You're looking at the scoreboard, and Jade came in first on her team when it came to points. That girl's good. She came in second for over all points, next to you. That was probably because of your shooting spree in the end. Hey, what can you say, you wanted to show Vriska you were really something.

"Dave!" John jumps at you and gives you a big hug, and you slowly wrap your arms around him after your startled daze. "You came in first for points, and our team won, dude." He lets go of you and holds up his hand. You high-five him with a smile tugging at your lips, same as him. He presses his lips up to yours and you almost shove him off because, hello, everybody's staring, but you decide not to and close your eyes as you relax into the kiss. After a second, John stops kissing you and looks away with an embarrassed look on his face. You turn around because you heard a gasp while you were kissing, and see Jade with a huge smile plastered on her face. Jane is looking away from you both with a blush and a look that clearly says "I should go". Vriska is just grinning at John and you with sharp teeth.

Jade squeals and runs up to John, giving him a bug hug that practically squeezes the breath out of him, and John lets out a puff of air and a small choke at how tightly she's hugging him. Jeez, this girl is really something.

"Nice work, John. I knew you'd get with him soon enough. How'd it happen? And for how long? It couldn't have possibly happened a long time ago, unless you two were dating in seeeeeeeecret." Vriska gives him a harsh pat to the shoulder, and John looks at you with wide eyes that scream for help.

"Ladies, ladies, calm your tits." Vriska frowns at your words and puts her hands on her hips. "John and I have been together for about three weeks now."

"And making out already. Hehe, you both are eager." Jade tries to stifle her giggle with her hand to no avail and stands with her hip jutting outward.

"Making out? We've only shared a few kisses-" You take a step back, hoping that you convincing while you're telling this lie. Jade wiggles her eyebrows before cutting you off.

"Jane told me everything just a second ago. And from what I've heard, you two were going at it hardcore." She winks at you and nudges your arm, And you hear John groan behind you.

"Oh please. She's probably fuckin' exaggerating. I know how you girls just love juicy gossip." You roll your eyes at her and Jade looks at you with bored eyes and a slight frown.

"Oh really? Yeah, sure. Look, how dumb do you think I am? I can tell when Jane is serious, and I can tell that you're lying. So just fess up and admit that you are so have it for John and his hot bod." With every few words, she came closer to you until she was almost pressed up against your chest, and when she finished talking, she gave you a small smirk. You don't know how to react to her words, and she laughs before taking a few steps away from you.

"J-Jade, stop embarrassing Dave and shit just...look, we should all go home, okay? Jade, Dave's coming with us for Christmas this year. His Bro is going to be out of town visiting a relative, and Dave didn't want to go with him. Plus, we'd sort of like to celebrate Christmas together." John drags you out of the laser tag area by your arm and you allow yourself to be dragged without complaint. Jade follows you both happily.

Once you both are at their car, Jade climbs into the driver seat and John climbs into left back seat and slumps in it. You silently climb into the right back seat and look over at him.

"Dude, are you oka-" You try to whisper to him, but you suddenly feel lips on yours and you separate from him with a short laugh. "Okay, that's the second time today that you've interrupted me by kissing me." His face flushes more and he looks down.

"Sorry. Besides, earlier, I promised you victory makeouts." He twiddles his thumbs in his lap and then looks at you again, his raging blush still plainly obvious and his eyes shining thanks to the light emitting from the streetlamps Jade drives by.

"Oh." That's the only coherent thought you can make. " ...What if we did it at your house?" There's a pause that lasts longer than it should, and then John is laughing really loudly. You raise an eyebrow at his sudden outburst and wonder what could have brought it on.

"'Do it at your house'?" He waggles his eyebrows and throws back his head as he laughs, and you can't help but snicker a little bit and lightly smack his arm.

"Hey, whoa there. Dinner and a movie first, at least." He clutches his abdomen and his laughs start becoming breathless. "Dude, did I break you?"

"Hah, n-no. I'm just, hehe, laughing so much 'cause I thought all of this was really funny, ya doofus." He leans against the interior of the car and you raise an eyebrow at him.

" _I'm_  the doofus? Says the guy who's out of breath from laughing so hard at a little bit of innuendo." He shoves you to the side lightheartedly and puffs out his cheeks with a pout.

"Hey guys, I'm so excited for Christmas! Hey Dave, what are your Christmases like?" Jade makes her presence known again and interrupts John and you with a joyful tone in her voice.

"Uh, Bro usually wakes me up with a downpour of smuppets, then I go into the living room and there's some hot cocoa and a present waiting for me. I give Bro his present, and we watch shitty Christmas movies together. Sometimes we'll order takeout." There's a pregnant pause that hangs in the air after your words.

"Wow, Dave, that's nothing like our Christmas. Dad bakes a lovely feast and we exchange presents and drink hot cocoa while we chat... we'll put on Christmas movies and music, and sometimes we have karaoke!" Jade sounds like an excited five year old.  
"Oh, that sounds fuckin' sweet." John nods happily beside you. Looks like this Christmas will be a bit more cheerful this year. At least there's no smuppets and sugary, acidic orange soda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yessss a Christmas chapter will be here soon. I'll probably post it on Christmas Eve or the day after Christmas, since I'm not sure if I can work fast enough to write it by tomorrow. I know some people don't celebrate Christmas, sorry. Anyway, happy holidays to all of you! 
> 
> I only had one comment on the last chapter but I'll go ahead and respond to it:  
> To Moosejuice: Yes indeed! I'm going to be so productive with the days off I have.


	18. Shit, Let's Be Santa (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Johndave Christmas (Eve), and all through the house, not a creature was stirring- except for John and Dave making out in his room. Anyway, it's Christmas at John's household, and Dave gets to meet John's parents. What is this, the Nightmare Before Christmas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyYYYYYE HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! My Holiday present to you is some Christmas chapters. However, this is like a 4 part holiday special, and since I underestimated how long this would take me, some of the parts may be released on the day after Christmas. i'm real sorry about that. Anyway, happy holidays, once again, and enjoy the holiday chapters.

Once you’re at your house, everyone gets out of the car, and Dave looks up at your big house with an indifferent face that you’re sure holds a bit of aw in it. Your house is fairly big, but is quite plain with its white walls and typical grey rooftop. The windows are as clean as always, since your father likes things to be clean. You look around you and- is that another car? Upon further inspection, you see that this Grandpa Harley’s car. After a second, another car pulls up, this one light blue, and Jane and Jake climb out of the car. Jake waves at you while Jane rings the doorbell. You walk over to where Jane is, and motion for Dave to follow your lead. Hesitantly, he walks towards you and waits in front of the door with Jane and you.

The door swings open and Dad is standing there with a smile on his face. However, he shifts his gaze over to Dave, and frowns the slightest bit, but nonetheless, beckons you all inside with a swift motion of his hand and opens the door ever farther. You walk in after Jane, and Dave trails behind as the third. Jade bounces inside and Jake stops at the door for a moment to talk to Dad for a second.

You smell the familiar scent of vanilla cake and laugh as Dave keeps sniffing the air like a dog. He looks over at you laughing and raises an eyebrow and you wave him off, pointing toward the kitchen and grinning at him. He’s a little slow at what you’re implying, but after a second, you see his eyes widen from behind his shades and he sprints to the kitchen. He slows as he nears the kitchen however. Can’t look like he’s too excited, can he? He’s gotta keep his cool.

Dave peeks into the kitchen and your Nanna turns around and smiles warmly at Dave. She looks around him and notices you as well, and her smile grows wider. She walks over to you and embraces you in a giant hug, and you wrap your arms around her as well. She smells of cookies and sugar because of all the baking she’s been doing.

“John, hello! Merry Christmas, dear! Oh, and you,” she turns around to look at Dave, and he stiffens up but relaxes and leans against the wall, giving her a curt nod, “must be this Dave fellow I’ve heard so much about. For more than two and a half months, I’ve heard short tales and mentions of a blonde-haired boy that he sees every morning. This is you, I presume?”

“Yeah, hello. My name is Dave Strider.” He straightens his posture, so not to seem disrespectful, and Nanna seems pleased by this.

“Well then hello, Dave Strider! I’m John’s Nanna, nice to meet you.” She sticks her hand out at Dave. He shakes it with caution. “Now young man, I have a few questions for you if that’s quite alright. Come with me, come!” She walks over to the couch and sits on it, waiting for Dave to join her.

He seats himself down next to Nanna and prepares himself for what she has to say. After all, this is his first time meeting your family! Although you guys have been dating for a while now, you guys decided not to have Dave meet your family until the right time.

“You don’t have to say words if you don’t want to. A simple yes or no will suffice, okay? Now, you’re treating my John well, correct?” Dave nods his head and she continues with her barrage of questions. “May I have some information about you? Not to be nosy, I would just love to learn about my son’s boyfriend.”

“My name is Dave Strider, son of Derrick Strider, and I currently work at the nearby Starbucks that John goes to every morning. That’s sort of how we met and got to know each other, actually. My hobbies include making music and poetry- well, actually, rapping. I’m also trained with a blade and-“ Nanna puts her hand up and he automatically shuts up, his body stiffening.

“Whoa there, buster, calm down. Hoo, you’re making it sound like a autobiography or a dating site. Either way, just slow down and take a deep breath.” She chuckles as Dave takes a breath and tries to redeem himself.

“Okay, I’m Dave Strider, and as you heard, I work at Starbucks. I like rapping and making music.” Nanna nods in approval at him and pats him on the back.

“Very nice! Now, one last question.” She narrows her eyes into a serious face. “Are you using protection?” Dave splutters and your face grows red as she laughs loudly and wipes the tears that formed in her eyes. “Hoo hoo! I’m just joking, boys. I trust that you two are fine, but don’t be silly, wrap your willy!” You groan and put your head in your hands, and Dave sits there awkwardly with a raging blush.

“Nanna! Don’t be so embarrassing. What is this family’s obsession with being embarrassing?!” You groan and Nanna giggles and gets up and walks back into the kitchen.

“Well, I must get back to baking and cooking. I’ll leave you two boys alone. Well, you both won’t be alone for too much longer. Jacob will be here soon, as well as Jane and Jake.” She resumes her baking and you sit on the couch next to Dave.

You’re about to apologize to Dave for Nanna’s behavior, when you hear loud footsteps, those of which could only be Grandpa Harley’s.

“Hello Johnny boy!” His voice is bellowing, and Dave stops lumping and looks up at him. “Ah, and who might this young lad be?” His face is confused as he looks at Dave. Before Dave speaks, you decided to introduce him.

“This is Dave Strider, my boyfriend. Oh, I never told you, did I?” Shit. You never did tell Grandpa Harley. You told Nanna and Dad, but not him.

“Boyfriend? Well then. Hello, Dave Strider. I am Jacob Harley.” He shakes Dave’s hand with a tight grip.

“Grandpa, please don’t do anything embarrassing, please.” You’re prepared for annoying guardians now. You want it to stop. Make it stop.

“Embarrassing? Me? Ha! Of course not, John, don’t be silly.” He pats you on the back and wow you just really want to have a minute to breath. Yes, yes, merry Christmas, happy holidays, but some space would be nice!

“Oh, Grandpa, you should check and see if Nanna needs help with the cooking. I know she’s such a great chef but I mean hey, an assistant could help her with her work and lighten her load. She does do a lot of the cooking with Dad on Christmas. Why don’t you go assist her?” You raise your eyebrows and tilt your head in the direction of the kitchen, and Grandpa’s face lights up.

“Genius, my dear boy. I shall go help your Nanna prepare the Christmas feast.” He gets up and walks into the kitchen, and you stand up as quick as lightning and drag Dave up the stairs to your room and shut your door, letting out a puff of air and slumping on the wall.

“Ugh, I’m so so sorry.” He pats your back and sits down next to you on your white carpet floor.

“Hey, man, don’t sweat it. They were just trying to be cheery and find out what’s up with their son’s bf. It’s understandable. Can’t have your children datin’ a fuckin’ drug dealer or something.” You let out a light chuckle, and notice how his attitude has changed now that he’s only talking to you.

“Wow, you changed. Cursing like a sailor all of a sudden? Watch your language, mister!” You giggle and he puffs his cheeks out at you.

“Hey, stop sounding like your Nanna. You curse all the time, you dumbass.” His lips tug up slightly and you nod.

“True, true.” You laugh and lean over and kiss him. “Anyway, we’re finally by ourselves now.” Dave waggles his eyebrows at you and you snicker, shoving him. “Dude, I’m serious! I promised victory post-game kisses, and so far I’ve given only very small ones! To hell with that, Dave.” He smirks at you, and you’re sure that kisses will happen now.

“Well then, let the kisses begin.” Oh, that nerd. He made that line rhyme! However, you don’t dwell on him being a dork, because his lips are pressed up against yours and his hands are on your collarbone and unless someone or something stops you, this is the victory makeout you were hoping to give him, yes.

You try to deepen the kiss, and Dave gladly lets you, letting you tongue explore his mouth. Every so often, you feel Dave’s tongue lave over your buck teeth. Dave brings you forward by pushing your back and making you move closer to him with the hand that’s wrapped around your midsection.

All of a sudden, your bedroom door flings open and you quickly separate from Dave with a twitch of your body.

“John I know you’re up here! Dadbert said to come help with the decora-“ She opens her eyes and looks down to see you and Dave sitting up against the wall, making out and she snickers. “John, get your fucking hormones in check! Jeez, unless you two are stopped, you’ll be fucking in no time. Get up off the floor, too! Fucking on the floor isn’t sanitary.”

You jump up on your feet instantly, and glare at her with your face flushed crimson.

“Jade, what the fuck! And why the fuck can’t I just have some peace and quiet in this house?!” Why can’t you just kiss your boyfriend in peace? “Okay, I’ll be down to help with decorations in a second. Just- Just get out of my room and go back downstairs.” Your voice is fuming, and she raises an eyebrow at you but turns around and goes back downstairs with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Calm down, John. You’re like a fucking ball of rage like the sun. Not even Earth sized or anything like that, nah. As big as the su-“ You haul him up by his shirt and kiss him furiously, your teeth clashing with his, and let him go without a word. “Come on, lets go do decorations and stuff.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna reply to the comments I received on the last chapter:  
> To Red: Oh my. Thank you so so much! I' surprised you could read all this that quickly, but I know the feeling when I find a fanfic I like. I promise not to drop out on this story, though I haven't made up an ending yet, just writing a bunch of dorks in scenarios I think up. Thank you for all the compliments, I'm flattered! ^///^  
> P.S. I do enjoy some smut, but I have the feeling there won't be any in this story. I might make a side-story for those who enjoy smut, but I'm keeping this mildly clean for all ages. However, things are getting steamy, aren't they? I do enjoy writing makeout scenes, and take any chance I can get ;9  
> To Amber+Musica: Nah, they weren't watchin'. Jane only told Jade about it, and Vriska was trying to hook them up at the arcade, remember? So she's happy her friend finally got the D- I mean a boyfriend. But I mean hey, they could have secretly been watching ;) Use your imagination to your heart's content.  
> To the fan: I'm glad you like it! i'll be sure to update more :)


	19. Shit, Let's Be Santa (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a Christmas without decorating cookies and setting up the lights on the Christmas tree? Dave shows you the wrong way to decorate your cookies. Naughty Dave, don't play with your food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM! Two chapters in one day, hell yeah, happy holidays. Sadly, I think this is gonna be the last part until the day after Christmas, because I have to go celebrate Christmas with my family.

You start go downstairs and Dave follows you without a word. Wow, you really must have surprised him! Well, it's not often that you lash out a people, so that must have been something. You turn around and rub the back of your neck with your hand.

"Heyyyy, sorry about doing that whole," you make random hand gestures at him, "rage thing and the surprise kiss." You notice his lip is red and your eyes widen. "Dude, oh my god, your lips are bleeding. Did I fucking bite you?!" He looks away awkwardly and licks the blood off his lip.

"Yeah, your teeth accidentally nipped me during that whole 'let-me-smash-my-face-into-yours' kiss of fury. Hey, don't sweat it. It's not like I'm gonna die of blood loss or something." You still frown at him, because making him bleed isn't cool! Unless he sudden asks for you to make him bleed, then this isn't right.

You grip him in a bear hug and he hugs you back, petting your hair. You nestle into his neck and you both stand there like that for a minute. He's the first to break the silence.

"Hey, now what did Jade say about ornaments? Come on, dude, let's go decorate the tree and shit." You let go of him, and he smiles at you. His smile warms you up just like the hug did, and you both continue your descent down the stairs. Once you're down there, you look at the dark green tree that's just waiting to be decorated. Its pine needles like hands, and of course you're going to be the one to put jewelry on it. Jade comes out of the kitchen and grins at you two.

"Good to see you both untangled from each other's lips for long enough to come downstairs and help us. I was helping decorate cookies. Since we still have a few cookies left, do you wanna help us? Or start on the tree already?" You exchange a look with Dave, and he nods his head.

"We'll help with cookies." Both of you say in unison and you look at him with shock, because wow. You're surprised you managed to pull that off. You just smile at turn back to Jade, happily nodding your head.

"Good, then come into the kitchen and you both can get to work decorating the cookies." Jade turns around and returns to the kitchen, and Dave looks over at you.

"Alright, look. No funny business, got it? Remember that one time I allowed you to mess with some of the food at Starbucks with me way way at fuck o clock in the morning when my manager wasn't around and you completely played around?" You giggle and your face grows a bit more red. You remember that time... Hey, it's not the time for stories! No one's gonna know what went down. "No, bad John. You're parents are present. Also, hell no. You are one kinky motherfucker." You puff your cheeks out at him, your blush spreading and darkening. You are not! He smirks, and you have the feeling all of this is going to turn on you in some way. 

Dave walks into the kitchen first instead of you, and you follow his footsteps. Jane and Jake turn around and wave at you with wide smiles, and you sit down at the table where they're at. They've made cookies of each other, and you see what's going on. You look down at the gingerbread man in front of you and then look at the tub of red icing. You scoop up some of the white frosting and glob it around the top to make it look like Dave's hair. Then, you take a black frosting tube and draw two sort-of-poorly-drawn circles connected by a small line. It's Dave's signature shades! Next, you take red frosting tube, and you're thinking about drawing a dress. Maybe a santa outfit? You could always draw his little Starbucks uniform... Deeming that perfect, you take the dark green frosting instead, and draw a little apron, and use the white frosting as pants.

You decide to show Dave the gingerbread man replica of him, and when you look down your eyes widen. He made a mini you in a short Santa dress! You give him a look and he grins at you, then looks at your gingerbread man Dave and nods in approval.   
"What's with the Santa dress?" You look back down at his gingerbread man and he shrugs.

"I thought it'd be funny, plus you'd probably look good in one." You swat his arm and he chuckles at you. "Hey, hey, it's Christmas Eve! Don't be so hostile."

Looking back down again at the table, you decide to decorate a normal cookie. You're about to ask Dave what you should draw on your cookie, but when you turn around, he's licking white frosting off his fingers while making an odd humming noise. The way his tongue sweeps over the length of his finger, and the way he sucks on his fingertip... Your face heats up, and quick as can be you awkwardly laugh and stand up, dragging Dave over to the sink. "Haha! Dave, you know you're supposed to use a butter knife or a frosting tube, right? That's unsanitary." Your voice sounds strained, and you glare at Dave, your voice more hushed now. "What gives, dude? You said no funny business!

"I told YOU no funny business. That doesn't mean I can't mess with ya. Plus, i's funny to see you flustered. I'm surprised you got so worked up over just frosting." He's smiling like the cat that just got the cream, and you frown at him.

"My family members are in the room! I can't have you acting all inappropriate, Dave. Please, just this once?" His face doesn't tell you anything as you wait for an answer.

"No promises, dude. No promises." He washes his hands off in the sink, and walks back to the table with you, where you both sit back down and resume your cookies. Dave better not try anything like that again. Hey wait a second, fight fire with fire.

"Um, hey Dave, why don't we go get the ornaments from the storage closet? We have to decorate that tree sometime, and now seems like a good time as any." Dave gives you a look, but then shrugs.

"Sure, why not." He stands up and pushes in his chair and you do the same. You lead him to the storage closet, and as he's looking around for the ornaments, you shut the door behind you as you walk in with him. "Dude what." Dave raises an eyebrow at you as you turn on the lightbulb and take a step closer to him.

"Now Dave, I know we talked about this at the sink, but I just wanted to have a bit more of a lengthy discussion..." Your voice is a lot lower than it normally is, and you're surprised at how odd it sounds coming out of your mouth. "Good boys act the correct way, and don't do anything wrong. You're a good boy, right?" You step closer to him and each time, he backs away, until his back's against the wall and he can't go an farther. You reach out and gingerly touch his collarbone, sucking your bottom lip under your teeth. 

"John, what the fuck are you trying to pull?" There's a bit of annoyance in his voice, but his voice is mildly breathy. It's working!

"Answer me, Dave. Are you a good boy?" His breath hitches and he shakes his head no. Well then, you weren't expecting this. Shit. Your plan was meant to make him like putty under your hands, and you could command him to stop doing odd things. Fine, Dave. Two can play at this game. "No? And why is that so?" Your voice doesn't sound so confident now, but you try to lean in closer to him.

"Because I tried to get you riled up at the table, and I know you're trying to get me to pop a boner for you and all, but I'm not going to go out there with a boner, and you can't stop me from bein' so vulgar. It's just so nice to see you all worked up, like I said." You frown at him, and back away slightly, giving him more room to breathe, before coming back closer to him, and getting a great idea. You tug his shirt collar down some, and bite on his collarbone. He jolts and squirms when you suck, and you smirk when you look down an notice a slight tent in his pants. Yes. 

"Alright, grab the ornaments and let's go decorate the tree. It's pretty big so it'll take a while to do." You grab a box of ornaments and walk out of the closet, leaving him to stand there, stunned.

A few seconds later, you hear noises and you know tat Dave is following you. You set down your box of ornaments and take out some silver ones as you hang them on the tree. Dave sets his box down and selects an old Mickey Mouse ornament and puts it on another part of the tree. That ornament brought back memories... It was from when you were a kid and went to Disney with your family. Gee, being a kid was the best. You stop hanging up ornaments and look at the Christmas lights, and then back at Dave.

"Hey, Dave, wouldn't it be easier to put up the lights before we hang the ornaments?" He stands there for a second, and then nods, grabbing the Christmas lights. 

You grab another part of the Christmas lights and you both wrap them around the Christmas tree, hoping that you both won't get tangled up in them. Jade watches you from the kitchen entrance, giggling as you both try to figure out how the fuck Christmas lights work. After what seems like a half an hour, you cheer as the lights are in the right position, and you plug the lights into the electrical outlet. The lights twinkle in all different colors, and it looks so wonderful and magical. The tree looks like a beacon of joy and hope, and it fills you with holiday cheer. However, you can't stand here gawking at the fabulous lights forever. The ornaments still need to be put up! You call for the others, and they help you put ornaments of all shapes and colors onto the Christmas tree. 

After all the ornaments are put on the tree, you stand back and admire how fabulous it looks, and you see the others doing the same. 

"Hey, we should do some karaoke!" Jade breaks the silence, running over to her laptop and typing something. "Come on, guys, who's up first?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I won't be on here until after Christmas, merry Christmas, and happy holidays. John, Dave and co. will finish up their Christmas when I return.


	20. Shit, Let's Be Santa (Part Three): Karaoke Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and the others drop some sick beats. Nah, just kidding. They do some karaoke while they wait for Christmas Eve dinner to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said this would be 4 parts? Try more like 6 or 7. All of this will probably still be going on in January lmao. Christmas Eve isn't even over yet in the story, and Christmas still needs to be written about. I'm sorry I just really love writing about holiday cheer.

Jake raises his hand, and Jade asks him what song he wants to sing. "Hm...I'm going to have to say "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"! It's the first Christmas song that comes to mind, so why not?" Jade nods her head and she types the song title on her laptop. The tune plays from Jade's laptop, and Jake puffs out his chest. "Feel free to sing along, chums!"

Jake starts singing, and you snicker because wow, you thought that someone could sing so badly. Sometimes he'll hit a few good notes, but other than that, he's off-key and pretty mediocre. He looks like he's having fun, though, and that's really all that matters, right? When he's finished, everyone applauds him just for the sake of being polite. He buys it though. Jane whispers something in Jade's ear and Jade wink at Jane and inputs the song. The fluid melody of the song "Santa Baby" can be heard, and Jane sits down on the couch, crossing her right leg over her left knee. 

"Santa baby...just put a sable under the tree, for me..." Her voice is heavenly, and sweet. It drips over you like syrup and you can't help but widen your eyes because wow, did she change from last year. "So hurry down the chimney tonight." 

She scans the room as she sings the next few lines, and she lightly shakes her head no when she looks at Jake, and she shakes her head no when she sees you. Her eyes land on Dave, and she grins as she slowly gets up and you really wonder what she's going to do.

"Think of all the fun I've missed, think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,  next year I could be just as good, if you check off my Christmas list." She sits in Dave's lap and strokes his cheek with the backside of her hand, and you glare at her and try to shove her off Dave's lap. She giggles at your fuming, and she stills stays there, singing the rest of the lyrics and winking at you, then at Dave. Speaking of Dave, you look over at him, and he's just blushing, because Jane is fucking half-lying on his lap. Every so often, she'll stretch out her legs, or touch Dave's arm. The song ends with a heavenly tone, and even though you want her off of Dave, she really does sound like a goddess.

"Jane, get off of Dave's lap." Your fists are balled up at your sides, and your voice is fuming.

"Hehe, sorry, John. The song called for a little theatrics, and I felt that that would have been odd if I did it with a family member, so I chose Dave to be my victim instead." She climbs off of Dave's lap and gets off the couch and goes to sit with Jade. "I truly didn't mean anything." 

"Jeez, John, you were really jealous, weren't you?" Jade snickers, and whispers a few things to Jane, which makes her face grow red.

" _Me_? Jealous?? What- no!" Dave wraps his arms around you as you splutter in fury, and rests his head in the crevice of your neck, giving your neck a kiss.

"Dude, chill. You're about on the level of burnin' hot cocoa, when you need to be at the level of the North Pole, sippin' on some nice, cold eggnog with the big man himself. Mr. Grand Ol' Santa Claus." He nuzzles into your neck a bit and his hair tickles your cheek. He drops his voice down to a low whisper. "Y'know, I would've loved it so much more if you swapped places with Jane." Your neck heats up, and you murmur something before kissing the top of his head.

Dave lifts his head out from your neck and looks over at Jade. "Jade, I'll go next. I'll sing 'All I Want For Christmas Is You’ by Mariah Carey." 

"Can do, Dave." She wiggles her eyebrows at him and plays the song. The first few twinkling notes of music play, and Dave takes a deep breath.

"I...don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one, thing i need... I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas Tree. I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know, make my wish come true... 'cause baby all I want for Christmas, is... you." Oh hot damn. Dave's voice is so low and melodious, you're knees just turned to jelly and you're pretty sure you just creamed your pants. His accent is a lot more clear when he's singing, and boy howdy does it sound nice.

He walks over to you and slings his arm around you while he’s singing, and puts his hand in yours. Is he doing all of this for you? Like, to make you feel better about the whole “Jane Incident”? You just couldn’t help but feel possessive when Jane was being suggestive with Dave.

At random times during the song, he’ll pet your hair or kiss your cheek, and he ends by hugging you and giving you a fistbump.

You’re just standing here looking at Dave, and he raises an eyebrow with a smirk that looks more like a smile.

“So? How’d I do?” Is he seriously asking that question? He was amazing, magnificent! He should do a duet with Jane. They’d make a great singing pair.

“How’d you do?! Awesome, dude! Y-your voice is like that of a god and your accent is so much stronger and you can sing so low-“ You hug him and give him a giant grin, and he smiles. It’s the truth!

“All for you, babe.” He drawls and wraps his arm around your waist. Look at this giant dork, hugging you again. You don’t know how long you two just stand there, but Jade interrupts you guys by clearing her throat.

“ _Ahem._ Dave, if you don’t mind, I want to sing ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ with John, so be a dear and kindly take your hands off of my brother and go sit down.” He frowns at her, but goes and plops down on the couch. Smiling, Jade goes over to her laptop and selects the song of her choice.

She beckons you to where she’s standing in the middle of the room, and begins singing. “Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock-“ She points to you and you cautiously sing the lyrics, hoping they’re correct.

“Jingle bells chime, in jingle bell time. Dancin’ and prancin’ in jingle bell square,” Jade suddenly decides to join you for the last line of the stanza out of the blue, “in the frosty air!” You both continue to come in at different intervals, and sometimes sing at the same time to create an awesome harmony. When you guys are done, Dave and the others clap, and Jade takes a bow, giggling.

Dadbert comes into the living room, where you guys are at, and announces that dinner is ready, and everyone tries to pile into the dining room. Yes, finally, it’s time to eat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy Jane is best Jane hell yeah. I see why Dave was blushing 'cause Jane is really really pretty.


	21. Shit, Let's Be Santa (Part Four)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone loves Christmas dinner...And Christmas Eve dinner too. The meals are always grand, and you can gorge yourself... Anyway, it's also movie time, and Jake has a lineup of movies for the gang to watch. Anyone up for a movie marathon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've been wanting to do other things lately and stuff.

You sit down at the dining table next to Jade and Jane, and Dave sits across from you, next to Jake. Nanna and Dad are bringing out dishes of creamy, buttery mash potatoes and plates of dark pink and brown ham. You spot a small dish of gravy and a bowl of peas and carrots and, finally, the cake. There’s always a cake at every holiday dinner, and it seems this one is no different. The cake is dark brown, and you suspect that it’s chocolate. There’s no other way it could be any other flavor. Unless… What if it’s vanilla or something, and Nanna and Dad just used brown frosting! It would be so like them to do something like that. Their prankster’s gambit would go up so much. You side-eye the cake as you scoop up some mashed potatoes.

“Wow. This is just the _Christmas Eve_ dinner?” Dave is staring at all of the food with what you think is wide eyes. You can’t tell since his eyes are hidden behind his shades. Even at the dinner table he won’t take them off.

“Yep!” Nanna and Dad reply in unison, looking at Dave smugly. Every year they make so much food for the holidays, it’s outrageous.

Dave slowly puts some ham on his plate and murmurs something. Look at this dork. Has he never had his parents cook all out like this? Well, your family cooks more than the average family, but still. Jade nudges you, and you look over at her, wondering what she wants.

“Hey John, what’d you get me this year?” Jade’s face is hopeful, and you give her a look. Goddammit, Jade.

“Jade, I can’t tell you what I got you. You’re gonna have to find out for yourself what you got.” She giggles and rolls her eyes.

“Well duh, dumbass. I was just hoping you’d tell me. At least tell me what you didn’t get me or something, to make me think you got me what you said, when in reality, you got me something completely different. Jeez, John, come on.” Raising an eyebrow at her, you stare at her with a blank look on my face.

“Jade, no swearing at the dinner table.” Jade freezes, her eyes wide. Ha, Jade. Dad caught you!

“Heh, yeah, Jade. No swearing!” You snicker at Jade, and Dad glares at you. You shut up immediately, and Jade grins at you.

“Children, calm down. Focus on eating before it gets cold.” Dad scolds you both, but you know he’s not really being stern. You’d know when he’s being stern. You start eating some ham and carrots.

“Hey, Mr. Egbert and Mrs. Egbert-“ Dave tries to speak to Nanna and Dad, but Nanna holds up a hand and he stops speaking, waiting for whatever she’s going to say.

“Please, call me Nanna. When you call me Mrs. Egbert, it makes me sound like my son’s wife, hoo hoo!” Nanna chuckles, then lets Dave resume with his speaking as she goes back to eating.

“Well, thank you both for this hella r- I mean, amazing and luxurious dinner.” Dave tensed up when he corrected himself, and Dad gave Dave a look with one eyebrow raised. You laugh out loud, and Dave looks over at you, giving you a pointed glare.

You all have some small talk over Dinner, and laugh about all of the things you’ve done this year. Like when Jake forgot to keep the safety lock on his guns and almost shot someone, or when Jane made you wet your pants while you were asleep because of the stupid put-the-hand-in-water prank. Jade mentioned when Jane accidentally got cake all over her during a terrible baking incident. Nanna told everyone the story when she was with Dad, and she gave him a caramel apple, but it turned out it was an onion covered in caramel. It was a grand time, with laughter and joy.

When dinner is done, you put your plate in the sink, and the others follow your lead. Dave flops down on the couch, and you sit next to him, Jade squeezing into the small space that’s left on the couch on the other side of you.

“Fuuuuuck I’m so stuffed. I’m like a turkey on Thanksgiving that got stuffing shoved up my asshole and now I’m waiting for a happy family to feast on me fuck.” You stare at him with wide eyes, because wow that might have been one of the weirdest things he’s ever said. “…That was a really bad simile, I’m so sorry you had to hear that.” Jade giggles and you roll your eyes with a smile. It’s like you said earlier. He’s a giant nerd.

“Ah! Chums, look at the time. It’s time for late night movies.” Jake waggles his eyebrows and holds up a few DVDs. Jade groans and she and Jane smile while Dave, on the other hand, raises an eyebrow.

“Aye yo, what kind of movies are we talkin’ about here?” He gestures to the movies that Jake’s holding and Jake looks at the movies then at Dave.

“Christmas movies, of course! I’ve got ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’, ‘Elf’, ‘Home Alone’, ‘Love, Actually’, and ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’.” Dave whistles lowly and gives Jake a look. “What?”

“That’s an absurdly long list of movies.” Now it’s Jake’s turn to give Dave a look. His eyes are wide and his both of his eyebrows are up.

“Five? Five movies is not a lot! It was more last year.” You’re gonna have to go with Jake on this one. Movies are simply the best, especially on Christmas.

“Yeah, Dave. We always stay up late watching movies on Christmas. First one to fall asleep is loser, hehe.” You giggle and Jade rolls her eyes at you because she’s always the first one to fall asleep first. “Anyway, we should all get in our pajamas in case we fall asleep or something.” All of the others nod their head, except for Dave, who just sort of rubs the back of his neck with his right hand.

“Uhhh I sort of, don’t wear pajamas? I didn’t bring any.” Jane cocks her head at him and silence fills the air. Oddly enough, you’re the first one to break the silence.

“Oh my god, do you sleep in the nude.” You blurt it out suddenly, and everyone turns to look at you with faces that obviously ask what the hell is wrong with you. “I mean, uh, what do you sleep in then?”

“I just sleep in my boxers and sometimes a tank-top or something. I never really thought pajamas were necessary.” He shrugs his arms, and you look at you’re siblings before looking back at Dave.

“Uh, I mean, that’s probably fine. Boxers are just like thin shorts, right?” Awkwardly laughing, you take one of the movies out of Jake’s hands and stick it in the DVD player. After a minute, the others leave to go change. You soon follow after.

Eventually, you’re in your slimer PJs, Jade’s in a pair of loose light green shorts and a tank-top that says “Lab Report” and has a drawing of a Labrador with a lot of papers,  Jake’s in some shorts that are sort of really really short and his usual black tank-top with his typical green skull, Jane has a light blue nightgown that has pictures of sweets like cakes and cookies all over it, and then there’s Dave, with a loose white tank-top and a pair of white boxers with broken records on them.

All of you put blankets and pillows on the floor and crowd around the TV to start the movie. Jade demands that she and Jane sit on the couch, and you begrudgingly agree to allow them to be on the couch.

Jake squeals, and you grin because hell yeah. No one loves movies more than you and Jake. You guys are movie bros through and through. He fiddles around with the remote, and finally clicks the play button after a few seconds of trying to find it, and the sound of the previews fills the living room. Boring! You snatch the remote away from Jake and fast-forward through them to get to the actual movie itself.

You guys go through movies pretty quickly, and Jade falls asleep after the third one. Jane falls asleep on the fourth, and you black out probably somewhere near the end of the fourth one, and wake back up in the middle of the fifth one and see Dave and Jake awake, talking about…Pumpkins?

“Yeah, I grow pumpkins in the backyard! Jade helps out with me sometimes. Jane and John don’t really take to gardening, though, and rather they help Nanna and Dad in the kitchen.” Dave nods at Jake and Jake prattles on. You slowly inch your way closer to Jake and grab his leg. He yelps and looks down, and scowls when he sees you. “John, Christ! You scared the willies out of me.” Giggling, you let go of his leg and sit up.

“Pfff shut up, you giant baby. It’s just me! Who- or what- else could it have been?” Jake’s frown grows and he sighs at you and goes back to looking at the screen. When the movie finishes, he falls fast asleep, and you walk around to the other side of Dave, leaning against his shoulder.

“Sup, dude. How was your first movie marathon?” You smile up at him, and he chuckles, folding his arms.

“Cheesy, long, but surprisingly not unpleasant.” You lightly clap your hands together and give him a thumbs up.

“See! I told you you’d like it.” Kissing him on the cheek, you switch the TV back on to Live TV, where they’re playing a Christmas Carol. “Wanna watch one more?” You raise an eyebrow at him and give a smirk.

“Nah, I’m good. Wanna play video games?” You perk up because, now that you think about it, hell yeah you do. Giving an excited nod, you turn on your Wii and grab your old Smash Bros game of the shelf.

“Fuck yes. We’re gonna play video games tomorrow too, got it? So I can beat you even further. I’m going to pound you.” Your voice is low as a growl, and you see Dave snicker, then wink at you. What’s with the-

 

“Dave stRIDER YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!” You whack him in the head with a pillow and he laughs as you quietly screech at him, your face red because that mental image (while pleasurable) is not one that you’d like to have right now.

“Dude, dude, you’re face pffhahaha!” Fuck you, Dave Strider. Fuck you. "I'd let you, bro." He freezes up after he realizes what he just said, and you look over at him with wide eyes and a crimson face. Oh my god. "I mean I'd let you beat me in the video game. i'll go easy on you." Sure Dave...

"As if! Don't go easy on me...!" You both decide to ignore his earlier statement, but you're going to be thinking about that for a while.

\----------

Your name is Jade Harley, and for a few minutes now, you've been eavesdropping on your brother and his boyfriend while pretending to be asleep. These two really have to get a room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Dave ;)
> 
> Wow. First time we have Jade's POV and it's for such a short time. I'm sorry, Jade. Anyway, new Years is coming up, and I'll probably be writing a scene for that too. Next chapter (probably to be posted tomorrow) will be Christmas day and after that, it's the New Year's chapter. I'm hoping to release it on 12/31, but it might be released on 1/2 or something if I'm too busy or something. Sorry! I'll try my best.


	22. Shit, Let's Be Santa (Final part)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is upon the Egbert-Harley household, and they are full of holiday spirit and joy. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 3,032 words and I started at like 1:15 pm because I woke up late. Holy shit this was tiring. I hope y'all enjoy this.

You end up waking earlier than you'd admit, at eight AM, fearing the onslaught of puppets, but it's just John shifting on your lap. His head is resting on your legs with some blanket as a pillow, and the TV screen still shows the Super Smash Bros game pause screen. You look around the room, and John's dad is walking around in the kitchen, cleaning up the counters and checking the oven timer. Looking back down at your sleeping boyfriend, you realize that you're probably not going to be able to get up, because then he'd awaken, and you really like him to get his rest. Sitting there awkwardly, you slowly move your hand and cautiously pet John's hair. He doesn't make an noise, but his shoulders seem to relax more. His hair feels really soft when he's not wearing hair gel in it. 

You sit with John like this for a few minutes, but eventually decide that there's something better you could do with this time. Lowering the volume on the TV to zero, you pick up a Wii controller and enter a single player game on Super Smash bros Brawl and begin the challenge of defeating all of the stages. You lose on the stage right before Mr. Hand, and restart again with a different character. How about Meta Knight this time? Nah, Snake is way better. With Snake as your character you go by most of the stages with ease, but half-way through the stages, you hear Mr. Egbert yell, “Kids, get up! Breakfast is going to be ready in a second.” Wait, wait- looking at the clock, you realize it's already nine AM and you've been playing this game for a good fifty one minutes.

John stirs in your lap and buries his face in your thigh, whining something you can't make out because it's muffled, but it's probably something like the whole 5-more-minutes thing everyone does in the morning. However, this whole face-in-thigh thing isn't going to work out, especially because you're only wearing boxers, but John doesn't seem to notice and/or care. You poke him in the head and he shifts, but doesn't get up, so you groan and lean down to whisper in his ear.

“Dude, your face is nearly on my crotch. I can feel your breath on my dick.” You hiss it out between clenched teeth so Mr. Egbert doesn't hear, since he's now in the room and trying to wake up Jade, Jane, and Jake. John's eyes shoot open and he sits up immediately, blushing something fierce.

“I'm awake, I'm awake!” He yells as he rubs his eyes with his fists. “Sorry, Dave.” Looking over at you, he adds, but in a quieter voice. With a stretch of your arms, you stand up and walk toward the kitchen, beckoning for John to follow you. Quickly, he follows in your footsteps and walks into the kitchen. Oh, damn. It smells like maple syrup in here. Are there pancakes nearby? That must be what's for breakfast, right? Sure enough, Mr. Egbert lays down multiple plates with two pancakes each on them. Fuckin' sweet.

John sits down next you, and Jane sits on the seat that's on the other side of John. Jade sits across from him and Jake sits across from you. Mr. Egbert sits down next to Jane, John's grandpa takes the seat next to Jade, and Nanna sits next to him. Taking the first of three pitchers on the table, you drench your first pancake in maple syrup and place the pitcher back at the center of the table. You take a bite out of your pancake and holy shit. The flavor of maple syrup explodes in your mouth, and the pancake is fluffy.

“Mr. Egbert, did you make these yourself?” Your tone is one of surprise, and Mr. Egbert laughs, a throaty, low sound.

“Why, yes I did, Dave.” Do you enjoy them?” His smile tells you that he knows that you love them, but you'll be polite and tell him anyway.

“They're awesome. Like, how can you even get them this fluffy?” You take another bite after your words and the others chuckle. They don't understand that Bro's pancakes never taste like the ones Mr. Egbert makes. 

You end up not talking for the rest of the breakfast because you're too busy stuffing your face full of pancake, but the others make small talk and talk about how it's Christmas. Jade evens starts randomly singing “Let It Snow” and the others join along. Once you're finished eating, you decide to sing along too. Christmas spirit and shit, man.

“Oh, shouldn't we go get the presents from our cars? I want to open up presents.” Jane smiles and Jade excitedly seconds this. John nods and pumps his fist. Everyone goes out to their cars, and you follow Jade and John to theirs. John takes out seven presents, and so does Jade. Some are wrapped in snowman wrapping paper, while the others are wrapped in reindeer wrapping paper. You also take out yours. You only brought along gifts for John, Jane, Jake, and Jade. John's gift is the most important, though. The others sort of suck.

Everyone walks back into the house and sets down the presents underneath the tree. Jade exclaims that she wants to go first, and tries to look for the presents that are marked with her name. She finds one frm John's grandpa and excitedly rips open the wrapping paper. “A new rifle? Oh my god! Thanks so much, Grandpa. We'll go out shooting later, okay? I wanna try this puppy out!” She gently sets it aside and finds John's present. Once she's opened up the box that the present is in, she laughs as she takes out a kigurumi that looks like a white dog. “Pffhahaha. John, a kigurumi? Well, at least it'll keep me warm for the rest of Winter, and you got the cute doggy design.” She sets that down as well and begins opening up Jane's present. “Ohh how pretty.” She takes out a blue dress with a belt that has a dog charm on it. “What nice ruffles at the bottom. Jane, this is so beautiful!” 

“Well, you already have a fancy dress, so I thought you needed a more casual dress, and of course I found that I thought you must have it. You do like blue, but of course not as much as John and I, and I know how much you enjoy ruffles.” Jane grins at her and Jade nods.

“That I do, Jane! That I do.” Jade puts it back into the box so it doesn't get ruined and goes over to your present. “Dave, you got me a present? Huh, I didn't think you would. It's nice of you that you did. Thanks!” She takes off the wrapping paper and looks inside the box. “A gardening kit? How'd you know I like gardeni- wait a second. John told you, didn't he?” You nod and Jade giggles, then raises an eyebrow as she notices something else was in the box. She pulls out a dog plushie and hugs it. 

“The plushie was for just in case John was lying about the whole gardening thing, and I know how much you love dogs and stuffed animals, so I got you that.” You motion to the plushie.

“You thought I'd lie to you?” John looks over at you and shrug.

“Hey man, you're a prankster.” He nods slowly and giggles as if confirming what you're saying and taking back his words.

Jade goes over to Nanna's present, and looks inside to see what she got after tearing off the wrapping paper. “A... squiddle jacket! Oh my- is that the Squiddles boxed set and another pair of tangle buddies? Nanna, you remembered my obsession with Squiddles!” Nanna chuckles and Jades sticks the tangle buddies together, claps, and sets the other gifts aside. Finally, Jade opens up her dad's gift, which says caution on the box, and has holes in it. “Oh my god did you get me another dog.” Another? She has a dog? Mr. Egbert shakes his head no and points back to the box, telling her to open it. Cautiously, she opens up the box and gasps loudly. “A Venus Flytrap? I've been wanting one forever!” She takes it out of the box and sure enough, there's a Venus flytrap in a pot and she looks at it admiringly, then goes over to her father and hugs him. “Ahhh thank you so much!”

“My turn!” Jake runs over to his Grandpa's gift to him and opens it with vigor. “Yesyesyes. You got me new pistols! And they're gold, too.” What's with this grandpa and firearms? “Thank you so much Grandpa. Jade, you can practice shooting with that new rifle of yours and I can practice with my new golden pistols. Perfect, right?” Jade nods happily and Jake opens up all of his presents. Same with Jane, Mr. Egbert, John's grandpa, and Nanna, but you're really waiting for your time to come, or for John's. At last, John's name is called, and you look up to see him opening up gifts and being a total dork over all the movies he got. He'd also got new things to prank people with and a weird harlequin doll. Finally, it's time for him to open up your present. 

“Oh, this one's from Dave. “ He takes off the wrapping paper and opens up the box and he gasps and holds up the bunny high up in the air. “Oh yes! It's the bunny from Con Air! Dude, how did you get this?!” He's staring in awe at the stuffed rabbit, and you smile.

“I have my ways. Enjoy the present.” It overjoys you to see him so happy, and he's super cautious about putting it down, then he thinks for a second and moves it to the dining room table so it doesn't get messed up. Then, he comes over to you and gives you a giant hug that nearly squeezes the breath out of you, and you return the hug by wrapping your arms around him. 

“Now go open up your presents. You're really going to like mine.” He pokes your sunglasses and gets off you, sitting back down on the floor and looking up at you. You get up and walk over to the present from Jade, and you're surprised someone other than John got you a present. You open up the red wrapping paper and inside there's a Starbucks gift card. 

“Oh haha, Jade.” She giggles and you can't help but enjoy the joke anyway. “Thanks. Now I can get more coffee when I'm not on my break.” you look down at the bottom of the box and don't even bother taking the present out. “Oh my god. Jade why. No.” you're not even going to say what it is. You move over to John's present next, and as you're passing by Jade, you see her smirk. 

John's present is wrapped in wrapping paper that's red with Christmas lights on it. You manage to get the tape off and get off the wrapping paper, but some of it rips and you think fuck it and rip it apart. There's a box, so you open it up, and there's a pair of sunglasses, but they have gold on them instead of silver. Sunglasses? Why would John get you sunglasses when you already have some? You look at the letter that's in the box and read it. There's a picture of Ben Stiller on it, and you realize that these are Ben Stiller's shades. 

“Dude. Dude oh my god. You somehow got Ben Stiller's shades." You take off your shades, close your eyes, then slip on Stiller's shades. They feel heavenly on your face. “This is so great holy sh- crap. Ben Stiller's shades like wow dude.” You are so shocked, and you run over to John and hug him, just like he did with you, and he giggles and nuzzles himself into your hug. 

Nanna walks off to the kitchen and Jade cheers, screaming something about Christmas officially being started and running off into her room. A minute later, she comes out with candy canes and hands one to everyone. She's so energetic, jeez.

You open up your candy cane and lick it, and John does the same, sucking on his candy cane. Jade plops down next to both of you guys, and takes her candy cane out of her mouth so she can speak.

“Merry Christmas! Dave, did you like my gift?” You glare at her and her face is sly and smug. John raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, thanks for giving me condoms.” John almost chokes on his candy cane and looks over at Jade with wide eyes.

“You WHAT?!” Jade snickers and winks at you both, and you roll your eyes. “Jade, no no, bad Jade. That's naughty and inappropriate, and Dave and I are not going to fuck, okay?” What a shame that is to hear.

“John, it was a joke. Me and Jane thought it'd be funny as a prank, sort of.” she slings her arm around John's neck and resumes sucking on her candy cane. John mutters something and sticks his candy cane back in his mouth, his face slightly red.

“Hey guys, I wonder how far we can take a candy cane.” You voice your thoughts aloud, and Jade waggles her eyebrows. “Jade, you put your eyebrows down.” She wiggles them faster and you groan.

“I'll try it!” Jade opens her mouth and tries to concentrate, and it goes in a bit farther than you thought it would. “Ha, beat that, Dave! Hey John, you try it, too.” He rolls his eyes, but tries to shove the candy cane down his throat, and he gets it farther than Jade. Damn. 

“See, Jade.” She frowns at him, and then they both look at you. Oh, looks like it's your turn now. You open your mouth and attempt to work it down further then both of them, and, to your surprise, it slides down into your throat pretty easily. John and Jade gape at you, but Jade's smiling.

“I win.” you go back to licking your candy cane and Jade laughs and points a finger at you.

“I bet you knew you were gonna win, you giant silly.” She grins and you frown. Hell no. You never cheat.

“No, of course not. It was actually a surprise to me that I got it so far down. But hey, this could be a handy skill.” Jade catches your drift and smirks, but sits back and sucks on her candy cane until she eventually bites off a part.

 

After a long day of singing Christmas carols and having intense Christmas spirit, Nanna announces that Christmas dinner is ready, and everyone sits down in the same order as breakfast. On the table, there's so much food that you're afraid you're about to start drooling. There's a juicy turkey, fluffy rolls with melted butter on them, loaded potato skins, small bowls of vegetables, and, of course, a delicious cake covered in frosting and what appears to be peppermint bark.

You take some of each, and bite into the turkey, and you're surprised you don't moan. It's so very flavorful, and you wolf down more of it. The rolls prove to be as appetizing as they look, and everything is simply so mouth-watering. In the middle of the dinner, Nanna gets up and turns on the TV to a channel where they play holiday tunes to make the atmosphere more merry. 

While Jake and Jade are talking about going shooting, John turns toward you and smiles. “Hey, thank you. Like, a lot, I mean! For the Con Air bunny. You don't know how much it means to me.” 

“Me too. These shades are the bomb.” Before you guys can hug again, Jade elbows John and starts talking to him about trying out shooting with her. Dammit, Jade.

When dinner is done, everyone goes to a different part of the house to go do something, and Jake takes you to the backyard to show you around that part of the house, since you hadn't seen it yet. You exit the house and go outside with John as he babbles about pumpkins and flowers.

\------------------------------

Your name is Jade Harley, and it's time to set your plan in motion. You forgot to do it yesterday, but there's still time! You rush to your room and grab the small box of mistletoe you kept in there. You hurriedly put it up while Jake distracts Dave and John is with his stuffed rabbit, and smirk at the nice work you've done. You set some right outside of John's room and some in the living room and kitchen. Laughing, you put the box back in your room and wait for them to come back. John comes downstairs and waves at you as he sits down on the couch, and a few seconds later, Dave and Jake come back from outside. 

\----------------------------------------------

Once you're back inside, you sit down on the couch next to John and Jade and say hello to them. It's not even ten minutes before Mr. Egbert is saying that everyone should go to their rooms. He says that no one has to go to sleep just yet, but that Nanna needs her rest and he's going to do some work in his study so it should be fairly quiet. John takes your arm and leads you to his room and you guys are almost to his room before he stops. You wonder why for about 0.3 seconds before you see the mistletoe and see why he stopped.

“Christmas tradition, John. We gotta kiss.” You smirk and he grins and moves closer to you as he puts his hands at the side of your face and kisses you slowly.

“Merry Christmas, Dave.”

“Same to you, John.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da! It's finally done. Ha, and it's nowhere near Christmas anymore. Oh well. Now to start on the New Year's special. Don't be surprised if it comes out on 1/2. I did a lot of writing today and I have to celebrate the New Year's with my family and stuff so, y'know. sorry! I'll try to get it posted by tomorrow. Y'all ready for 2015?
> 
> P.S. I'm sorry that only Jade's presents are specified. I found it sort of hard to write for the others and I wanted to finish the chapter as quickly as possible so I can start on the new Year's one.


	23. Bring On 2015! (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Year's Eve, and Dave has been invited to a party hosted by the one and only Ms. Lalonde! But it's not party time just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's sort of shitty. It's mostly dialogue and no actions so, y'know. Anyway, it's 2015, yay. first chapter of 2015! I was going to upload this yesterday but my computer glitched up on me, so sorry about that! I wasn't able to write most of the 2nd part yesterday, either. Anyway, all of the errors (I hope) in the last chapter are fixed and I'll be replying to the comments from last chapter in the end notes, as always.

"Hey, Dave, what are you planning on doing tonight? It's New Year's Eve, dude! 2015 is so close, I can smell it. While this year has been a pretty good one, 2015 will be even better, because I'm with you." He grins and looks over at you. A bit of a blush warms your face and flushes it red. You like when John gives you compliments and is extra loving with you.

"Same here. I'm so glad we were finally able to get over ourselves and just date each other already." John giggles at this, and especially because he's the one that confessed first.

"Yeah, if that one event at the arcade never happened, who knows how long we would've just waited? Anyway, back to the topic of New Year's before we start calling each other pet names, what are you going to do?" Pet names? Oh you have a few pet names up your sleeve. Best not to ruin the moment though. You'll just save them for another time.

"Ah, my sister's mom invited me to a party that I'm gonna attend. Her house is fuckin' huge. It's a mansion." Looking at you with wide eyes, he raises his eyebrows.   
"You're gonna party at a mansion? Dave, sweet! I hope you have fun there. If it's a mansion, the interior will probably be really cool." He fistbumps you and yeah, he's right. It's gonna be pretty fuckin' sweet.  
\-----  
Rose's mom is hosting a New Year's party at her house, and asked if you wanted to come over. Normally, you and Bro shoot off fireworks and drink orange soda to celebrate the occasion, but Rose always has fun parties. Her mother owns a mansion that contains mostly wizard statues and alcoholic beverages. You call Rose and decide to ask her if you can bring a guest.

"Yo, Rose, you know that party your mom is hosting at her house? Am I allowed to bring someone else with me?" She laughs loudly, and you lean the phone away from your ear for a second until the laughter stops.

"I showed Mother the photos you sent from Christmas and she said you can invite the whole damn Egbert family if you want to. P.S. I think she's seems to find John's father attractive." You can hear the smirk in her voice.

"TMI, Rose. TMI. I didn't really need to know that." She lets out a few low chuckles and you resume your speaking. "But, like, can I actually invite them to the party?"

"Of course. Our house is large enough, after all. But remember, the party is tomorrow, so be quick about it." You nod, then realize that she can't see you nod, and then quickly say yes. You both hang up a short while after, and you dial John's number.

"Hey, Dave!" Voice as cheery as always, it greets you when he answers the phone after the ringing has ceased.

"Sup, John. Do you have any plans? And before you think this is me asking you out on a date, it's not. It's something way better. Look, I know this is sudden, but remember when I said my sister's mom is hosting a party at her mansion and that I'm invited? Well Rose said that I could bring a guest, and she also said that your entire family is invited." There's only a brief second of silence before John responds to your long message.

"Whoa, my entire family? She doesn't even know them, or me really for that matter!" Time to tell John the TMI part. Your mom has the hots for his dad.

"Look, John, Momma likes what she sees. Rose thinks that her mom thinks your dad is hot." You hear gagging. "Wow, rude. She's a pretty lady, not gonna lie."

"No, no, it's not that. If they meet and then fall in love and get married, that means we'd technically be brothers and our relationship would be incest!" More gagging.

"You can find some hot without wanting to marry them, jeez. It's like admiring some cats at the shelter, debating on which one you wanna get, and you look at one and say 'oh, that one's cute' and then you have to automatically get that cat. Nah, son, it's just that they're visually appealing." Instead of gagging, now it's groaning coming from his side of the line.

"Fine, but if I'm right and they end up getting married, I'm so totally gonna be all 'in-your-face' and maybe you'll have to do something for me." Look at this dork. Never change, John.

"Okay, sure. Now go tell your family the news. The party starts at 8 PM tonight and it's like 1 pm. Give them time to think about it and get ready and stuff." You hope he'll be able to come, at the very least.

"Can do! I'll call you back when I have the results." Then the line is silent and you patiently wait for his call.

About a half an hour later, your cell phone rings and you hurriedly pick it up. "Hi, John. What did they say?"

"Well, Dad said that it would probably be fun to be in a mansion, but asked if he may speak with Rose's mom and stuff. Also, Jade and Jake are spending New Year's Eve with Grandpa, and Nanna said she might come." Alright, time to give John Rose's phone number.

“Her phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. But wait a minute until you call her. I'm gonna tell her that you're going to call her so she isn't surprised that a random number is callin' her or anything.” Now to call Rose.

“Aye yo, Rose, heads up. John is gonna call you here in a second. He said his dad would like to speak to your mom. She a'int too intoxicated, is she?” Rose's mom always tends to be a bit loopy and ridiculous when she's drunk off her ass.

“Mmm, she's a bit tipsy, but she only woke up about two hours ago, so she hasn't been drinking too much. She's in an okay state for speaking.” That's good news to hear.

“Alright, so John and his dad should be calling any second. Bye, sis.” Hanging up, you wonder how the conversation between Rose's mom and John's dad will be like.

You get another call from John about forty five minutes later, and when you answer it, you hear squealing. “Uh, John? You alright there?”

“Just peachy. My dad said that we can go, but no booze for me and he said this is an opportunity to 'make a new friend'. He means your sister. She doesn't seem too bad, I mean, maybe it'd be cool to be friends with her. But the point is that my dad, Jane, and I are going to be at the party. Cool, right? This is gonna be pretty fun. No alcohol for you though, Dave.” His voice got all maternal and you scoff.

“As if I would dream of it. We're underage, John. Sixteen, remember?” Bro let you have a sip of his beer one time, but that was only booze you've ever had. It's sort of bitter. You don't think you want alcohol when you grow up but hey, anything can happen.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that. My dad's going to be at the party anyway, so I'd get caught. It's not like I want that icky alcohol anyway. Bluh.” Haha oh John. Ms. Lalonde drinks it all the time. Her house is stocked full of it.

“Well, I'll see you at the party tonight. Oh yeah, you're also going to get to meet my other sister, Roxy. She's a bit more like her mom than Rose is. Roxy's more fun in my opinion, but Rose is far from boring. But don't get her started on anything relating to psychology and stuff. She's mad smart, yo.” You hear the way the phone moves as John nods his head.

“Well, see you there. Happy New Year's Eve!” The phone line goes silent and you set your cell phone down on your desk. About three hours and forty minutes left until the party. There's enough time for you to mix your beats. You could also just get ready in about two hours and go over there early to talk to Roxy and Rose. Decisions, decisions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Replyin' to comments:  
> Nowistanbul: 1.Ah, thank you for the compliment! And the whole condom thing was actually an inside joke because my friends and I (When we were younger) said we wanted to jokingly try to get condoms or at least go look at them. I was hoping my friends would read this fanfic, so I put that joke in for when they do. Plus, it's a possibility that Nanna helped Jade, knowing her. 2. Oh yes. That seems fun to animate. i was going for a Jessica Rabbit-type feel I guess. I would be forever grateful if someone made that animation.  
> Fantasprite: Thank you for pointing out that error! I type pretty fast and I guess I forgot to double-check for errors. Also, with the whole transition thingy, that was actually another error. Hehe, whoops. It was Dave's then Jade's, then back to Dave's. There were lines that were supposed to be there but I guess I fucked up and forgot to put them. It's fixed now!


	24. Bring On 2015! (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Close to party time! Dave realizes that he's at a formal party, and he is NOT dressed to impress. Black jeans and a t-shirt? Honey, that a'int formal. Rose decides to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two is finally completed, thank god. I actually really, really like this chapter, and I absolutely love writing Rose. Probably more than I like writing Dave and John, if I'm going to be honest here. By the way, the links in the story are just what the dresses look like. Yes, I took the time to find real dresses. The links to the dresses are also in the end notes if you don't want to click the links while you're reading.

It's 7:43 PM and you're sitting on the white couch in Rose's living room. Rose said that Ms. Lalonde and Roxy were getting ready. Rose is sat next to you, idly playing with her purple and black fingernails. She's dressed in a [sleeveless, bright purple dress with crystal flowers lining the top of the dress and lining underneath the breast area](http://www.dillards.com/product/Masquerade-Strapless-AB-Stone-Trim-Party-Dress_301_-1_301_504699958?df=04321486_zi_purple&categoryId=-10005&scrollTop=1800). You feel a bit under-dressed, as no one told you this was a semi-formal party. The outfit you're wearing consists of black pants, a dark red shirt with gears on it in a lighter shade of red. Your red bolero is hanging of the arm of the chair, though you're not wearing it at the moment.

“So, Rose, how come I wasn't given the memo that this is a formal party? You're wearin' a fuckin' fancy ass dress and I feel like a ratty, rebellious teenager that decided to wear skater clothes to their parents' dinner party because they hated their parents.” Rose looks over at you with one delicately raised eyebrow.

“This party isn't necessarily a formal one. Wear whatever you choose. My mother, Roxy, and I just decided that we would dress up a little more than usual because this is a special occasion. I'm sorry that you thought otherwise, though I'm pretty sure you don't have any formal clothes. I'd be glad to give you some extra things I have in my closet.” She smiles with her black lips and you're pretty sure she doesn't have an extra suit back there.

“You don't have any suits. Uh, why would you? I understand that everyone can totally rock a suit, but I didn't think you'd just have one laying around.” Her chuckle scares you.

“I have something a bit better. Come with me, before John and his family arrive.” She stands up and gestures for you to follow her as she walks up the stairs to her room. Eh, why the hell not. You have nothing better to do with your time, so you follow Rose.

Once you both are in her room, she opens up the closet and you see a lot of black, purple, and white clothes, with a bit of pink sprinkled here and there. What shocks you, though, is one item of red clothing.

“I was saving this for a time when you could wear it, and now seems like the perfect occasion.” She spins around so that you can see her face, and she looks you up and down. “Take off your clothes or I shall do it. If you want, you can also use the bathroom and I could just give you the clothing and you can undress and put it on in there, though I don't trust that you'll wear it, seeing as I know you love that outfit so much. So, undress, and we shall get you into more attire, Dave Strider.” Her smirk as she turns away makes you wonder what she has in that closet of hers for you.

“Well, what's the attire look like, exactly?” Sighing, she looks over her shoulder and sends you a glare, and you shiver because wow those eyes scare you to your very core.

“Do you want to look pretty for John and his family? Dave, come on. We only have about eight minutes left.” You roll your eyes and start taking off your t-shirt.

It's not like she hasn't seen you unclothed before. She's your sister, so y'all are perfectly okay with each others' bodies. You've seen Rose's and Rose has seen yours. Not without undergarments, of course. That would just be wrong. You take off your pants next, and shimmy out of them, setting them on the bed next to your shirt.

“There, now you can see my hot bod.” She scoffs and finally takes out the red article of clothing from her closet. Turning around, you see that that is not, in fact, a red tuxedo, but a [bright red dress that looks like a sleeveless dress with some jewels in the middle but has a sheer top woth silver lining the area near the shoulders](http://www.ebay.com/itm/New-Short-Mini-Prom-Party-Evening-dress-Homecoming-Dresses-bridesmaid-Graduation-/301381941205?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=600362732777&hash=item462bc377d5). “Oh hell no. No, no, no. Rose what the fuck?”

“No time to waste. We have only five minutes before their arrival.” Walking over to you, so tries to slip on the dress, with no help to you, as you start yelling at her that fuck no you're not gonna wear a dress. Roxy walks in the door and just stares at you both, giggling with a snort as she struts over to you and assists Rose in slipping your arms through the tank top-like sleeves.

“So Rose, why's Dave wearing a dress? I mean, he looks good in it, I'm just askin' why he's all dolled up like this.” Rose looks over at Roxy with a smile that makes it seem as though they aren't forcing you into a dress while you're flailing around.

“Well, he said he wanted to wear something more formal, so I gave him this dress I was hoping to have him wear at a later date. Ah, it seems the dress is on! Those shoes don't really help it though... Oh, I have some black flats. Roxy, would you do the honors?” Roxy digs through Rose's closet and pulls out a pair of black flats that don't seem like they'd fit you, and Rose shakes her head no. “Those won't fit him, will they? Well, I suppose black and white sneakers aren't too bad... Anyway, our guests will be arriving in about one and a half minutes.”

She leads you back downstairs and Roxy follows you both. Now that you aren't trying to not be put in a dress, you can get a better look at Roxy. Her dress is a very light shade of pink and has crystals on the straps and the top part of the dress. The bottom is fluffy, whereas the top is smooth.

“Rose, I'm going to get out of the dress, I swear.” You start walking back to her room to go get your clothes when the doorbell rings and Ms. Lalonde runs down in her [white and black dress](http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fashion-Womens-Bandage-Bodycon-Asymmetric-Evening-Sexy-Party-Cocktail-Mini-Dress-/131343280547?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=430660293346&hash=item1e94ab69a3) to answer the door. Fuck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dresses, in case you didn't clink the links:  
> http://www.dillards.com/product/Masquerade-Strapless-AB-Stone-Trim-Party-Dress_301_-1_301_504699958?df=04321486_zi_purple&categoryId=-10005&scrollTop=1800 (Rose's dress)  
> http://www.ebay.com/itm/New-Short-Mini-Prom-Party-Evening-dress-Homecoming-Dresses-bridesmaid-Graduation-/301381941205?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=600362732777&hash=item462bc377d5 (Dave's dress)  
> http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fashion-Womens-Bandage-Bodycon-Asymmetric-Evening-Sexy-Party-Cocktail-Mini-Dress-/131343280547?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=430660293346&hash=item1e94ab69a3 (Ms. Lalonde's dress)


	25. Bring On 2015 (Part Three, Pussy Hunt edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John, Jane, and Mr. Egbert arrive at the Lalonde household, and Dave and John go hunting for pussy. PussyCATS, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs because I love joking about cats*

She opens the door with a smile, and you can barely see John and Jane’s heads. You can see John’s father, though, because of his height.

“Hello! You must be Mr. Egbert, and of couse- I mean, course- John and Jane! How lovely. Come in, come in! Happy New Year’s Eve.” She gestures inside and they all come in, with Mr. Egbert leading the way. While Ms. Lalonde and Mr. Egbert start speaking, John notices you and his eyes widen. Fuck, he notices the dress. Act casual, Dave. You wave at him and he walks over to you with a look of concern on his face.

“Hi, Dave… Uh, nice outfit choice.” Roxy giggles in the background, and you want to flip her off, but you restrain the urge and gulp.

“Look, Rose put me up to this. She and Roxy put me into this dress and I’m going to go change. I’m so sorry you had to see this ugh I need my black jeans and t-shirt back, Rose you bitch-“Before you can finish taking another step, John grabs your wrist and chuckles. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, John. Dave in a dress, haha how funny. You turn around and he’s biting his lip trying to stifle his little laughs, to no avail.

“Hey, I know it’s funny, but wow, rude.” John slowly stops laughing after a second and lets go of your wrist since he’s got your attention.

“No, no, it’s not that. Well, you’re right, it _is_ funny, but you look nice in it! Like, all the pretty silver and the color looks nice on you… Don’t worry, you’re fine.” He pats your shoulder and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that his father is here as well.

“Uh, John, sorry to tell you this, but your father is here, sadly.” He tenses up and looks behind him, watching his father deep in conversation with Ms. Lalonde.

“Um, we can tell him that you lost your clothes and Rose had to lend you some?” You stare at him, and he keeps nervously checking over at his shoulder to look at his dad.

“Ms. Lalonde owns a cat. Maybe we can say the cat shredded up my fancy tuxedo and Rose lent me this red dress because it was the only thing she had that fit me.” John grins at nods at your idea.

“Dude, that’s smart! Hopefully he’ll believe it. It sounds like a believable enough story to me. When he comes over to say hi, just tell him that.” Can do, John.

Roxy comes closer to you and stands by your side, and John notices her. “Oh, uh, hello. Who are you?”

“Hiya! Name’s Roxy, I’m Dave’s sister. Oh, that reminds me, where’s Dirk and your Bro, Dave? They were supposed to arrive here and bring the fireworks and shit. Anyway, hi, John. I’ve heard about you.” She smiles widely and waves at him.

“What have you heard?” You knew John would ask this. Nothing bad at all, is the answer, but you know Roxy will spill some of the information. You’ve told Roxy some embarrassing things before.

“Well, he’s said-“ You try to muffle her words with your hand but she must have expected that you would do that, and grabs your wrist, preventing you from stopping her, “-that you’re so very adorable and he’d like to cuddle up with you, which I think is sooo cute of him to say. Then he’s also said that you have this little overbite, and he likes it when you bite your lips and- I see the overbite! He was right, ah. Oh, there was once when he was all like, ‘Rox-” Oh hell no. You remember that time. Play time’s over.

“Haha, hey, Roxy, have you met Jane? She’s John’s sister. I think you’ll like her. You push her in the direction of Jane and quickly rush back to John. “Sorry about that.” John frowns at you, lowering his eyes in an ‘Are-you-kidding’ way.

“I wanted to hear what Roxy had to say! Plus, it must have been embarrassing if it pushed you to the point where you shoved her away, hehe.” John giggles and you shove his arm.

“It was nothing, shut up. Now let’s go look around the house, and maybe even find the cats living here, Frigglish, Jaspers, and Vodka Mutini. Be on the lookout for Vodka Mutini. She’s special.” John looks at you in confusion. “Ya see, before our family adopted her, and even before the shelter picked her up, lil Vodka wandered into a toxic waste area and accidently got more than a little bit of the sludge on her. Thankfully, it didn’t kill her, but instead gave her another fuckin’ wicked pair of eyes, so Vodka Mutini has four eyes.” Gaping at you, John splutters and you snicker as you start walking through the house.

“Four eyes? What type of anime and/or comic kind of shit is this?!” John walks alongside you, and it seems like everyone reacts this way when you tell them about Roxy’s cat.

“That’s insensitive, John. Vodka is a wonderful pet and a very playful one. Just because she has another set of eyes means nothing.” John makes a noise and you’re not sure if he knows that you’re joking around.

“I didn’t mean to offend you about your weir- I mean great- four-eyed cat, but still. _Four eyes?"_  You poke your head inside Roxy’s room and see Frigglish there, and walk inside the room.

“Here’s Frigglish. Say hi, Frigglish.” Frigglish meows and stretches out on Roxy’s bed, resting his head on a nearby pink bra. “Frigglish, get your head off Roxy’s bra. Roxy doesn’t need pussy on her undergarments.” John giggles at your words, and you move the bra away from Frigglish, making him meow in discontent. “Sorry, bro.” John pets Frigglish and he relaxes into John’s petting. “Alright, now we have to find Jaspers and Vodka Mutini. It’s odd that Jaspers wasn’t in Rose’s room. I wonder where he is.” You exit the room, and after a few seconds, John sprints, trying to catch up to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I'm able to finish all of the New Year chapters before school starts uuuughhhhh. If I don't finish by Monday, then a new chapter will be coming out like, every weekend, and that'd be sad because we'd be moving farther and farther away from New Year's.
> 
> P.S. 3 chapters in one day? whOAAAA


	26. Bring On 2015 (Part Four)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave find the last remaining cat and just decide to dick around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEWS: It looks as if I won't be able to finish the New Year's chapters by Monday. There's probably about 2 (possibly 3) chapters left and only one more day of Winter Break, not to mention I have to do something from 2:00-4:30 pm tomorrow. Then we'll go back to one update a week, and maybe not even that, because I have a con in a month and I have to REALLY get started on my cosplay. I'm super duper sorry!!!

Peeking your head inside Ms. Lalonde's room, you flick on the light. Dresses are strewn everyone and a few bras are scattered around on the bed, with some on the floor. Jeez, what happened in here? You hear a faint meow from the bar, and go over to it. Aye, there's Vodka Mutini! Sittin' on the counter and lickin' her lil paws.

“Hey, John. I found Vodka, come say hi.” John takes a few steps toward the bar, and eventually looks inside, making a small noise of unease as Vodka Mutini blinks her four eyes in unison. “Come on, don't be shy.” You pet Vodka, prompting John to do the same. He scratches her head, and she purrs, her bottom pair of eyes closing before the top set. “A'int she a cutie? She's attached to everyone, and is usually happy. More so than the other cats, at least.”

“Well, she sure is nice, though creepy. Not as creepy as I expected, though. Like, she's actually pretty cool.” He continues to pet Vodka Mutini as he leans against the bar.

“See, I told you, man. Now, would you like to try to find Jaspers with me, stay here with Vodka, or should we try going back downstairs? Maybe your dad is done talking to Ms. Lalonde now.” He nods and gets up, patting Vodka Mutini one last time on the head.

“We can go downstairs. Everyone's probably wondering where we are. I hope they don't think we're like, making out in one of the guest rooms or something. We were just looking for the kitties!” Vodka looks up at John as he speaks.

“Yeah, no sloppy makeouts. Just yet, at least.” You mutter the last part, and John looks over at you.

“What did you say? The last part, I mean.” He raises an eyebrow, and you bet he knows what you said.

“Nothing, nothing, come on, John.” You take his arm and walk downstairs, not letting him say another word. Once you both are downstairs, you notice that Roxy and Jane are chatting on the couch, Ms. Lalonde is mixing drinks in the kitchen, and Mr. Egbert is talking to Ms. Lalonde while she mixes drinks.

You sit down on the couch next to Roxy, but she only pauses briefly to say hi, then continues on with her story, which sounds like it's about the lab and all of the technology and equipment in it. John takes a seat next to you, and he looks around the house.

“This place is huge, not gonna lie. There's also lots of...Wizard statues? Uh, very nice, I guess. Hey, Dave, I also have a question. Was that place where Vodka was Ms. Lalonde's room? Maybe we shouldn't have gone inside her room without permission...” You click your tongue.

“Nah, it's fine. I don't think she'd mind. It's not like there's anything secret in there or anything. We didn't take anything from her bar or mess with the room or closet, so it should be fine. Don't worry.” He looks at you like he's unsure of whether or not to trust you, but you poke his cheek, and he splutters. “It's New Year's Eve, lighten up. Come on, I'm pretty sure Ms. Lalonde has some soda in her fridge. I hope so, at least. If not, Bro and Dirk will bring some once they come here.” Getting up, you stretch and walk over to the refrigerator and pull out some sparkling grape juice. You pour out some into two of the wine glasses in the cabinet, and bring them over to the couch, sitting down and giving the other glass to John while you keep one for yourself. “It's not soda, but hey, at least we can look fancy. Let's act like we're fuckin' wealthy ass millionaires at a soiree. Indubitably.” You raise your glass, then take a gulp of the stuff, and it's surprisingly not bad.

“I am a classy ol' chap hello David, how is your golden mansion doing?” John puts on a British accent and you snicker, raising your glass daintily, with your pinkie finger out. John follows your lead and does the same.

“I'm positively fine, and do I small nice? I should, since I showered in my wealth before the party. Ahaha.” Taking another swig of sparkling grape juice, you get up to refill your glass. 

Ms. Lalonde stops you as you’re opening up the fridge, but before she can say a word, she freezes and shuts her mouth, her eyes scanning you. “Davey, dear, why are you wearing a dress?” Mr. Egbert turns around and you internally take a deep breath. You got this, Dave.

“Vodka Mutini ripped holes in my clothes and I found that unacceptable, so Rose decided to lend me some of her clothes and this was the only thing she had in my size.” Ms. Lalonde squints her eyes, as if she can see right past your lie, but shrugs her shoulders and decides that it doesn’t really matter.

“Sweetie, will you be a dear and go get me some more chardonnay in the bar upstairs? I can’t seem to find any down herre but there’s bound to be some upstairs.” Her voice is only slurring a little bit as she makes her request, and you nod and go upstairs to fetch the alcohol.

You go upstairs into Ms. Lalonde’s room, but then you realize that you don’t know what the bottle of chardonnay looks like. Well, time to look through all of the bottles of booz- oh wait, there’s a bottle of it on the bar. Snatching it up, you exit the room and loud music greets you. Apparently, Ms. Lalonde turned on the TV to a channel that has party music. Great. 

Walking into the kitchen, you hand Ms. Lalonde the bottle of chardonnay, and she smiles at you. “Thank you, Dave. Now, as I was saying, James, chardonnay is another type of alcohol with a wonderful flavor. Oh, and fruity ones of course as well.” Deciding to leave them to their conversation, you walk back into the living room, only to see John has joined the conversation between Jane and Roxy.  
You’re about to join them, when Ms. Lalonde calls for you in the kitchen. “Davey, please come in here. Have you met James before?” You walk back into the kitchen and Ms. Lalonde and Mr. Egbert are looking at you. Does Ms. Lalonde mean Mr. Egbert?

“Yeah, I’ve met Mr. Egbert. Remember, I went over there for Christmas?” Ms. Lalonde is silent for a second, and then It clicks for her.

“Oh, yeah! I do hope my son was behaving appropriately, James. I know he can be quite something.” She laughs and looks back over at you. “Oh, Dave, would you please go gather the other guests?”

“They’re already on the couch in the living room. All casual conversation and laughs.” Ms. Lalonde claps her hands together after setting down her drink.

“Well splendid! James and I shall go in there in just a second. Go sit down with Roxy, John, and Jane, okay honey?” With a salute, you strut back into the living room and sit down next to John, leaning against him and wrapping your arms loosely around him.

“Hey, babe.” He starts a bit, and looks back at you, giggling, snuggling into your arms.

“Douche, don’t scare me! Roxy was telling the story of how Ms. Lalonde couldn’t tell her and Rose apart one day. Hehe, feel free to listen with me.” Leaning against John more, you decide that it wouldn't hurt to listen to Roxy’s story for a second, even though you’re pretty sure you've heard this one before.

“And she was all ‘Rose, can you fektch me my masarara?’ and kept on repeatedly telling her that I was Roxy, not Rose. Hahaha lmao and-” all of a sudden, Ms. Lalonde walks in, her heels clacking against the floor.

“Alright, everyone. Happy New’s Year Eve! As you all know, as a yearly tradition, we have to state our New Year’s resolutions, and play a few games. It’s even better now that we have company, am I ri-” The doorbell rings, and Ms. Lalonde gasps before shoving her drink at Mr. Egbert and hurriedly sprinting to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gASP* WHO COULD IT BE?! Just kidding, I'm pretty sure y'all know who it is.


	27. Bring On 2015 (Part Five)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bro and Dirk finally arrive to the party, and the entire group says their New Year's resolutions before they decide what games they're going to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out I had one last day of Winter Break, and that day just so happened to be today. But past today I have school and updates will be slower. Also, I estimate about 1-2 chapters until the New Year's event is done. I love writing about holidays, I'm sorry.

Ms. Lalonde flings open the door and standing there is Bro and Dirk. Dirk’s wearing an orange tuxedo vest and bowtie with a black dress shirt and black pants, while Bro is wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks. Ms. Lalonde hugs Bro and kisses Dirk on the cheek.

“Hello, Derrick, hiya Dirky! Look who finally made it to the party. Come on in, you two. Oh, and I forgot to tell you. We have guests.” Bro and Dirk walk into the living room and Ms. Lalonde shuts the door behind them, smiling as she walks up to Mr. Egbert and wraps an arm around his midsection. “This here is James, who’s John’s dad, and those are John and Jane, his kids. Wait, wait, y’all know who John and Jane are, right?”

“I know who John is. He’s Dave’s boyfriend from Starbucks. Hey, John.” John raises his eyebrows at Dirk, since he has no idea who the fuck Dirk is. Bro looks at you and then at John.

“Dirk here told me about Dave having a giant crush on some boy he met at his job. I’ve never met the kid formally, but late is better than never, right?” Bro sets down the packages of soda on the kitchen counter.

“Well, I’m glad you know some of our guests! John, Jane, James, this is Derrick Strider and my eldest son, Dirk Strider.” Both of them give a wave, and you’re the only one that waves back at them. “We were just about to start New Year’s Resolutions and games. Come and join us near the couch.”

 Bro sits on the left far side next to Dirk, Dirk sits next to Rose, Rose is on next to you, after you is John, then there’s Roxy, Jane is after her, Mr. Egbert decides to sit next to his daughter, and Ms. Lalonde is on the other side of Mr. Egbert. A bit of a cramped couch, but nothing drastic.

“Alright, I suppose I’ll start. My New Year’s resolution is to find the most expensive bottle of alcohol, and buy it! At the very least, look at it or give it a taste. Mr. Egbert?” Mr. Egbert adjusts his tie and sits up straight.

“I hope to improve at my work and see my young boys and girls grow another year and advance in their life.” Ms. Lalonde nods maturely, and looks over at Jane.

“Baking the best cakes ever, and learning to maybe cook new things. I want to be as good as Dad and Nanna. I’m already pretty darn good at baking, if I say so myself, but maybe it’s time I expand my knowledge. Also lose a little bit of weight, I suppose” John looks at her with a smile.

“Your cakes are already fascinating. I think the whole family can agree on that. Mr. Egbert nods at John’s words. “And your weight’s fine, Jane.”

“Oh, it looks like it’s my turn next. Okie dokie, I wanna find me a date, maybe? At least another friend. It’s nice to get friends, y’know. Oh, and I’d love to learn to do hacking better. While already a fuckin’ master, I’m not as good as some people.” Mr. Egbert gives her a look when she curses, but says nothing. John adjusts his sitting position when he realizes that it’s his turn.

“I swear that I’m gonna grow better at magic! I can also use that to prank people. Dad, Jane, _Dave,_ you guys better watch out.” You’re surprised he said your name, but eh, you’re sure you can deal with some more of his pranks. “Oh, and losing some of this chub I have would be great. If only _someone_ didn’t feed me so many cakes.” He sends a pointed look over to his father and his father snickers. You wanna reassure John that his chub is absolutely adorable and he’s perfectly fine, but you realize it’s your turn and instead just decide to say your resolutions.

“I normally don’t do resolutions, but I guess I sort of want to be able to beat some of my family members in rap battles, and yeah I wanna beat Bro in a strife, but that man’s just to much of a pro.” Bro chuckles at this a nods his head with a smug smile.

“Improving my social skills and enhancing my robots. Those are really my only goals.” Dirk shrugs his arms and nudges Bro’s arm, telling him it’s his turn.

“Eh, I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.” Dirk glares at him behind his shades and Bro lightly shrugs his shoulders in what seems to be apology.

“Oh… Alright, well then I suppose that end New Year’s Resolutions! I hope all of your wishes come true. May the year be filled with happiness. Can I get a hell yeah?!”

“Hell yeah!” You, John, Jane, and Roxy scream and Ms. Lalonde claps her hands together as she giggles and Roxy continues cheering long after.

“Now, as I said, there are going to be games. Are there any requests for what we should do in our time? And don’t be afraid to be silly!” She winks and hums as she thinks up a game.

“Psssst mom we should dooooo dress-up. Do you know how many cute dresses and outfits we have? We can work in pairs and dress up our partners. The first person will dress up the second, then the second one will dress up the first, and this includes makeup, too.” Ms. Lalonde looks like she’s interested, and Jane nods her approval. Mr. Egbert rubs the back of his neck with an awkward face, and Dirk and Bro stay passive.

“Hm, well since no one else has offered an idea, then it’s settled. We only have a few hours until the new year and the fireworks, though, remember this guys. Now, choose a partners and we’ll see who goes first.” Ms. Lalonde grabs Mr. Egbert quick as lighting, and you notice this. Of course she’d choose Mr. Egbert.

You grab John’s hand and he smiles at you, looking down at your dress. Rolling your eyes at him, you squeeze his hand tighter. Roxy leans against Jane and then looks over at Ms. Lalonde. It looks like they’re a team. Dirk points at Rose and Rose points at Dirk, and Bro just sits there.

“Oh, shit, I forgot we don’t have an even number.” Bro just scoots farther away from all of the teams.

“It’s okay, y’all can play your game, I’ll just watch-” Ms. Lalonde glares, and Rose looks over at him and grins, grabbing him on his wrist before he can scoot away any farther.

“You can join our group, Bro. We’ll have fun dressing you up, don’t worry.” She pulls him near Dirk and shifts her gaze to Ms. Lalonde. “We’ll be a team of three. Dirk and I don’t mind.” Bro turns his head away, and it looks as if he’s staring into a camera like in The Office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dress-up is so much fun fuck yeah


	28. Bring on 2015! (Part Six, Fashion Edition (Rose, Dirk, and Bro Style))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose, Dirk, and Bro get dressed for the fashion show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck, it's been so long since I've updated, I'm so sorry. I've been busy with school projects and getting ready for a convention I'm going to on February 7-8. It's been sort of stressful, to be honest. I'm sorry for not updating for a while, and chapters will probably continue to come out slowly. Next weekend, I have the con, so I can't really write anything, and then after the con, I'll be able to write the next fashion show group, then the next, and then the fashion show, then the dinner and ending, hopefully. Not the ending of the story, mind you. Just the end of the New Year's special.  
> As always, I'm responding to comments in the End Notes.

Rose and Dirk shuffle you into Rose’s room, and she shuts the door behind her. Once they turn around, their faces are predatory, and you stand in the middle of the room blank-faced. With one hand on her hip, Rose begins speaking.

“Hello, father dearest,” you cringe when you hear her say that, so used to being called Bro not father, “it seems we have the pleasure of dressing you up. What fun this shall be. Quite a treat, I’d say.” Dirk nods at her words and starts walking toward you.

“With a muscular body like yours, a tight-fitting dress might work, but at the same time though…” He trails off as he looks you over. “You might just look plain silly in something like that.” Rose walks over to her closet and sifts through it, and Dirk hums a short tune as he imagines you in different outfits.

“Ah, this should work,” Rose exclaims as she pulls out an orange dress with lots and lots of tulle-like fabric on the bottom and underneath it, making it seem as if the dress has ruffles. The dress itself looks like it’s made of an airy fabric. “So dainty, and although it’s a bit lighter than the color of your eyes, it still works in your favor,” She lays out the dress on her bed and gives you a look, “now strip. This dress has to get on you somehow.”

Without a complaint, you begrudgingly take off your white dress shirt, black slacks, and baseball cap. The shades stay on, however. Gotta say classy. Dirk hands you the dress, and you snatch it from his hands, trying to make your actions as nonchalant as possible while still being a bit visibly angry.

Slipping the dress over your head, the fabric suffocates you, and you try to get the dress on as quickly as possible. The top part slides on, and you shove your arms through the sleeves, not being as cautious as you’d like. Once you’re done, you turn around and raise an eyebrow. They nod their approval, and Dirk lightly places a shiny, golden crown on your head.

“Alright, Dirk, you’re next.” Rose searches through her closet while you look for accessories. While you’re looking through the messy drawers, you spot a black bow, and pull it out. Rose turns around at the sound of something slipping out of one of her drawers and nods at the bow, then goes back to searching.

After a minute or two, Rose pulls out a sleeveless orange dress with a black ribbon tied around in the middle that ends in a bow. It really suits Dirk’s eyes, and Rose smiles as if she read your mind.

“Dirk, this dress has a color that matches your eyes precisely, and the black bow that Bro has selected goes with it as well. Strip and put this on, please Dirk,” rose has a pleasant tone to her voice as she orders Dirk to do as she says.

Obediently, he takes off his black jeans, carefully peels off his orange tuxedo vest along with the black dress shirt underneath, and (like you) he keeps on his shades. Rose hands him the dress and he slips it on with no difficulty. How did Rose know the sizes of both you _and_ Dirk? Has she planned this for some time?

“Derrick, I haven’t planned this in the slightest, I assure you. Well, sort of. I have dresses of all colors and I’ve gotten some of the sizes from Mother. She suggested I get the dress, and I complied.” She’s a damn mind-reader, you swear.

“All right, how do I look?” Dirk twirls around and you stop him mid-twirl to put the bow in his spiky, blonde hair.

“ _Now_ you look perfect. Rose, ya weren’t kiddin’ when you said he would look damn fine in that dress.” Rose giggles, with a wide smile.

“Damn straight. Now, what do you guys wish to put on me? Feel free to search thoroughly through my closet. I do hope you both have a well enough fashion sense.” Dirk raises his eyebrows at Rose’s words.

“You sayin’ we don’t got a fashion sense? Rose, I’m hurt.” He places a hand on his chest delicately, and Rose rolls her eyes, pointing towards the closet and sitting on the bed with her legs folded.

“Oh shut up, Dirk. It’s a joke and we all know it. Now get to dressing me, would you?” You decide to search the right side of her closet, while Dirk sifts through the left side. Something purple ought to do it, if the whole color pattern is still going on. Orange for Dirk’s eyes, orange for your eyes, so purple for Rose’s eyes would make the most sense, duh.

Dirk pulls out a lavender colored bridesmaid dress with a purple ribbon below the bust area on the bed, and Rose wordlessly begins taking off her bright purple dress and black knee-high socks without having to be told to do so. She starts putting on the dress while you leave the closet area and start rummaging through her drawers. You find a purple headband, and set it down on the bed next to the spot where the dress was. Once Rose is done putting on the dress, she slips the headband on and smiles as she admires herself in the mirror.

“Very nice, boys. Dirk, you even managed to find my beautiful lavender dress. How lovely. We’re going to beat the others for sure. Let’s go the guest room and wait for the others. They might need to come in here for one of my articles of clothing.” She exits her room, and Dirk follows after her. Slowly, you leave the room and wonder how the others will be dressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.ebay.com/itm/Elegant-Bridesmaid-Wedding-Party-Prom-Ball-Evening-Formal-Dress-Xs-S-M-L-Xl-2Xl-/390914432054?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=660281296236&hash=item5b0450dc36 - Dirk's dress.
> 
> I'm too crunched for time to find Rose's and Bro's again, but a simple Ebay search for 'purple dress' and 'orange dress' should pull them up. 
> 
> RESPONDING TO COMMENTS:  
> Imahales: I have Tumblr to thank for me inserting that part in lmao  
> RogueofLight- It was sort of a rhetorical question to set up hype for the chapter, but I suppose you're correct.  
> Ace- Oh. I actually forgot that they were supposed to react to Dave's dress. Maybe I forgot that Dave was wearing a dress at all. Oh well, it all worked out in the end, because would they really react to Dave being in a dress? They'd probably be like, "Fuck yeah dude, rock that dress. Where'd ya get it?"  
> banana_tango- Ahh thanks! I'm always unsure of whether or not I'm writing John correctly heh


	29. Bring On 2015! (Part Seven, Fashion Edition (John and Dave Style))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's John and Dave's turn to dress each other up for the fashion show! But there's a lot of tension in the air. Hey, it's hard trying not to kiss someone! Especially when they're in a cute dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Valentine's Day!

Once Rose, Dirk, and Bro are done dressing up, you get access to Rose's room, and enter it with Dave following shortly behind you. Some clothes hangers are scattered on the floor, and a drawer is left open, but everything else seems to be in place and fine. The closet door is ajar, and you can see shirts, dresses, skirts, and pants in all different colors and textures. 

"Alright, John, you first since I'm already in a dress. I'll still need a new dress for the fashion show, but that's beside the point." You raise an eyebrow and him, and a smirk tugs at the side of your lips, a snicker daring to tumble out of your mouth.

"You just want to see me in a dress, don't you, Dave?" He frowns at you, and walks over to the closet, opening the door further and kicking some clothes hangers away from his feet.

"Maybe. Now, I'd say blue, white, and silver would go best for your outfit color scheme..." Dave talks as he sifts through Rose's closet, frowning even more when he only spots a few blue things, "I'll be right back. Maybe Mom has a few more things to select from." He walks out of the bedroom door, shutting it behind him and leaving you in the silent room. While he's gone, you go through the clothes in Rose's closet and try to find something for Dave to wear, but nothing catches your eye. A red cocktail dress, a sleek black gown... You sit back down on the bed again, wondering just what you've going to have him wear.

A moment later, he enters the room again and shuts the door with a loud bang, making you jolt. In his hands is... A blue ballgown? Whoa, pretty. 

"Look what I found, dude. The color is fuckin' on point, and you'll look like Cinderella." He sets the dress down on the bed, and now that you can see it in all of its entirety, it's detailed and looks really amazing.

It's like a Cinderella dress, just like Dave said, but it's adorned with sapphires and silver glitter. The color of the dress matches the color of the sapphires that are on it. You peel off your dress shirt, vest, and pants, then cautiously slip the ballgown over your head. The dress is heavy, and the jewels scrap your arm. Once the dress is fully on you, you realize that's soft on the inside, and it feels like the material is silk.

"Damn. Hey, try twirling," Dave leans back on the bed and watches as you slowly twirl because the dress is so heavy. "Heh, you're a princess. _My_ princess." Is his voice breathy or are you just hearing things? You look away, but hear him getting off the bed. When you look back over at him, he's walking towards you, admiring the dress on you. He pulls out a small compact full of silvery glitter and a tube of lip gloss, and steps closer until his face is inches away from yours.

"Hey, close your eyes for a sec." Once you do, you can feel the brush lightly applying the glitter onto your eyelids and around your eyes. Dave's breath is hot on your skin, and it gets warmer when he leans in to wipe away from glitter that's in the wrong area. Next, you hear a cap come off, and the moist feeling of lip gloss appears on your lips, and he swipes the gloss wand over your lips. You taste strawberries, and the smell is sweet and strong. "There, all done. Open your eyes and see how fuckin' sweet you look." Your eyes flutter open and see all of the shimmer around your eyes in the mirror in his hand. He took a few steps back, so you have room to take the handheld mirror into your own hands and examine your makeup further. In your opinion, you look like a fairy, but Dave really did a a fantastic job with all of it. When you set down the mirror, you see that he's intently staring at you, his expression unreadable behind his shades.

\-----------POV SWITCH TO DAVE -------- POV SWITCH TO DAVE--------

It's unfair. He shouldn't look that good in a dress. He looks heavenly, like an angel sent to Earth, with his eyes matching the glimmering sapphires on his dress and his fluffy hair that's free of hair gel. His full, shiny lips that you imagine on your lips and body. Skin as smooth as porcelain, and face shimmering like he's your god. Maybe he is. You should worship how stunningly gorgeous and amazing he looks. You step toward him, a needy noise stuck in your throat. He watches you with confusion as you step closer and closer, your face just centimeters away from his. Before he can speak or protest, you kiss him hard, and the taste of strawberry lip gloss explodes on your tongue. 

"Dave, you're getting glitter everywhe- ah-" He freezes as you smooth out his dress with the plam of your left hand and cup his cheek with your right, licking inside his mouth. "Dude, come on, I know I'm hot and all, but we have to get you dressed up too." John bites your lower lip with his front teeth and you shiver. When his teeth let go, you lip is bleeding, the metallic taste on your tongue as you swipe the blood away. 

"Sorry, dude. Dresses are so hot to me, and holy fuck, you look like a gift from the Heavens above. You could wreck me and I'd say thank you-" A whine rises in your throat as the words tumble out of your mouth, and you bite down on your lower lip to shut yourself, opening up the previous wound again. John's face flushes red and he looks away from you as you try to shoo away all the dirty thoughts in your mind. John in a shorter dress, perhaps, with panties adorned with a small bow on the front... You lightly shake your head to snap back to reality. "A-alright, come on, let's get me dressed up. Go and choose something for me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit thought about making this chapter NSFW, but I didn't. Maybe one day, I'll make an alternate ending to this chapter and post it separate, but it'll be in the same series.....
> 
> Replying to comments:  
> Banana_Tango: Thank you, and thanks to you as well as all of the readers of this fic who have been so patient with both me and the story!  
> Ace: Hell yeah they would! Striders in dresses are one of my weaknesses.


	30. Bring On 2015! (Part Eight Fashion Edition (Jane and Roxy Edition feat. John and Dave))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John dresses Dave, and Roxy+Jane get dressed up for the big fashion show. Then, it's time for the event itself to begin! Lights, camera, action! Well, at least the 1st and 3rd apply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit it's not even close to New Year's anymore and it's been over a month since I updated I'm so sorry. I'm having a hard time writing this lately for some reason, and I've been doing other things and going on anime marathons and writing fanfics for my homies at school and shit. There might be big time gaps between chapters now, especially so since I'm thinking of starting another multichapter fic, so it'll take me time to write that too. 
> 
> 1ST PART IS IN JOHN'S POV. 2ND PART IS IN ROXY'S POV, 3RD PART IS IN JOHN'S POV

You drag out a heavy, ruby-bejeweled dress and gently set it down, letting Dave admire it. The dress has dazzling rubies on the bottom of it, as well as the top, and it's a red to dark red gradient. Black lace adorns the bottom of the sleeves, very bottom of the dress, and after every ruffle on the bottom half of the shirt. Black ribbon was on the midsection, and went around to the back, where it formed a neat bow. 

To go along with the dress, you decided to pair it with dark red knee-high socks, a black hair bow, and a pair of black Mary Janes that had a black bow on them. You've seen Rose wear these before. She absolutely adores them and wears them all the time- at almost every she gets, actually. Hopefully she won't mind you borrowing them for the fashion show. She probably won't though, considering that she's allowing everyone to use whatever they wish.

Dave takes off his own dress (He could have just worn it for the fashion show, but where would the fun in that be?) and removes his red, black, and white sneakers, then gingerly puts on the new dress over his head. It looks a bit snug on him, and he cringes a little bit, but it doesn't seem to be suffocating. Sighing, he slips on the dark red knee-highs, the fabric gliding easily over his legs, and then slides his feet into the Mary Janes. The Mary Janes (thankfully) fit, thanks to Rose liking it when her shoes are loose on her feet instead on constricting. Lastly, he clips the bow into his hair, the black a sharp contrast with his light blonde, almost white hair.

"How do I look?" He raises an eyebrow behind his shades and juts his hip out, placing a hand on it and awaiting your response. Eyeing his legs, you smile and let a small laugh escape. "What? Something wrong with my shoes or something?" He looks down at his in confusion, and you let out a louder laugh this time.

"No, no, not at all! I was just gonna ask if you could take off your Mary Janes 'cause your legs look damn fine in those knee-highs," You giggle again and he almost does the same, "or I suppose elegant would be a better word."

"How about regal? Illegal?" He pushes up his shades and you roll your eyes. Is he seriously gonna rap at a time like this? What a gigantic nerd.

"Come on Dave, you're not gonna rap. We have a fashion show to get to!" You grab his hand and lead him out of the room, so that you two can both go sit and wait with the others.

\----------

You and Jane go into your room, and Jane looks around it for a second, examining the cat and anime posters adorning your wall, and your giant bed covered in soft, pink, lacy bed sheets. The pillows are shaped like cats, and there's a fuckton of cat plushies scattered all over the floor. Your desk is on the right side of the room, and it has you fancy computer on it.

 "Aaaalright, Janey! You ready to get dolled the fuck up?" You whip your head around to look at her after you close the door, and she's giggling, nodding her head and sitting on the bed. "Yessss. So, you wanna dress me up first, or should I dress _you_ up first?" She puts her hand under her chin, humming in concentration, before she sits up and declares her answer.

"Me, first, I believe." Nodding in agreement, you rush over to your closet and quickly sift through the clothes, looking for anything blue to match her. You spot a few blue dresses, and grin once you find the perfect one. It's [a pastel blue lolita dress](http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ladies-Sweet-Cotton-Lace-Layered-Gothic-Lolita-Dress-Cosplay-Costume-9-Colors-/141334893617?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=440461603327&hash=item20e8375431) with a giant, light blue bow in the middle, two smaller bows of the same color on the bottom of the dress, and three small bows going down on the chest area. There's ruffles on the sides and on the sleeves, and there's white lace everywhere.

"Wow, what a cute dress! If I may ask, though, why do you have that? It seems more like a dress made for a smaller girl..." She's staring at the dress in confusion, and you set it down on the bed, smirking at her.

"It's called lolita, Jane. It's a type of girly, lacy, frilly fashion style that's based all around cuteness! Well, pastel lolita is like that. I have several lolita dresses in many colors! Now, try this on." She looks at it with worry, and you realize the possibility of it not fitting her, seeing as she's a bit bigger than you are. "Oh. Don't worry if it doesn't fit. I probably have tons of other clothes that'll look stunning on ya! I usually get lolita dresses bigger anyway, seeing as some of them are nice when they're loose, and some I just accidentally bought the wrong size."

Picking up the dress, she walks to the bathroom connected to your room and shuts the door behind her, planning to get dressed in there. She struggles a bit with the dress, but manages to get it on, and although it's a little bit tight, it seems to fit her pretty okay. She smiles and twirls around in it and you giggle, giving her a thumbs up.

"See! I told you it would fit you. Always trust in Momma Roxy." You puff out your chest and place a hand on it, feeling smug and proud- swelling with pride. "Now, for your shoes..." You go through your shoes, and decide on a pair of white Mary Janes, and then for her accessory, a white hair bow. She puts them on and you clasp your hand over your mouth. "You look so pretty!" Squealing, you hug her and then jump onto your bed, sitting up after a second. "Now it's _your_ turn to dress _me_!"

 She nods once, then jumps up and rifles through your closet, humming again as she searches for something suitable for you to wear. "A-ha!" She exclaims, as she pulls out [a pink and white lolita maid dress](http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ladies-Princess-Dress-Sweet-love-Lolita-Halloween-Cosplay-party-costume-/201173076807?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=500372680077&hash=item2ed6d98b47)  from your closet and places it on the bed alongside you. It''s got a small pink bow at the top, just like a bowtie, and a large pink bow on the middle of the dress. White long sleeves sprout out from the pink short sleeves that end in frills, and the bottom of the dress is completely white. The top looks just like a maid dress design-wise, and it's white there too. White lace covers certain parts of the dress and you start laughing really loudly, snorting in between your giggles, as Jane looks at you with wide, questioning eyes.

"You- you found my maid outfit ahahaha!" You see her mouth moving, as if to apologize or say something, but she starts laughing along with you once she notices how hilarious the situation is. "It's a cute dress, so meh. I'll wear it, sure. Why the hell not, right? Hey, search in the box on the left side of my closet and see if you can find the headpiece, would ya? It would go nicely with this." You shed off the dress you're wearing, and she blushes, quickly turning around to go search for the box you mentioned to her. "Oh please, Janey. You afraid of my bra or something? Oooo my titties are gonna getcha!" You snicker at your own silliness and put the dress on, adjusting the top of the dress and the bottom as well. 

"Pfff oh noo. I'm sooo scared!" Her voice is laced with sarcasm as she rolls her eyes and gives you a giant grin. "Hey, I found the headdress, as well as these white thigh-highs I thought would match the outfit." She holds up the items and your eyes twinkle as you snatch them from her hands.

"My thigh-highs! But of course. Every adorable maid needs a pair. You kick off your heels and start pulling on the thigh-highs, relishing the feeling of the soft fabric on your legs. Once you're finished putting both of them on, you place the headdress in your hair and then sit back down on the bed, waiting for her to pick out a pair of shoes. She pulls out a pair of light pink heeled boots with pink bows on them, and you nod excitedly, standing up and putting the shoes on. "There. Now I'm the cutest maid anyone has ever seen!" You make a peace sign and cross your legs, giving Jane a wink and striking a pose. "Let's show those fuckin' losers who the _real_ fashion princesses are, Janey!"

\-------

It looks pretty dark, other than a light that's aimed at the middle of the room, near the couch, and the song "Toxic" by Britney Spears is playing at a medium volume in the background. You both go downstairs, and go into the small room to the side that Rose's mom directs you both to. She said to wait until you guys were called, and that they others would act as an audience, and this would happen for the other groups too. 

"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome, and I present to you, the Lalonde Household Fashion Show! We have our groups, John Egbert and Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde with Dirk Strider and Derrick Strider, Roxy Lalonde and Jane Crocker, and then last but not least, James Egbert and myself! First up, we have John Egbert and Dave Strider!" Hearing your cue, you urge Dave out of the door, and walk out into the light, the jewels on the dresses sparkling in the bright light. You hear several 'Ooos' and 'ahhhhs' as you guys appear at the center of the room, striking poses. 

"John, you look like a lil Cinderella! The dress is so royal..." Roxy calls out from the audience, and you see the others nod in agreement as they admire your ballgown.

"I especially like the glitter around your eyes, John. It makes you appear magical, as if you're a fairy of some sort," Rose smiles at you from her seat on the couch, her purple lips curved upwards ever perfectly so. 

"And I love Dave's knee-highs. Nice, bro. They look soft as fuck," Dirk notes, the comment aimed at Dave rather than you. Dave nods, sticking out his leg and running a hand up his knee-high socks.

You take Dave's hand again and bring him over to Rose, Dirk, and Dave's Bro's seats after they get up and take their place in the small room you and Dave were just in. Dave sits down in his Bro's old seat, while you take Rose's seat. Now that the song "Toxic" was over, "Sissy That Walk" came on, and Dave snickered at the music choice.

"What lovely outfits, am I right? Truly, belles of the ball. Up next, we have Rose Lalonde, Dirk Strider, and Derrick Strider!" Derrick? Oh, she means Dave's bro. The three of them exit the room and step into the middle of the room, showing off their dresses and smiling. 

"Nice tiara, Bro! You're a motherfuckin' queen up in here," Dave shouts at his brother, and Dave's Bro gives him a smirk and a thumbs up in response. Your father glances at him and gives him a disgusted look, and you tug on the sleeve of Dave's dress.

"Dave! Tone down the cursing. My dad's right over there, dude," You hurriedly whisper, and his eyebrows shoot up. He immediately apologizes, wincing and looking back over at the stage.

"Roooose, that shade of lavender looks sooo good on you!" Roxy squeals, and Jane nods at Roxy's words. "The soft tones are really nice, and they match your mellow mood, sis." Dave gives them a thumbs up, and you follow his actions with a smile and a thumbs up of your own. 

"The flowing fabric is rather soothing and elegant, Mr. Strider." Jane motions to the bottom of his dress, and he thanks her before walking away with Rose and Dirk. You spot Roxy and Jane start to rush off into the small room to go next, but before they go, you call out to Jane.

"Good luck! I bet you look fabulous Jane." She smiles and her mouth moves, as if she's replying to you, but you can't quite hear her before she goes away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ribbon on the back of Dave's dress was supposed to be like the ribbon wrapped around Kanaya. Also, the house is like this: ( http://www.backdropsbeautiful.com/dance-backdrops/mansion-interior--4.html ) but with a smaller middle staircase, making it possible for you to see the living room from the stairs.  
> Also, for those who don't know, "Sissy That Walk" is the song used on the show RuPaul's Drag Race. Next chapter will be the end of the fashion show, and then some extra stuff.  
> Replyin' to some comments!  
> banana_tango: Aww! Thank you so much for both of your comments! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!!  
> Kurloz Makara: Well here it is hehe! ^w^


	31. Bring On 2015! (Part Eight, Walk Walk Fashion Baby!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walk walk fashion baby! The fashion show comes to a grand conclusion! Get ready, ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between! They crown the winners of the Lalonde Household Fashion Show 2k15!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4/13 to all of you! You guys get a special update that concludes the fashion show! Ah... 6 years since Homestuck first started. Look how far we've come...
> 
> Anyway, the first part's in Jane's POV, second/last part is in John's POV

"Up next, we have our little princesses, Jane Crocker and Roxy Lalonde!" Miss Lalonde announces the two of you, and you strut forwards, a proud smile on your face. Everyone in the crowd is whispering things that you can't exactly hear over the booming music, but they all have smiles on their faces. That's a clear sign that they love your outfits, right? It's gotta be. John's giving you a thumbs up a huge, dorky grin from his seat in the audience.

"Jane, you look great!" His eyes are bright as he cheers you on, and you strike another pose as Roxy does the same. Dave elbows him, and he adds, "and Roxy, you look absolutely stunning!" Roxy giggles and winks to him, and you think you see him blush, but you can't be sure due to the lighting. You wave to the audience, and Roxy blows them all kisses, lifting up her leg behind her and flaring out her hands to the side once she's done, striking a final pose before taking your hand in hers, waving, then walking away with you.

Once you both are back in the audience, you see that Mr. Strider is standing in the spot Miss Lalonde was in mere seconds before. He clears his throat, and adjusts the top of his dress before speaking loudly to the audience.

"I will be substituting for Roxanne for right now, ladies and gentlemen, because last but not least, we have Roxanne and Mr. Egbert in our fashion show." Mr. Strider gestures to where the both of them are walking to the middle of the room. Miss Lalonde is wearing a black robe made out of a soft material, and beside her is Mr. Egbert, who's wearing a white dress made of light, breezy fabric that ends in a trail going backwards and has a v-neck. Roxy's mom is clinging to Mr. Egbert's arm as if they were a couple walking down the right carpet, waving gracefully with her other hand and giggling. Mr. Egbert smiles, and for a split second, you wonder if it's fake. It appears he's actually having some fun though, because of the happy look in his eyes. After a second, Miss Lalonde undos her black robe to reveal a light pink, satin lingerie dress, and the whole crowd's eyes go wide. It's quite a lovely dress, you must admit, and her figure suits it very well. You hoot and holler for your father as well as Miss Lalonde, and Roxy give them a wolf-whistle and a wink from her position next to you.

"The new celebrity couple of the century, folks! Lalonbert! Or maybe Eglonde?" Roxy grins at her mom, and gives both of them a look before making a heart with her hands and a kissy face. "I can see it happening! Hey Jane, wanna be my sister?" She turns to look over at you, her eyes shining brightly and a smile as wide as it could be.

Giving her a chuckle, you nod before replying with, "Sure, Roxy! Hey dad, think it'll ever happen?" You turn to look over at your dad and he's blushing a bit, his face dusted in light pink.

"Now, now, girls. You're going a bit overboard, don't you think? I-" Miss Lalonde gives him a little booty-bump and tries to stop herself from laughing when he seems to grow a bit more red at the action. You and Roxy exchange looks, and you know it's going to be a fun night.

"Oh James, come on~ Let them have their fun! Besides, they have a point..." She purrs, giggling when he leads her back to their seat in the audience immediately, mumbling words under his breath. "Oh, oh, wait!" She releases herself from his grip and scurries back to where Mr. Strider is with the microphone. She snatches the microphone out of his hands and shoos him away, grinning at the audience as she fixes a stray hair.

"That's all for the Lalonde Household Fashion Show. However, we have yet to crown a winner! Shall there even be a winner? That's for the audience to decide! Commentary begins now. Come up to the microphone if you wish to elect someone as winner, or just 'ooo' and 'ahhh' over a group's outfits!" She pulls a chair from the side of the room and sits on it, microphone still in her hand. "Oh, and I'd like it if you didn't vote for your own group. It's better to want others to win!"

Mr. Strider goes up to the microphone and speaks to Miss Lalonde and she leans into the microphone to say, "One vote for John Egbert and Dave Strider!" Rose goes up next, and Miss Lalonde speaks into the microphone once again, "Another vote for John Egbert and Dave Strider." 

More and more people go up to the mic, including you and Roxy. You vote for John and Dave, and Roxy votes for Miss Lalonde and Mr. Egbert. Finally, after a while, Miss Lalonde squeals and stands up, a sheet of paper in her hand. On it seems to be something scrawled in ink.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the results! We have... 4 votes for John and Dave, 3 votes for Jane and Roxy, 1 vote for Dirk, Derrick, and Rose, and 1 vote for Mr. Egbert and I. Congratulations, John and Davey, for being the winners of the Lalonde Household Fashion Show!" 

\-----

You... You won? you won! The realization dawns on you as Miss Lalonde beckons you and Dave over to the spotlight where she was. Once you both are up near where she is, she picks her purse up from the ground and takes a tube of black lipstick out of it. After applying it ever so gently, she kisses you both on the cheek, leaving a mark. Your face heats up, whereas Dave keeps his cool. Probably because it's his mom, but she's still a pretty lady, and _you just got kissed by a pretty lady._ She gives you both great big hugs, and the audience claps and cheers. You can distinctly hear your dad and Jane screaming your name, and you get so excited, you turn towards Dave and kiss him there on the stage. The entire crowd falters in their claps, but you can hear Roxy's giggling through the mental haze of victory. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated leaving this on a cliffhanger. Y'all are lucky that I decided to be generous since it's 4/13. Quick note: I forgot to mention the family trees! It has nothing to do with this chapter, but it's important. Bro and Miss Lalonde were dating a while back, and had Rose and Dave, but never got married. David (Alpha!Bro) and Rosalina (Alpha!Mom) presumably had a one night stand and had Dirk and Roxy. After having the children, they never got together in that way again. Rosalina takes care of Roxy and vice versa, but Miss Lalonde (Roxanne) enjoys watching over the kids so sometimes they go to her or Bro (Derrick). The Egbert/Harley/crocker family tree will be talked about at a later date!


End file.
